My Biggest Regret...

[dolphin]

It wasn't your fault Trace, I'm right there with you as tomorrow it will be exactly 2 years since our Mickey went to the bridge, I blame myself every day. Thanks for posting this and Bella and Mickey are looking down right now with a huge smiles knowing we loved them.

 

[sheshistory]

I am so sorry but do try not to be so hard on yourself...it's a wonderful tribute to Bella's life that you are educating others!

I'm not sure if you know but I lost my first bulldog in a heat related death. I was SO mad at myself but, like you, I've tried to turn that anger into something good by warning others how quickly things can happen, despite our BEST intentions!

 

[cali baker]

Tracey, I know your heart is so heavy with the anniversary of Bella’s passing upon us. You need to know though, once and for all, that herdeath was not your fault. You did everything you thought you should do for her,doing the best you could. Do not beat yourself up for that b/c there’s no need.You’re a compassionate human being but right now you need to practice some compassionupon yourself. Bella knows how much youloved her and that you did the best for her.

 

[ddnene]

Thanks guys… I knew that if I opened up my heart on here, that you guys would understand. And I LOVE YOU all for it!!!

 

[bullmama]

Tracey, this is so not your fault. Like Lynn says, many dogs get spayed right before during and right after heat. But their are vets that prefer to do thing in between for the less risk factor. You should be able to depend on your vet for making decisions regarding your pet, that's what they are there for!


I'm truly sorry Bella was lost and it may or may not have changed things, but I don't want to hear you place blame on yourself for one more second. I'm glad you told us how you felt so we could let you know how incredibly wrong you are. Forgive yourself, for Bella she wouldn't want you to feel this way surely more than we don't.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Ftse 100]

Tracey it was not your fault, I believe that us humans always try to blame ourselves when something goes wrong and we go through but what if's I have this same problem with my Mother I blame myself that she is no longer here for turning the life support of and I go through this emotion every year on the anniversary of her death and when I am feeling down even thou I know she would not have lived.

 

[Bazza]

[MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION] like everyone here, you need to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself, it is not your fault at all, IF you had known the outcome you would not have done it, IF you had known the risks you would not have done it, actually untill I read this post I had no idea that spaying on heat had more risks. So thank you.
There is no doubt that you loved Bella and all your babies.
Thinking of you and lots of hugs for the anniversary of Beautiful Bella x

 

[Ftse 100]

Tracey [MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION] since reading this thread this morning I was thinking back and I am positive I had my Pug Tei-Arnna spayed when she came into heat too I too did not know that is was a risk.

 

[Opie CHL]

There are so many things I wouldn't do now since being on EBN...you love and learn...don't beat yourself up...you've been through enough.

 

[Mia Amor]

One year ago today we lost our Bella… it was one of the worst days of my life To make matters worse, I feel that I have to come clean about what happened to her… you see I'm partially to blame. I agreed to have her spayed while she had just started her heat, I had NO idea of the dangers. That is until a week later when I came on this forum, and to my HORROR I realized I had made a HUGE mistake I also made another HUGE mistake, 100% trusting in my vet… at the time I thought that Dr. Whitley was GOD when it came to my babies. BOY was I wrong…

A year ago my son had JUST graduated from high school, and I was having SEVERE pain… a kidney stone that had been bothering me since the beginning of the year. I had to schedule surgery to remove the damn thing, and of course my husband was scheduled to leave for work for several weeks. The day of Logan's graduation Bella started spotting… the timing couldn't of been worse. I could barely bend over I was in so much pain… I called the vet to see if I could go ahead and have her spayed. I actually had Roxie spayed during her heat, and she was fine… of course she wasn't an EB. Dr. Whitley assured me that Bella would be fine, and in my mind I figured that the rest of the week my hubby could take care of me & Bella while we recovered from our surgeries, and before he left for weeks. I couldn't even comprehend what had happened when he called me… it was horrible. When I realized my mistake, I was SO ANGRY… with myself, and Dr. Whitley. What's funny is that I always GOOGLE everything, especially when it concerns my kids or pets… and this time I didn't because I was in so much pain and looped up on Loratabs. Regardless, this was MY fault… and I take full responsibility for it.

I learned some valuable lessons, NEVER spay a female in heat NO matter what your vet promises. And always trust your gut and question your damn vet… they may think they can perform miracles, truth is they can't. Own UP to your mistakes… don't try to hide behind them. I can't change what happened to Bella, but putting this out there might save another baby from the same mistake.

View attachment 72745 View attachment 72746 View attachment 72747 RIP my sweet girl… I'm so sorry that I made such a careless mistake, I so wish that I could change what happened but I can't

That was very sweet and brave. That made me cry. You can see and hear in your words how hurt you are over it till this day. I'm very sorry to hear that he made it seem ok. Thank you for telling your story there are a lot of new bulldog owners like me with a girl and with out your story I would have never known before hand. Like they say knowledge is power and you now have saved a lot of girl bulldogs from going under. Thank you for sharing and bless your baby girl Bella.

Sent from S4 (Mia)

 

[Baxter Tiberius]

[MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION]

Based on your description it sounds like it wasn't even 1% your fault.

1) You didn't know. Therefore not your fault.
2) You usually Google, but this time you didn't due to meds and pain. Therefore not your fault.
3) You trusted your doctor, like you're supposed to be able to. Therefore not your fault.

There's nothing to own up to. You were a character in the story of what happened. Not the cause of what happened.

 

[ddnene]

That was very sweet and brave. That made me cry. You can see and hear in your words how hurt you are over it till this day. I'm very sorry to hear that he made it seem ok. Thank you for telling your story there are a lot of new bulldog owners like me with a girl and with out your story I would have never known before hand. Like they say knowledge is power and you now have saved a lot of girl bulldogs from going under. Thank you for sharing and bless your baby girl Bella.

Sent from S4 (Mia)

Thank you for your sweet words Yvette… that is my HOPE that I can at least save one baby from the same fate.

 

[ddnene]

@ddnene

Based on your description it sounds like it wasn't even 1% your fault.

1) You didn't know. Therefore not your fault.
2) You usually Google, but this time you didn't due to meds and pain. Therefore not your fault.
3) You trusted your doctor, like you're supposed to be able to. Therefore not your fault.

There's nothing to own up to. You were a character in the story of what happened. Not the cause of what happened.

Thank you Kevin… you put this in simple terms, and it does make sense

 

[Vikinggirl]

Aww Tracey, stop beating yourself up for what happened to Bella, this is absolutely not your fault. You did everything you could for Bella, and you trusted the advice of your vet that she would be okay. You are not a vet, and could not know that this was dangerous. You trusted what your vet said, and did the surgery thinking that this was best for her, and the right thing to do. You could not have known that something would happen, and you had spayed Roxie with no problems, so you thought it was going to be okay. Please forgive yourself, you would never have done anything to hurt your baby, it was just a very sad and tragic thing that happened, and nothing that you did. I hope you stop blaming yourself, and feeling guilty, Bella knows you loved her.

 

[Pati Robins]

Hun , i know it is easier to say than done but you need to stop taking the blame (partial or not) for what happened -on the end of the day you trusted your vet judgment and sadly things dont work out-i also believe that things happen for a reason -and looked like angels wanted your sweet baby with them .
What makes me sad is the fact that you have an awful year and i hope and pray that things will improve for you xx
We all love you Tracey xxx