Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

[Manydogs]

What is this a new club? Stop felling sorry for yourselves. Pick yourselves up, brush yourselves off, and continue to march! HOOOAH!

Ahem [MENTION=11639]rjisaterp[/MENTION] I seem to notice that you are right here with us......

 

[Evilo]

It sounds like you are doing fine to me that man sounds like the problem not your dogs! But in his defence people who don't understand the breed are really afraid of them, but once they are on leads and under control it really is just his issue don't give it another thought. The amount of full grown men (in particular) that have asked us if our little 7 month old baby is aggressive is crazy to me little kids just come up and hug him and these full grown idiots are afraid.
We were in a pet shop with George the other day this middle aged man told my daughter that they were a very dangerous and she needed to watch out! George was just sitting there looking at him.
It's not you or your dogs it's other people, relax and walk your dogs when you want and where you want once they are leashed there's no problem.
Sorry I'm probably ranting but hearing about people like that man makes me angry.

 

[brutus77]

The reason for my post title is b/c I do at times feel like I'm not a good parent. (I can be rather self-critical and this is something I'm working on, believe me).

So last night I decide to take the boys out for a walk. This is something I have been VERY lax in during the past year. There would be days and days where I would not take the boys out on a walk. And then I'd wonder why Finn would get into fights with Tate. I know that exercise is very important for not only physical but also mental health benefits.

Anyway, we're walking last night when we approach this corner house. This eldely man walks out his front door and he has either a cane or a walker (it was dark so hard to really tell). At this point, Tate sees the man and goes ballistic! I mean, barking, lunging, just going nuts. Of course Finn has to get in on the excitement too so now I have two bulldogs who are lunging and barking and acting wildly out of character towards this elderly man. Meanwhile, I'm literally dragging both boys, trying to get the HECK out of there and round the corner so we could just disappear out of this man's sight! It took a couple minutes but I did manage to drag them away and I hear the man yelling. I think he said something like, "This is terrible...!" or something like that. As we finally round the corner, away from the man and his house, Tate is running as fast as he can and he keeps looking backwards as if he's totally SPOOKED! The remainder of the walk consisted of both Tate and Finn walking as fast as they could, and acting very much "on alert", jumping at every little noise.

I remember this elderly man from a year or so ago. We passed by him once before as he was taking out the trash and Tate did bark at him then too, and I do recall the man holding up his cane (or walker) and yelling out at Tate. That interaction was very brief however and I just recall the man being weird.

This time it was more intense, like Tate just sensed some negative energy.

So why am I sharing this story and telling you that I feel "inadequate". I guess I feel like I haven't raised two of the most well behaved bulldogs and I also know they both can still use some more training in being more social. Finn doesn't get along with other dogs, and mostly only tolerates Tate. I know that's how some dogs are. I also know I'm still a work in progress and have much to learn when it comes to animals. I think I tend to compare myself to other dog parents and think everyone else has "got it all together" so much more than I do when it comes to our dogs!
Thanks for listening!

No matter how much you train them they still tend to act out sometimes. If Tate sensed something off about the man, he was doing what he should and that is protect you. And as far as everyone else having it all together is just crap.Most of the time the perfect people are worse off than you think A rule I live by is, perfect does not exist.Give yourself a break and know you are doing a good job.

 

[cali baker]

Wow, thank you, EBN family. For your honesty and for your openness. It feels good to know that we really are all in the same boat (or similar boats).
[MENTION=8741]Manydogs[/MENTION], thank you for continuing to recognize my Duct-tape-talents. Helps ease the pain whenever I look at my once-beautiful-leather sofa that was less than 2years old before I had to give it a duct-tape-makeover!

Roger [MENTION=11639]rjisaterp[/MENTION], no sitting on my butt and feeling sorry for myself here! Today I took the boys to the Rose Bowl where the field was WIDE OPEN and we enjoyed romping and rolling there, having the place all to ourselves at 8 in the morning! Yes it was 37 bone-chiling degreesbut the sun was out and we were happy.

 

[Canelospeeps]

Have you talked to the elderly man alone? Is he OK? You may work it out that things were miss understood and work with that man to make his day and the boys get a bonus for it. He may be excited to see your pair and want to give them a pat, some love.

I say this because most reactions we get to our EB Canelo is like he's a rockstar or movie star! Some just want to pet him, some to pet him and a pic with an EB, those are the most common and once done they are happy, smiling and gone. Canelo loves the attention. If you pass this man on your route, is it possible you are giving him something? If it's positive, no negative then yay.

Regardless you are a great EB parent. I have Canelo trained to accept pets and love from people, mainly children. Canelo loves. The attention and so do his letters.


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[CCandMurray]

[MENTION=1904]cali baker[/MENTION] one small step for you and Tate and Finn, one huge step for bullykind!!!

 

[RiiSi]

I'm sure we all have feelings like that at times and I'm sure we all could do better. We do our best, that I'm sure of also. I'm no dog whisperer and my guys have a mind of their own and although mostly well behaved they are really wild and out of control when people come to our house. They are so excited and happy to see people that it's a riot.

 

[Corine Pesantes]

Don't feel bad! We all see other people and there wonderful stories about their babies and think "wow! They've got it all together!" But we've all had those days where were stressed, feel horrible for not thinking that we are doing enough, she'd a few or a lot of tears (especially when mine were puppies- double trouble!). But at the end of the day, we love them deeply and try to do our best for them! You take it one day at a time! Your a great bully mom simply bc of the fact that you feel this way! I'm sure they are in a much better home then most places! Pat yourself on the back for having 2 bullies that are loved and well taken care of!


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[punky]

my dogs go psychs too when someone comes close to our fence with a dog.. i don't like how they act but part of me think it is because they are protecting their territory because when they are out on a walk and see other dogs there is not any problems.. what makes me mad though is when the person coming close to our fence will stop and make matters worse.. like they want a problem.. i once told a guy if he would just keep walking my dogs would stop.. i know i was rude but after him doing it so many times it happened on the wrong day.. lol..

 

[cefe13]

I'm glad we are not perfect dog parents - had that been the case, EBN wouldn't have been this cornucopia of insight, advice, and discussion!

 

[Goob14]

The reason for my post title is b/c I do at times feel like I'm not a good parent. (I can be rather self-critical and this is something I'm working on, believe me).

So last night I decide to take the boys out for a walk. This is something I have been VERY lax in during the past year. There would be days and days where I would not take the boys out on a walk. And then I'd wonder why Finn would get into fights with Tate. I know that exercise is very important for not only physical but also mental health benefits.

Anyway, we're walking last night when we approach this corner house. This eldely man walks out his front door and he has either a cane or a walker (it was dark so hard to really tell). At this point, Tate sees the man and goes ballistic! I mean, barking, lunging, just going nuts. Of course Finn has to get in on the excitement too so now I have two bulldogs who are lunging and barking and acting wildly out of character towards this elderly man. Meanwhile, I'm literally dragging both boys, trying to get the HECK out of there and round the corner so we could just disappear out of this man's sight! It took a couple minutes but I did manage to drag them away and I hear the man yelling. I think he said something like, "This is terrible...!" or something like that. As we finally round the corner, away from the man and his house, Tate is running as fast as he can and he keeps looking backwards as if he's totally SPOOKED! The remainder of the walk consisted of both Tate and Finn walking as fast as they could, and acting very much "on alert", jumping at every little noise.

I remember this elderly man from a year or so ago. We passed by him once before as he was taking out the trash and Tate did bark at him then too, and I do recall the man holding up his cane (or walker) and yelling out at Tate. That interaction was very brief however and I just recall the man being weird.

This time it was more intense, like Tate just sensed some negative energy.

So why am I sharing this story and telling you that I feel "inadequate". I guess I feel like I haven't raised two of the most well behaved bulldogs and I also know they both can still use some more training in being more social. Finn doesn't get along with other dogs, and mostly only tolerates Tate. I know that's how some dogs are. I also know I'm still a work in progress and have much to learn when it comes to animals. I think I tend to compare myself to other dog parents and think everyone else has "got it all together" so much more than I do when it comes to our dogs!
Thanks for listening!

I totally know how you feel. Goob doesn't tolerate other dogs or other people besides my immediate family. He acts aggressive or defensive with EVERYONE. So much so that we have to muzzle him at the vet just as a precaution. The vet actually gave me the eye and said, "I've never known a bulldog that needed a muzzle before." I felt like such a failure. Most comments like that don't bother me but when people comment on how "unfriendly" he is for a bulldog, I wonder where I went wrong.

He is who he is and we will always keep working with him. I do get sad that other people can't enjoy him like I can. I think in some areas we all have that "failure" feeling. Sometimes I ask myself if I did anything wrong and if I trained him to be aggressive somehow but I'll never really know for sure.

 

[Izzy's Mom]

Girl, you are just fine!!!! As you can tell by now we all struggle with different aspects with our fur babies and somehow we all share a little guilt feeling too.... I am the same way with Izzy. Always feel guilty I don't do more for her... walk her more... bring her more to the park.... spend more time with her....

Your babies are just fine.... I think Izzy would have reacted the same way. But I know what you are feeling and I feel your pain. My boyfriend always comment on Izzy.... almost like he hasn't fully understood the breed yet.... so it sounds like he is judging her. Izzy will not chase a squirrel... she couldn't care less! Izzy is funny... loving... weird... scared... OCD but I love her a lot and to me she is perfect! I know ebd are different... special like we all like to say!

But we are here to give you support and to tell you both your babies think you are the best mom ever!!!!!! And I am sure they love you a lot!!!