What's the best dog joke you've heard?

[dolphin]

This is a good one.

One day at a butcher shop a Bulldog walked in with a bag in his mouth. The butcher took the bag out of his mouth and said "Well boy what cha got here". Inside there was money and a list of cold cuts, so the butcher shrugged his shoulders and filled the bag up and took the money. The Bulldog then used his head to push open the door and walked out. The butcher, now intrigued, followed the dog out, keeping his distance, he watched as the Bulldog sat down beside the bench at the bus stop. As the first bus came by and stopped the butcher noticed that the dog stood up read the number on the front of the bus shook his head and sat back down. That bus left and the next bus came by, as like the last one, the Bulldog stood up and looked at the number. The butcher noticed the Bulldog nod his head and walk right on the bus. Still curious the butcher followed. Three stops later the Bulldog got off the bus and walked about a block, the butcher following him the whole way. The Bulldog walked up to a house looked at it, ran up the steps hitting his head on the door so loud the butcher would have sworn it was a gunshot if he hadn't seen it himself. The Bulldog did this 4 or 5 more times till a very old man answered the door and let the Bulldog inside. The butcher hollered at the man and said "Wow, buddy that has to be the smartest dog I've ever seen"'. The man at the door said "Smart!! That's the 3rd time this week that dumb dog has forgotten his keys"!

 

[nycbullymama]

lol. :D

 

[mavsfan4life]

[MENTION=6717]pdolphin27[/MENTION] LOL

 

[2BullyMama]

 

[ChrisRN]

Love it!

 

[Rural mystic]

You asked. It's old and worn out but the simple joke is in the form of Q&A which you probably have all heard but may not hold up for all bulldogs which is. "Why does a dog lick his balls?" "Because he can."

 

[bullmama]

Lol!


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[ChrisRN]

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".

 

[dolphin]

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".

hahahahahahahaha!!! I like that one!

 

[RachaelJ]

WOW, both jokes were tummy holding funny! LOL

 

[Casper]

hahahahahahahaha!!! I like that one!

I don't have any Dog jokes I can remember right off, But here's a little bit of my hometown humor, From Southern Louisiana…. Hope you Enjoy…

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Louisiana recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a bayou well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the Cajun, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, Sir", replied the Cajun. "I ain't got none of dem der licenses, you confused, dese here are my pet fish"

"Pet Fish?" Asks the warden.

"Yeah, evry night, I take dese fish down to the lake, n let 'em swim 'round for a bit, then whistle, dey jump right back in the ice chess, and I take 'em home".

"That's a bunch of bull malarkey!!" Says the warden, "Fish can't do that!"

The Cajun looked at the warden for a moment and said "it's the truth mr. Government man. I'll sho yah it works!!"

"Ok" says the game warden "I've gotta see this"

The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and waited, after several minutes the warden says, "Well?"

"Well what?" Says the Cajun.

The warden says "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?" Answers the Cajun

" The FISH" replies the warden

"What Fish?" Answers the Cajun...................

Moral of the story: we may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
​

 

[mavsfan4life]

I don't have any Dog jokes I can remember right off, But here's a little bit of my hometown humor, From Southern Louisiana…. Hope you Enjoy…

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Louisiana recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a bayou well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the Cajun, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, Sir", replied the Cajun. "I ain't got none of dem der licenses, you confused, dese here are my pet fish"

"Pet Fish?" Asks the warden.

"Yeah, evry night, I take dese fish down to the lake, n let 'em swim 'round for a bit, then whistle, dey jump right back in the ice chess, and I take 'em home".

"That's a bunch of bull malarkey!!" Says the warden, "Fish can't do that!"

The Cajun looked at the warden for a moment and said "it's the truth mr. Government man. I'll sho yah it works!!"

"Ok" says the game warden "I've gotta see this"

The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and waited, after several minutes the warden says, "Well?"

"Well what?" Says the Cajun.

The warden says "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?" Answers the Cajun

" The FISH" replies the warden

"What Fish?" Answers the Cajun...................

Moral of the story: we may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
​

Lol....that's funny

 

[mavsfan4life]

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".

Lol

 

[Casper]

Sorry... It's all I got !!


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[Rachelle]

All so great! lol :D