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I would need a visit at the vet for the obstruction Brutus would have from eating his shoes.
This made me laugh remembering when I first got Bulldozer and decided to buy him dog snow boots - they keep the ice and snow from getting in between the pads. We lived Maine at the time so you can imagine - it was cold as ...... Well I ordered some and got them in, all excited that he'd be able to run and play a little more in the snow and ice. NOPE - I would strap them on him and he would drop like a rock, feet up in the air and just make his chewbacca noises until I took them off. Sometimes he would just freeze on his back with his feet in the air. I tried once to bribe him into walking and he did the funniest "march" ever - lifting his feet as far off the ground as he could. "Goose stepping" over to the treat before flopping on his back again and assuming the dead deer stance. I still have the shoes - but never got him to agree to wear them and actually be a dog.