Hello Everyone/Support Needed Please

[ChanelBrutus]

Hi All! It's Rosemarie, Chanel and Brutus here!!! I know have 2 kids Gianni (3) and Victoria (9mnths) It has been a very long time since I have been here! A lot has changed and even more is changing. I need some support as we go through one of the hardest decisions I will have to make.

Brutus is my 5 year old bulldog who I love beyond words. He is my heart and soul! We have had some behavior issues with him for about 3 years now. It has gotten worse and he attacked my husband the other night He bit him and broke skin He has become so protective of me and almost went after my oldest son who is 3. We made the most difficult decision to rehome him through a rescue I don't know how to do this! I have to surrender him next Tuesday when she comes to pick him up! How do I do it? I know it's best for all of us! I failed him! I should have set better boundaries and rules to stop bad behavior! Instead I treated him like a baby and I ultimately made his anxiety and aggression worse!

How do I handle Chanel who is almost 10 and lost without her best friend! We took Brutus to the vet for a checkup and Chanel cried the whole time he was gone. In 5 years they have never been apart not even 10 mins!

 

[JennieS]

Oh my goodness, i can feel your sadness in your writing. I do not have any advice on how to handle it cause honestly, i would be a complete mess. When we first got our Brutus I sent him back to rescue after one day because he bit our cat, but i ended up bringing him back with us.
You have probably exhausted all your options and I'm just so sorry you and your family have to go through this, but you have to do what is best for them and for Brutus, as hard as it may be. You have NOT failed him

I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of prayers.

 

[2BullyMama]

Rosemarie! So happy you are back and the family congratulations on the baby girl... you must share pictures of them!

With so many changes and all the additions to the house Brutus needs a lot of boundaries and structure. If I remember right, he was always somewhat anxious and bonded to you. Have you brought in any trainers to help get him settled or are you/hubby past that point? Do you think he can be trained and if yes, o you both have the time to commit to doing the training? If either of you are scared or nervous then training would be difficult and Brutus will eventually return to being anxious. Thing is you have to keep the safety of your children at the forefront and of he can not be trusted with them, you have then made the best decision you can. Giving him to rescue and getting him in the right home so he can thrive is the most loving thing you can do.

As for Chanel, all this breaks y heart for you, but hopefully she will be OK after a few days or weeks and she will rebond with you and your babies. take her for walks, keep her occupied and included in family things in the home. she will be depressed for awhile but should come around.

BIG @SS hugs sweetie
xoo

 

[oscarmayer]

From reading your post it's VERY obvious that you love your bullies. What's done is done...and this is a tough lesson learned...or is it? There's no proof that you caused this. Could you have stopped it from progressing? Maybe, maybe not. Chanel will adapt in time and you will also. Hopefully Brutus will quickly find a home where he can be properly managed. Sometimes a change of scenery can be a good thing.

The good in all of this is that he only nipped your husband and neither of your children were injured. You have made the right decision so do not dwell on whether re-homing is in the best interest of all concerned.

Concerning your thinking that you failed him...I say...maybe you did, maybe you didn't...nobody can predict how any Bulldog will react to love and affection. Some(most) dogs do fine, others may not and consequently will set up what we call a "Mommy Zone". When another dog or person enters that zone, it's not uncommon for a dog to lash out protecting what it regards as his/hers. I cannot tell you anything that will make surrender any easier...it's NOT going to be easy. You've already made this decision based on common sense and the absolute necessity to protect your family...and to give Brutus the best shot at finding a suitable home.

I recommend that you have your husband with you when you sign the papers...you'll need all the support you can get.

 

[brutus77]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I also have a very anxious Brutus. We opted to put him on Prozac and it has made him a different dog. His anxiety is very well managed and his aggression from the anxiety is really non-existent. This is also coupled with constant reminders of the behavior we expect from him. Anyway, I am sure you exhausted all your options and your last choice was rescue. It is a very difficult decision, but I can tell you from experience that Brutus will be ok. We adopted our Frankie from rescue. He was 2 1/2 when we picked him up from his former family. They did not know how to train him or handle him at all and it made him very unhappy and hard to control. Frankie is a very happy and well adjusted bulldog today and most of his issues are gone. I think if you think about Brutus going to a family that do not have small children, and can really train him, he will be a happier dog and better behaved. The rescues really make sure the dogs go to a good home that really fit the personality of the dog. Chanel will adjust in time. Give her lots of loving and she will be ok. Again, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Hugs to you!

 

[RiiSi]

I'm so sorry this is happening, but you're also doing this for him (and you) to be happy and you to be safe. If you don't see any other way to accomplish that then it's the only right and only thing to do, no matter how much it hurts. Chanel will miss him, but she will be ok. Dogs live in a moment and she might even love all the attention she gets. Be strong. Hugs.

 

[ChanelBrutus]

Thank you all so much for the positive thoughts!

I know this will be the best for him and he deserves it. He is the best friend I could have asked for! I love my Chanel but Brutus hold a special place in my heart! we have tried everything we could to stop the behavior but it's not helping! He is a different dog when I'm not around I know he will thrive in his new home and the woman fostering him has extensive bully knowledge and she thinks he will be a foster failure. Either way she will continue to keep me updated as long as I want (forever) he is supposed to be leaving on Tuesday and I don't know how I am going to do this Crazy as it sounds I feel like my child is being taken away I know you all understand the feeling and that's why I came running back

 

[Texas Carol]

Oh, my dear friend, I can't help these tears from welling up as I feel your heart (& Hubby's) break ;(

I know this for sure, if there's anything to be done to avoid this, y'all would. All of us would be blaming
ourselves but it's wrong doing so. We all spoil these bulldogs rotten, if we have no kids or they are grown,
even more so...THEY are our kids! None of us know our future, and what a blessing NOT to, WHO could
bear to know some of them?

Two different friends have had to put their bulldogs at peace (both males) one raised from 10 weeks old
& 5 yrs old when he attacked her Hubby & put him in the ER. No triggers or warning, Hubby was watching
TV & Tubbs just jumped up on the bed & went for him. The other bully was a rescue, just him & his Dad.
His behavior just kept escalating & same thing, he went into a red zone rage & put his Dad in the ER. These
were recent and I'm still grieving for the people & these beloved bullies. If everything tried hasn't worked,
including medications, there is no choice, NONE AT ALL.

I'm hoping y'all haven't tried Prozac yet and he's nowhere near a red zone dog so...praying now for all in
your home. Sending hugs of comfort, hope & peace in whatever you & Hubby decide is best for your family,
human & furred. Trust in yourselves & God to take care of this, you'll know the answer. xoxoxo

 

[oscarmayer]

...behavior just kept escalating & same thing, he went into a red zone rage...

Adrenaline driven aggression is not always fixable...(not saying that that's what's going on with OP's bully). As much as Prozac may help to calm the subject, it also mutes the body language...that same language that one might see as a warning of imminent attack.
The most difficult part of rescue that I have ever experienced is having the strength to do the right thing when it comes to a sick or aggressive Bulldog. It breaks my heart every time. Thankfully, it's a very rare occurrence.

 

[Davidh]

So sorry this is happening, but you need to do what you think is right for all. Poor Chanel, she will miss her buddy for awhile, but should get over him with time, but some just don't.

 

[cali baker]

Hi Rosemarie, i've missed u! I'm so sorry about what's happening with Brutus. DO NOT blame yourself! you did not "fail" him! You did the best you could, Rosemarie, and now you continue to look out for his best interest. Sending you lots of love and prayers that everything will work out for Brutus, and for Chanel too.

 

[helsonwheels]

You have made the right decision. It hurts trust me it does and doesn't go away either. I had to put my German Shepherd down a year ago. He was train and all. It was my husband's baby as he would put it but..... he would let Major do what he wanted. As Major was getting older he was getting worse. He was 8yrs old. 115lbs all muscle and extremely powerful. I was the only one who could control him but was 24/7 mission and scanning all the time. He would see any dog any size, horse, cat, bird small children, his brain would be escalating and ready to attack and just rip them apart. He got 2 dogs like that. One dug under our fence and came in our yard. Dog got ripped open in 5 seconds. The day came when I was power walking with him 7a.m. and yes tight leash , never pass my left leg and opposite side was a mom exercising too but had a baby stroller. Major went for the stroller. That was it for me. 8 years of brain escalating is a red zone. Nothing to do. Not even training as I use to train and still do for my own pets. You cannot replace a child. Yours are very young. Bulldog's jaws are also powerful. I dont know you but from what ive read, you're a smart woman and a brave one. You came to the conclusion even though it breaks your heart, you put your family's safety first. Broke your husband's skin, well imagine a 3yr old and especially 9month old they have no chance. There's this old saying: You have to fail in order to practice being brave. As I said, you're a brave woman n mom. Brutus will be fine.

 

[Ftse 100]

Hi Rosemarie, I feel your pain and this is one topic close to my heart as a few here know FTSE has a aggression thing he is so over protective of me but lately he has snapped at me a few times and believe me it scares the hell out of me I just walk away but as for a baby or three year old they wouldn't have the chance too. FTSE seems to be getting worse the older he gets I blame myself have I let him get too close to me I am stern with him but I guess there are times we are not.

Is this a common thing with Bulldogs as lately I have heard this quite a bit.

Rosemarie I think you have made the right decision for the safety and peace of your family but it is one of the hardest things you will go through on Tuesday, sending prayers to you and your family that you get through this and Chanel handles it good.

 

[ddnene]

Rosemarie, I'm so glad to see you back on EBN, we have missed you... and congrats on the baby girl. We really need to see some pics!!!

Your story absolutely breaks my heart, we went thru a somewhat similar experience w/Walter not too long ago. He was very aggressive w/my husband, and occasionally me... we hired a professional dog trainer in Nashville to help us out. She gave us a checklist of things to do, and thankfully having him neutered made a world of difference for us.

Please do NOT beat yourself over re-homing Brutus... I LOVE my dogs, make NO mistake about it... they are like my children. BUT my skin family comes first... if my dogs attacked someone in this house they would have to go. You have two little kids in your home... they are your FIRST priority, and you being the wonderful mom that you are already know this. I can only imagine how difficult this will be for you, but I would do the same in your position.

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers... please don't be a stranger, we are here for you and the family!!!

 

[agingermom]

It is so good to see your face on here again!! I can't add anything to this post but . I am so sorry you are going through this but deep down you know the only choice if you have tried everything else.