Things to NOT say to someone

[cali baker]

I think it was yesterday when i came across an article online about comments to avoid in a conversation...i remember one of them was to not say the line, "Oh, you look so tired!"....instead say something like, "Are you feeling okay?"

Another one was, "You look good for your age!"...instead the writer suggests, "You look great!".

Well, let me add another...don't, and i mean, please don't ever say to me,
"You look good...you've put on weight"...b/c i will overlook the "you look good" part and focus on the "weight" part only! What a way to wrap up my Friday afternoon at work. Btw, this was said to me by a male colleague who I've worked with for the past 15years and who i genuinely like, but really!!! Now i feel like eating a donut

 

[Chunksmama]

Men just don't get it sometimes!!!

 

[LariP]

Maybe he thought you were too skinny before. Or he likes a woman with a little "cushion". Some men do.

 

[cali~jenn]

haha I agree with [MENTION=983]LariP[/MENTION] sounds like he thought you were too thin and now are perfect. I do agree men just dont know how to say the right things but take it as it was meant a compliment. Oh and enjoy a donut too haha

 

[Chunksmama]

Good point!

 

[cali baker]

See, I knew writing to you guys would help me straighten this out. I get a little ocd about these things
thanks.

and , [MENTION=390]cali~jenn[/MENTION], i decided on a choc. eclair instead...and it was deeeeeelicious!!!!!

 

[cali~jenn]

LOVE eclairs. Good for you!

 

[GatorRay]

Maybe he thought you were too skinny before. Or he likes a woman with a little "cushion". Some men do.

I was thinking this same thing.

 

[Lucy-licious]

[MENTION=1904]cali baker[/MENTION], I read this in a local newspaper over here in the UK a few months back and thought it would fit in here perfectly....this is for all those women who sometimes forget that stick thin ISN'T attractive.

(warning might be a bit long winded)


Why the guys just can't resist my squishy bits

By ANNE SHOOTER


Proud of her body: Anne Shooter fits the figure of Miss Average

A recent study of 100 Australian men revealed that men truly do prefer curvy, rounded women. Women they can hold and love and who love to eat. Thrilling news if like me you are in danger of holding onto your baby fat until he reaches university.

Women who are curvy all know about a very special cream. It keeps them looking young, feeling happy, and makes them irresistible to the opposite sex. Not only that, but it costs just a few pounds for a huge tub. It's name? Ice cream.

You see, the truth is that men like women who eat and have the curves to show it - and we curvy women know that men prefer us like that.

I am just about spot-on the vital statistics of the Miss Average who was identified in a new survey as being the dream woman for most men: 5ft 4in tall, a size 14 with a waist that hovers around 30in, rounded hips and a 36DD bust.

And you know what? I've never had any complaints from men about my looks. Far from it.

In fact, men have only ever commented positively about my eyes, smile, skin and breasts (obviously - they're only men, after all). But no man has ever called me fat.

In fact, when I have ever lamented my rather generous proportions, they have only ever given my bottom a good squeeze and told me not to be ridiculous.

The thing is, men can't help loving well-rounded women - those curves are a sign of fertility and they are genetically drawn to them because they signal that we will successfully conceive, carry and then nurture their offspring.

And quite frankly, who can blame them? I wouldn't want a load of elbows and ribs to cuddle in bed either. The squishy bits are way more fun.

The only people ever to have made unpleasant comments about my size are other women.

I've been told clothes are unflattering, asked whether I have considered trying the latest diet, and was recently asked if I have given up running while being looked up and down disparagingly.

And that's the nub of the matter. Thin women are skinny for other women - not for men.

They are skinny not to be sexy, but to be fashionable. They want to show other women they are controlled, cool, better in some way than the fatter, normal women around them.

I remember being in an Italian restaurant with a group of spectacularly skinny women once, and ordering a martini with olives to kick off proceedings.

As I went to pop the olives into my mouth, one of the skinny women said: 'Oh, are you not eating dinner?'

I was flabbergasted - but of course I ate the olives, and then went on to enjoy a delicious bowl of pasta while she picked miserably at a piece of grilled fish with steamed spinach.


Ditch the diet: Women who aren't hung up about what they eat are more attractive, says Anne

By the end of the evening, her boyfriend was feeding me mouthfuls of his tiramisu.

Simply put, a man does not want to be with a woman who puts her hand over her wine glass when offered a top-up because she's had her calorie allowance for the day.

He wants to be with someone fun, someone he can have a great night out with - and then take home for some more fun.

The very last thing he wants is someone too controlled and self-obsessed. He wants her to lose control - and be obsessed with him, not herself.

I am not talking about totally letting it go and becoming overweight and unhealthy - just about being an attractively rounded woman.

We 'average' women really do have better skin, too (of all the people I have ever met, Dawn French has the most incredibly, smooth, line-free skin) and men often comment on my lack of wrinkles when they hear I am 38 (and no, I haven't had - and will never have - Botox).

When women are skinny they lose their natural, voluptuous lustre, and their skin and hair suffer for it.

My curves are proof that my body is healthy - they are the result of producing two gorgeous children.

And it's not as if I'm totally out of shape. Actually, my body is fairly firm from the odd gym session and jog round the block and - without meaning to sound arrogant - I am rather proud of it.

I think of my curves as a sign that I am a good cook and take care of my family. (There's nothing maternal or nurturing about a skinny woman.)

My figure shows I'm lucky enough to enjoy a wonderful life, that I'm unpretentious, easy going and, ultimately, happy with my lot.

And, if I ever do have a slightly paranoid moment about my wobbly tummy, I remind myself what one gorgeous man told me a long time ago: 'Darling, no man ever cares about the size of a woman's belly, as long as her breasts are bigger.'