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Hi Kelly, I'm so sorry for your loss of your baby Toby. I can't imagine what pain and sadness you and your family are going through. There are no words I can say to make it any better, only time will heal your grief. Everyone deals with grief differently, and in their own time, There is no time limit it's your journey and your healing. Right now it feels like your hurt will explode with sadness when you think about him, but one day that sadness will turn to a smile when you think about him and remember a memory or a story of Toby, then other days there will be tears again. Theses feelings are normal.