For those of you that pray...

[KMARINO]

Please I need a big hug and some support, My son is 26 and a Heroin addict, He shoots up. I am sitting here in tears, he is trying to seek help, not that I think he wants it, but because he has burnt all bridges, he lived with me a year ago for about a year until he stole all my jewelry and my car, and almost destroyed my new marriage.

I am just so sad and crying right now, He says he wants help, but I have heard that for to many years, I am so crushed right now, I have not given him a dime for almost a year, even though he calls and says he is starving I will order him a pizza and send it, NO money.

I know I sound like all is cool, and you all know how much I love my Vegas, but inside my heart is breaking, and I am at such a loss!! Here"s how bad it is and how bad I am hurting, I am posting this on the site that I love.

If you Pray, Please pray for my son his name is Brandon, he graduated with honors, lettered in every sport, had scholorships to any college he wanted and is the smartest person I know. He was raised right, he just made a bad decision that lead him down this path. I know he is an addict, I just want my son back! Just throwing this out there as I am sitting here bawling my eyes out once again.

 

[Bella'sMom]

Kelly, I hope he finds his way and gets help. Prayers will be sent your way. Even if he doesn't get the help he needs, you may want to talk to someone in person who has gone through this. I am sure there are support groups for parents. How hard it is to see your child in such pain, but you also do not want to help him to the point he continues his habit. Please know we are all here, but I hope you can find someone local that can guide you through this. You are a great mom, he was raised so well. His past is a reflection of that!

 

[Telly03]

The important thing is that he acknowledged that he needs help. Unfortunately it takes more than that though, it takes an incredible amount of strength, determination, courage and emotional support from loved ones to follow through... is there a treatment facility in your area that you can get him in while he is in the mindset that he needs help? I'm hoping that he finds the strength to follow through with his desire to find help, just as much for you as him, as I feel it's the loved ones that suffer as much or more in ways as the person fighting the addiction. Your doing the right thing by not providing money... just need to steer him to some treatment. Wish I could give you a hug right now, cause I know you need it.

 

[TessaAndSamson]

Aww Kelly I am so sorry. I can't imagine how painful this is for you. I really hope he finds the strength in himself to make the decision to really get help. Many prayers and hugs go out to you, your son and your family.

 

[bfletch13]

Oh wow I was expecting that someone was not feeling good
or something along those lines. This is awefull. I'm usually not
one of those guys that doesn't know what to say but I really don't.

I have never had to deal with any drug addiction in my family. I was
a police officer for awhile and I know that Heroin is vary very bad thing.
I can't even imagine what is going on in your mind and in your heart. As
much as we love our Bullies I know we love our kids even more.

I do pray and will be praying for you and your son. Will go to Mass in the
morning and light a candle for Brandon. This will come around and things
will get better. God has always helped me in ways I couldn't always see.
Not to be cliche but everything happens for a reason. The reason may not
be right in front of us but they will in there time show themselves.

Brandon will come threw this I have no doubt. It just may take time or
even getting in to trouble. I hope that isn't the case. I think you are definitely
doing the right thing by not giving him money. If you make it comfortable
for him to be in this situation then there is no need to change.

I wish I had some magic statement that could make you feel better. But I don't.
The only thing I can say is that even though I don't know you, you and your
family are in my heart and in my prayers. Don't feel like you are in this alone,
your not we all are here for you. And if you ever need to talk I'm sure that anyone
of us at any hour day or night will lend you and ear.

If you need anything don't be afraid to ask. We are family here.

 

[Gertie's Mom]

Kelly, I am so very sorry to hear this. You and Brandon will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Libra926]

Wow Kelly, yet another thing we have in common. I will pray with everything I have that Brandon get the help he says he wants. I understand and support you shutting him off. An addict is an addict. They are consumed by the only thing that gets them thru the day..drugs. My first thought when reading your post is "Oh please, please, please stay strong. Do not let him in." My fear would be him stealing and selling Vegas for his next high. Jewelry and a car are hard enough to deal with...but your baby. Stay strong and know that prayers are coming your way.

My mom-n-law is an alcoholic. She hit rock bottom and still was able to to sink lower. She was using us for money month after month. She wasn't able to pay her rent. She needed money for her utility bill. Her car battery was stolen. She needed money for food. She needed money for a Dr appt. She needed to be bailed out of jail. It kept going on and on. Finally, she ended up in court. Court mandated her into rehab. 6 months. She lost her appt. Her job. She lost respect. She could no longer deny she had a problem. We dropped her off at rehab and picked her up 6 months later. She has been sober for almost 4 years.
There is hope. So I pray for your strength and I pray that hope and help find your son. Stay strong.
Muah to you.
Muah to your son.
Muah Muah Muah to Vegas. One from each of us.

 

[gatorfan85]

Oh Kelly I am so sorry hun. Both my sister and brother are addicts. My sister was a cocaine addict and my bother is a meth addict. My brother is 32 lost his wife, son and his family but still continues to do drugs. He had a baseball scholarship and was in the army but it all fell apart. He is 33 and the last time i saw him was over a year ago when i gave him money for gas and ciggs and being an idiot i asked him to get $40 off my card for me. He took the $40 plus $80. I havent talked to him since. My sister finally cleaned up after being an addict since she was 17 and she is now 30. Rehabs, therapy and none of this helped, she lost her kids went to jail, spent a year in prison and had nothing. 2 year ago she met a guy...thru an unsavory means and he turned out to be her savior. She has been clean almost 2 years and now she reflects on the things she did throughout the years. I tried since i was 9 to help my sister and nothing i did could help her. She now has an uncurable disease from years of drug use and unprotected sex but she is a better person now even though it took something horrible to make her that way. My family has been thru what u are exp and I know the pain. We will pray for your son and your family and if u ever need anything I am here.

 

[bullmama]

Kelly I am so sad that your are hurting like this. We will pray for Brandon tonight that he finds the light.

My brother was a drug addict and a severe alchoholic. When he would call me once a month, he usually needed a 'mental high'. He would tell me how he has not drank in 3 days, being sober is great, blah blah blah, he was going to quit, ect. Then he would go and drink again.

After seeing my neighbor go through the same with her son, she told me much about the mind of the alcoholic and how she was 'enabling him'. Just by being there when he needed her. So she did the hardest thing a mother could ever do. She talked to him and explained to him that she was no longer going to talk to him or take his calls, she would no longer enable him by being his support line.

Once she did this, about one month later he was on the streets. No apartment, no food. He was ready. He checked into a free clinic. He did not call his mom. He called her and asked her to come pick him up when he was released. She had no idea any of that had happened to him.

I realized that I was doing 'mental' enabling for my brother. When he would call, I would give him the praise he needed to make it through. Once I realized what I was doing, the next phone call was not quite the same. When he told me he was going to quit drinking, I called him a liar. When he told me "WTF?" I told him not to call me again until he was ready to be truthful.

I also had my mother and brother (who were still ready to listen to his lies) not on my side with this. So I had to tell my brother to quit lying to his family, his mother, his father, everyone.

He checked himself into rehab and has been sober for 3 years. He is 40 years old. He has also become a heavy christian, which was something he never paid any attention to. He is now a sponsor for AA.

My point is, this too will pass. But you MUST be strong. I know you are. I cannot even imagine how you are feeling right now. My children mean the world to me, and it breaks my heart to see you go through this.

 

[cali~jenn]

Oh my gosh I have no words of wisdom since I havent been thru this myself. I do agree with everyone else tho, you are right by not helping with money etc. I know they do have to hit rock bottom before they can heal themselves and hopefully that day will be soon for your son. I cannot imagine what it is to be a parent and see your kid hurting so much. I am crying for you and believe me, we are all here for you to vent and lean on when you need. Please stay strong, your son will need you when he pulls thru this to the other side. It can and does happen and I will be keeping you in my thoughts!

 

[KMARINO]

I want to thank each and every one of you for the words of support and understanding, I have been a mess last night and today, I feel a huge black cloud above my head and such a heavy heart, he can not go to treatment because he has No insurance and is living in Ohio bouncing around from aunts, uncles, grandmothers, etc. I had to kick him out about a year ago after my new husband and I spent thousands out of our savings to send him to a treatment center because he had no insurance and the day we picked him up we went to bed that night only to wake up and find my car and him missing, he stayed in a crack house for a couple of days and of course used, I put him back on a plane to Ohio to go back to his dad's who eventually kicked him out again.

He has been homeless, broke, dirty, ate up with absesses from shooting up, starving, sleeping in his car, yet ALWAYS had his drugs, When will he ever hit bottom??? My only regret is not pressing charges when he stole my car and put him in jail, Prison is better than death to me.

I sit and cry my eyes out thinking of what a handsome young man he was that graduated with honors, lettererd in every sport, had full scholorships to any college he wanted and he chose to stick a needle in his arm, now he is the 26 year old, dirty looking, has numerous open sores all over his body, homeless man that he has turned in to. Please keep him in your prayers. Again thank you all for your undying support!

 

[Lacey28]

I am sitting here reading all of these stories absolutely broken hearted. I have to say I am so sorry for what you have been going through. That has to be so hard to see someone you love so much hurt himself. I will be saying prayers for you and your family. I can only send my love and support and hope for things to get better.

 

[LariP]

Prayers of strength and healing from here too. Hugs.

 

[sheila]

wow! kelly, i just read this thread. i always forget to read the posts in not bulldog talk.

i will pray for you and your son. i can't imagine how hard it is to see someone with so much potential careen down the worst path and for you to be powerless to stop them. I know it breaks your heart and that makes me sad for you. you are doing the right thing by cutting him off. you just need to stay strong. i can't really give you advice, but i can always listen!

my dad and my half sister are both addicts. my dad was a raging alcoholic for years, he also smoked marijuana and did coke. he sobered up in '85, two years after he "mail ordered" my mom from the philippines. i was born in '86 and he stayed sober until '98. he started drinking again, switching out coffee in the morning for a natural ice. then it was full blown drinking, smoking pot, opium, traveling to juarez to buy coke, heroin, and pills, along with visiting mexican hookers. my dad just got worse and worse and worse. i would watch him cook and shoot up, cut lines, and vomit all over the house from being so drunk. he'd beat the hell out of my mom while i listened or watched from the next room. His rock bottom was in '99 when he blew his brains out in front of my sister who was renting a house across the street from us. After seeing that, my sister became an alcoholic and is addicted to coke and heroin and has dabbled with meth. she has hepatitis c now, but that still isn't her rock bottom. By God's grace my half brother and I aren't addicts, but I think that would be different if i was in front of my dad when he chose to die.

I really hope for your peace and your son's health that he can come out of this. it may take incarceration, and considering the nature of addiction, i'm hoping he steals something big enough to get himself committed. he'll be forced to get clean and recover and hopefully find the solace he was seeking in drugs, in God instead. He is still so young and he is better than this!

What about "intervention"? i know you said he is super smart, so i don't know if he could be tricked into doing a documentary about addiction, but i guess it would be worth a shot. and a&e can pay for treatment.

Well, i love you, along with the rest of your family here. We'll always be here for you, sending love and prayers your way!

 

[Angelgirl]

I don't get down here enough and just saw this also. I'm so very sorry for all you are going through. It's so hard seeing someone you love being so self destructive and feeling so helpless. I'll say a prayer for you and Brandon .