question

[Twice]

I've been steaming over this for an hour already. I can't get it out of my head.

10:00 this morning, I'm outside playing with the dogs & trying to do some yard work. OK, more playing - less yard work but you get the picture

A workman comes into the neighbors yard to replace a window. I've gotten most of the crazy barking under control but this was obviously a stranger with power tools that they had never seen, making noises that they had never heard before. I rushed the dogs inside as quickly as I could. 5 minutes later my neighbor rings my doorbell. She asks me to keep my dogs inside until at least 11 or 12:00 on the weekends because her kids like to sleep in and the barking disturbs them. Her GROWN kids mind you, these aren't babies who need their naps.

I am livid over this. It was 10am, not 5am. They only started barking because someone came into HER yard that they did not know and was hammering, drilling and whatever else he was doing over there.

Am I wrong to be upset over this? If the dogs were out there barking before dawn I think she would have a right to complain. But 10am?

 

[jimmyjj]

Tell her do ( jog on )

 

[Tooleysmom]

Hi Bev. I would be furious too. Not sure about where you live but here we have noise bylaws and 10 am is a perfectly civilized time for your dogs to be out. And if they bark sometimes well -that is what dogs do. Especially when something is unfamiliar. We hear lawnmowers early in the morning in the summer and snowblowers in the winter and it is all part of life. I seems like there is more going on with her because anyone in their right mind would not come over and make such a ridiculous request. (If my grown kids lived at home with me and slept all day I would be pretty frustrated.) And if you left you dogs out and they barked for hours I could see coming over to have a conversation. But you bring the dogs in when they bark a lot because something is not right- as we all do. I live in a neighbourhood where almost every house has a dog(s). We are sensitive to the idea that if our dogs bark for too long and are upset about something we bring them in for a bit. But we are also tolerant of each other and understand that dogs will bark - it is how they communicate. She is not having a conversation with you she is issuing a directive. That is just rude. Like you say she doesn't have wee babies that need their sleep these are grown children. I would suggest they buy earplugs for their grown up ears if the sounds of real life at 10 am are too much. They work like a charm. Sorry for the rant but this just irritated the heck out of me when I read about your neighbour. Shame on her.

 

[bullmama]

I would tell her to piss off and wake her kids up at a reasonable time. Lol


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[Tooleysmom]

I would tell her to piss off and wake her kids up at a reasonable time. Lol


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Yes that too. You have such a way with words.

 

[cslafferty]

I, to, would tell her to p*** off and the law would be on your side. But, I would keep a close eye on your dogs for THEIR safety. We lived in a subdivision full of families with young kids and pets, and we happened to live next door to a couple who didn't like either! He started throwing dog bones over the fence when he would come out to cut his grass, he said to keep my dog quiet (he never really barked much at all, and was only out to do his "business"). Of course, the dog quickly learned that if he saw the neighbor out he would bark and get a treat. So then the neighbor called the police because of my barking dog. The police questioned our other neighbors (who all loved Rocky) and then told the grouch that the problem wasn't with the dog but with hiim! Then the police told me to NEVER let my dog eat anything the neighbor happens to throw over the fence, because they've seen many animals poisoned like that! One evening I was outside shooting hoops with my three kids (6, 8, and 10 yrs.) in our driveway during summer vacation. It was 8:50pm, and I had told my kids 10 more min. and then it was time to go in. All of a sudden, mr. grouch comes out of his house, his face half shaven-half with shaving cream on it, picks up his garden hose and turns it on my kids and I!!! We called the police again, and they told him that what he did was a form of assault!! He left us alone after that, but it is no fun living next door to someone like that!! Good luck!

 

[giuseppe]

That's messed up. This lady is clearly insane. She probably wants them to sleep in so she doesn't have to deal with them herself. It's so screwy that she believes she has a valid enough case to come to your house and talk with you about it. What's worse is she is setting rules that will inevitably lead to more tension when you don't "comply". It also sounds like her kids are mamma's boys/girls and will likely stand behind her if things escalate. The last thing you want is this to turn into some petty little feud between your family and hers.

I would confront her right away. Let her know that you understand that kids of their age tend to sleep in, I mean, I did at their age, blah blah blah. Let her know that now that you are an adult with weekday responsibilities you will not be wasting the weekend hiding in your house until her babies are rested. See how it goes and play it by ear from there. Then put up a camera to make sure she doesn't mess with your dogs while they are out or throw anything over the fence for them when you're not around.

The reason I say all this, is because I got into a feud with my neighbors whose yard butted up against the back of mine. I caught their grown kids who were living with them reaching over the fence stealing tomatoes from my garden. Their embarrassment for being caught doing something so damn petty started this 5 year long fight between us, until I moved. Not the homeowners, the kids. They would leave their rottweiler out in the yard to bark the whole time I had people over and when I didn't respond to that, they started throwing trash in my yard. More petty stuff I could deal with, it was the fear they would throw something over that would hurt my pooch that worried me. I ended up mounting a camera and telling them it was there. Things got a little more tolerable after that but I wish it never escalated to that point. Funny thing is, I used to grow so many tomatoes that I gave them away all the time. If they wanted them all they had to do was say "hi, lots of 'maters you got there" and they would have filled up a bag for them.
All I'm saying is I would try to end it quickly. Cussing them out will just cause it to last longer and neighbor feuds are so freaking draining.

I just wanted to add, I'm no pushover. I put myself through school and paid my mortgage carrying kegs to the third floor of the Chicago Stadium for Bulls games and collecting for 2 bookies. Neighbor feuds are way more complicated than getting a gambler to pay his debts. Believe me.

 

[Davidh]

She got some nerve, whe nit was her repairman who caused all the ruckus in the first place. That's why I hate neighbors.

 

[Petra]

Dogs bark, that's just the way it is. If she doesn't like it she must just move to a neighborhood where dogs are not allowed.

 

[kim n the guys]

she needs to kiss off!!!!

 

[cowsmom]

oh bev i had a next door neighbor who was like that and it sucks. i would not try to fight with her but i would not let her dictate my activities in my own yard either. most places have a noise ordinance of like what time you can be noisey on the weekday and weekend. i would find out what time its ok to mow excetra and then if she comes over say well i realize this but the law says i can be out at 10am with my dogs so im sorry but that is when i will be out if i choose. if your kids want to sleep in perhaps some ear plugs or turn on a tv. just let her know ur not a pushover but like others said you dont want a neighbor fight if you can avoid it. yes bev id be really pissed n prolly would have told her to go well u know.

 

[cali baker]

I'll be nice here and just say you're neighbor is being a pain in the BUTT and pretty unreasonable! I agree w/what everyone else said. I know when i take the boys out to do their business at 6am they will on occasion bark at a squirrel or a strange noise. It just happens. Neighbors can be so much fun, can't they?!

 

[Twice]

Thank you!!! There was this voice in the back of my head telling me that I was being unreasonable. I try to be neighborly as much as I can. I realize that her husband and son work nights so I try to not let them out before 7 just in case they bark at something. I also make sure that I stand out there with them at that time to stop them in case they bark at something. I don't know what her daughter does but when I say GROWN KIDS I'm talking late 20's/early 30's.

I tried explaining to her that I pay just as much taxes as she does and I believe that I have a right to use my yard at reasonable times. I also pointed out that the law defines those reasonable times as 7am to 10pm. She just snorted at me and walked away.

 

[bluesteelapd]

wow! Sounds like she's got some LAZY A$$'d kids! Get outta here, keep your dogs quite at freakin 10am? I really would be standing there gobsmacked and unable to speak. I'm so sorry this happened!

 

[ChrisRN]

I'd be angry too. I don't know anything about your neighbor other than what you've told us, but there are some psych nurses on these boards who might tell you to be careful because there are some people with anger issues who might attempt to harm your family or your dogs. I think you are being smart to stay with them when they're out. I had a neighbor who complained to our homeowner's association that my dog's barking at 5:30 am was waking her up. The dog was in the house, barking at the garbage truck, who was hauling off the dog's "treasures.". However, her cat was allowed to roam the neighborhood freely and tore up my shrubs and dismembered birds on my front lawn. We were thrilled when they moved.