Ok so I have really been doing better the last week or so. A lot less crying. I am still sad and I miss him horribly but it gets a bit better each day . Well Dozer's bday is October 4th and Idk what that is going to bring. We had planned to have a big party for him. Now I don't get to do anything for him and it breaks my heart that I never got to give my boy a party or watch him grow up.