Venting - dispute with neighbors

[ddnene]

I've been through this.

Check this out - so the neighbor across the street from us was this 70+ year old lady who has lived in that house for 50 years or something. Her husband is a volunteer firefighter, very nice man. The lady is the HOA Block Captain for our block. She was a meanie. We would cut our grass and 5 minutes later she'd come knocking telling us our grass is still too tall. She hated my dogs because they bark when somebody comes to our door even if it's just the mailman and they "wake up the neighbors". Everybody in our block except for our next-door neighbor and us are retired people and are home all day everyday. She would complain about every little thing to do with the dogs - "You need a better handle on those dogs! They can't pee on my mailbox!", "They're going to bust through your door and kill us!".

Anyway, both our houses are at the end of the cul-de-sac and beyond the cul-de-sac is another street. One weekend, she planted a hedge on her side yard effectively blocking the view to the street beyond. And I kid you not, this 90+ year old woman comes out of her garage from a few houses down running creakily towards the Block Captain and SCRATCHED HER FACE UP for blocking the street view!!! My husband and I were just shocked to statue, it took us a while to run across the street to break the old-ladies fight up.

So, I learned a lesson that day - everybody has their own "quirkiness" and we either accept people for who and what they are or be miserable for the rest of our lives. Everybody has their own cross they're carrying, although they're all different. That day, I baked two of the yummiest cake I can muster and gave it to both of them. Since then, I visited them so many times just to check on them. There were several old ladies on the block we started checking up on as well. We were one of only 2 families under 70, and we were in our 20's - the next-door neighbor who is in his 50's is a paraplegic living on his own so we checked on him often too. My tall husband would go to their houses and check on their lightbulbs to see if anything needs changing because those creaky old women and the paraplegic can't do it themselves and their children seem to not come over to visit them at all.

When the Block Captain came over to the house to tell me our tree branch is extending to the other neighbor's yard so we have to cut down the branches (which practically cuts the tree in half), we smiled at her and walked with her to the next-door neighbor and asked them if they have a problem with the tree branches going over their yard and they said, no, they loved the branches because it gives some shade on their yard and we shouldn't cut it, so I smiled at the Block Captain and told her when our neighbor gets tired of the branches, I'll cut the tree down then asked her if she liked the new salon she told us about a few months ago... smile, smile, smile. It's an awesome feeling to just see the Block Captain chewing on her molars grumbling for a few minutes then smiling back. It's like the highlight of my day.

Anyway, a home is a long-term purchase. An investment in neighborly kindness even when we are aggrieved goes a long way to make that experience pleasant and could possibly improve our neighbors' disposition (although, we can't bank on that happening). We've moved out of that house since then but we continued to visit our neighbors for a few years (this is also because our cat decided to do a "homeward bound" trip and took a trek back to our old house, so we would drop cat food off to the people that bought our old house), continued to check up on their lightbulbs and other light house maintenance, until they died or moved to assisted living. We were sad to lose them even as they remained meanies to the very end.

And that's my First House saga...

Here's my advice worth what you paid for - go to the neighbor's, smile, bring them a cake, and tell them you're putting the fence exactly where your property line survey says where it is. They will probably throw the cake in your face, doesn't matter. It's the effort and what's in your heart that counts.

This is an awesome story of making lemonade out of lemons!!!

It also reminded me that somebody wrote us up in our HOA for Wallygator peeing on their mailbox. I NEVER allowed him to pee on ANY shrubs or plants... I just didn't know that peeing on a mailbox is a problem. When I posted it on our HOA FB page, a bunch of my neighbors told me that Wally was allowed to PEE on their mailboxes, and they loved to see my dogs dragging me thru the hood

 

[ddnene]

I agree with @anatess and @cefe13.

I recently had a dispute with my next-door neighbor, and like you, me and my husband are younger (26& 31) so we are constantly being pushed as if we don't have knowledge of the laws or regulations, etc. Our neighbors recently put up a fence and they have a big mean Belgian Malinois. Well they previously had him tied up with a chain in the backyard (yes, we are aware that it is illegal here and is considered animal cruelty) and they said their plan was to put up a fence and let him run loose in the backyard. Which was fine with us, not our business that is their dog, their yard.
So then, my husband and I have a fenced backyard, so we let our pups out to go potty in our backyard without leashes, and they do their business. Well our neighbors put up their fence, and their terribly mean dog is always trying to dig underneath their fence into our yard to get to Brisket and Oreo, as well as my kids when they play outside. Now, that dog is huge, and mean, so I put some stones there underneath my side of the fence to keep him from digging into our yard but has pulled in our stones and continued to dig to the point where half his body fits underneath. So, one day, when trying to replace the stones that dog lunged underneath the fence and BIT ME! IN MY YARD! so as you can imagine I was furious. And my husband was beyond that. We had already mentioned the issue to the neighbors and they had done nothing about it. But once he bit me, I was done. What if it was one of my kids playing by the fence? Or Brisket or Oreo? NOPE!
So, like any other angry momma bear I walked over to their house and showed them the bite and the cut. And told them (trying to stay as calm as possible) that they needed to find a way to keep their dog out of my yard. Naturally, they turned it on me saying it was not their fault that I did not have my fence blocked better. OMG how I almost lost it, so I told them "Look, I get it, it is your dog and your yard, and I have no say over that, but the next time YOUR dog reaches into MY yard, I will have a say, and you will not like how things end up."
Since then they boarded the bottom of their fence and the dog has not been able to get through. Now, I attempted to be nice and cordial and ask the proper way, but sometimes people push it, so to me it seems ridiculous that the woman is making such a big deal over the fact that it is YOUR yard. In my opinion, they’re just trying to be pains to get what they want, and I would not be okay with someone telling me how and where to put a fence in my yard after you were willing to do the right thing and compromise. But, like the others have said, if you are willing to give up a little room for the peace and quiet to avoid confrontation, go for it. I might do the same thing, but once you have a nice big fence up all the way around your house, she really can't mess with you. You'd have your own fortress! and if she tries, that's trespassing (if she wants to get nasty).

Upto you, but I've been labeled feisty by my husband and family, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me.

I would keep a record of the incidents, and call Animal Control. For one... most states have leash laws now, and dogs aren't allowed to be chained up all day (THANK GOD). And like Chip stated, that dog could be extremely dangerous...

 

[KrysA724]

I would keep a record of the incidents, and call Animal Control. For one... most states have leash laws now, and dogs aren't allowed to be chained up all day (THANK GOD). And like Chip stated, that dog could be extremely dangerous...

Yes, [MENTION=15364]oscarmayer[/MENTION] and [MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION] I warned them I would call animal control on them so they have been extra cautious with their dog. Not sure why they would want such an aggressive dog considering they have two little girls.. but anyway. As long as that dog stays out of my hair and out of my property, there’s not much I can do. God forbid that dog gets out tho and hurts someone.

 

[mer55]

If you just built the house, there MUST have been land surveys by the builder and filed with the town. I am sure there were inspections during the build. I would go to the town hall and pull the boundry survey, then have your hired company review it. This lady sounds like a doozy and your life will be hell without that fence! And how DARE she criticize Moose!! Good luck!!

 

[anatess]

Yes, @oscarmayer and @ddnene I warned them I would call animal control on them so they have been extra cautious with their dog. Not sure why they would want such an aggressive dog considering they have two little girls.. but anyway. As long as that dog stays out of my hair and out of my property, there’s not much I can do. God forbid that dog gets out tho and hurts someone.

Whoa! That's some scary dog!

My neighbor's pitbull got put down by the city. One of our neighbors was jogging past their house and their teen kid just happened to open the front door to go out and the pitbull rushed through the open door, chased the jogging neighbor and almost tore his arm off! He had to have surgery and almost lost his arm. The teen was powerless to stop the dog. This was the dog's first offense, I think, but they put him down because the jogger sued the neighbor for medical expenses and to have the dog put down.

I love pitbulls and they're getting a bad rep that is mostly undeserved. I don't know how this pitbull was raised but that dog was scary. Looks like your neighbor is not taking good enough care of his dog and is making him dangerous! There are just some people who should not have big dogs.

 

[bulldogs1501]

I agree with [MENTION=2874]anatess[/MENTION] and [MENTION=9875]cefe13[/MENTION].

I recently had a dispute with my next-door neighbor, and like you, me and my husband are younger (26& 31) so we are constantly being pushed as if we don't have knowledge of the laws or regulations, etc. Our neighbors recently put up a fence and they have a big mean Belgian Malinois. Well they previously had him tied up with a chain in the backyard (yes, we are aware that it is illegal here and is considered animal cruelty) and they said their plan was to put up a fence and let him run loose in the backyard. Which was fine with us, not our business that is their dog, their yard.
So then, my husband and I have a fenced backyard, so we let our pups out to go potty in our backyard without leashes, and they do their business. Well our neighbors put up their fence, and their terribly mean dog is always trying to dig underneath their fence into our yard to get to Brisket and Oreo, as well as my kids when they play outside. Now, that dog is huge, and mean, so I put some stones there underneath my side of the fence to keep him from digging into our yard but has pulled in our stones and continued to dig to the point where half his body fits underneath. So, one day, when trying to replace the stones that dog lunged underneath the fence and BIT ME! IN MY YARD! so as you can imagine I was furious. And my husband was beyond that. We had already mentioned the issue to the neighbors and they had done nothing about it. But once he bit me, I was done. What if it was one of my kids playing by the fence? Or Brisket or Oreo? NOPE!
So, like any other angry momma bear I walked over to their house and showed them the bite and the cut. And told them (trying to stay as calm as possible) that they needed to find a way to keep their dog out of my yard. Naturally, they turned it on me saying it was not their fault that I did not have my fence blocked better. OMG how I almost lost it, so I told them "Look, I get it, it is your dog and your yard, and I have no say over that, but the next time YOUR dog reaches into MY yard, I will have a say, and you will not like how things end up."
Since then they boarded the bottom of their fence and the dog has not been able to get through. Now, I attempted to be nice and cordial and ask the proper way, but sometimes people push it, so to me it seems ridiculous that the woman is making such a big deal over the fact that it is YOUR yard. In my opinion, they’re just trying to be pains to get what they want, and I would not be okay with someone telling me how and where to put a fence in my yard after you were willing to do the right thing and compromise. But, like the others have said, if you are willing to give up a little room for the peace and quiet to avoid confrontation, go for it. I might do the same thing, but once you have a nice big fence up all the way around your house, she really can't mess with you. You'd have your own fortress! and if she tries, that's trespassing (if she wants to get nasty).

Upto you, but I've been labeled feisty by my husband and family, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me.

Well last Thursday and Friday we put up our fence!! And then this weekend we went and bought alot of trees and had about 10 people help me plant all of them. We decided that for peace of mind and moving on with our lives we just want to put up the fence. I am now thinking of having my lawyer reach out to their survey company or to them and acknowledge that we don't agree with their survey and to protect us from adverse possession. But as you'll see in the picture, we are not talking about a life changing amount of land. The left most corner marker is our company and the other is their company. Through the entire process they haven't said a single word to us, so I am wondering if they're brewing something up or if they've come to terms and are satisfied with the fact that we followed their property marker.





My next project is now to build our Moose a little potty area

 

[bulldogs1501]

If you just built the house, there MUST have been land surveys by the builder and filed with the town. I am sure there were inspections during the build. I would go to the town hall and pull the boundry survey, then have your hired company review it. This lady sounds like a doozy and your life will be hell without that fence! And how DARE she criticize Moose!! Good luck!!

The house is newly built, but a portion of the old house foundation is remaining. I don't know if all states are the same but they do this in NJ to avoid from having property taxes skyrocket. I have the builder's construction blueprint and survey, however, they never set corner markers. The issue started when I hired the same company the builder used to come and survey again and set markers.

 

[KrysA724]

Well last Thursday and Friday we put up our fence!! And then this weekend we went and bought alot of trees and had about 10 people help me plant all of them. We decided that for peace of mind and moving on with our lives we just want to put up the fence. I am now thinking of having my lawyer reach out to their survey company or to them and acknowledge that we don't agree with their survey and to protect us from adverse possession. But as you'll see in the picture, we are not talking about a life changing amount of land. The left most corner marker is our company and the other is their company. Through the entire process they haven't said a single word to us, so I am wondering if they're brewing something up or if they've come to terms and are satisfied with the fact that we followed their property marker.

View attachment 119885

View attachment 119886

My next project is now to build our Moose a little potty area

A potty area is a great idea. I didn’t realize your fence was not going to be a privacy fence. That worries me a little if they are going to continue to be bitter about the whole situation considering safety for Moose. The fact that they insulted him during the whole disagreement would make me nervous. As others have said, even with the fence up, always be sure that he is supervised 100% when outside. It is way too easy for someone to throw something into your yard and feed it to him with bad intentions.

The difference is not a lot at all! I can’t believe they threw such a fit about it. They probably just don’t like change or they used to use the property for something else in the past that made them resentful that they no longer have access to it. All in all, I like your fence! Hopefully with some time, those trees will grow thick enough to block most of the view.

 

[2BullyMama]

Well last Thursday and Friday we put up our fence!! And then this weekend we went and bought alot of trees and had about 10 people help me plant all of them. We decided that for peace of mind and moving on with our lives we just want to put up the fence. I am now thinking of having my lawyer reach out to their survey company or to them and acknowledge that we don't agree with their survey and to protect us from adverse possession. But as you'll see in the picture, we are not talking about a life changing amount of land. The left most corner marker is our company and the other is their company. Through the entire process they haven't said a single word to us, so I am wondering if they're brewing something up or if they've come to terms and are satisfied with the fact that we followed their property marker.

View attachment 119885

View attachment 119886

My next project is now to build our Moose a little potty area

wow.... you did the best thing, LOVE the fence too

 

[bulldogs1501]

A potty area is a great idea. I didn’t realize your fence was not going to be a privacy fence. That worries me a little if they are going to continue to be bitter about the whole situation considering safety for Moose. The fact that they insulted him during the whole disagreement would make me nervous. As others have said, even with the fence up, always be sure that he is supervised 100% when outside. It is way too easy for someone to throw something into your yard and feed it to him with bad intentions.

The difference is not a lot at all! I can’t believe they threw such a fit about it. They probably just don’t like change or they used to use the property for something else in the past that made them resentful that they no longer have access to it. All in all, I like your fence! Hopefully with some time, those trees will grow thick enough to block most of the view.

Yes, I wish it was all around a privacy fence, but since we are on a corner lot the town makes us do a 50% transparent fence on the side facing the street. The side facing our neighbor is the full privacy fence.

I never leave him outside alone, but the nice thing also is he only eats kibbles and doesn't really eat people food. I show him an orange or a banana and he runs away like a scaredy cat. Thank you and everyone else for the comfort and hearing me out!!

 

[2BullyMama]

Yes, I wish it was all around a privacy fence, but since we are on a corner lot the town makes us do a 50% transparent fence on the side facing the street. The side facing our neighbor is the full privacy fence.

I never leave him outside alone, but the nice thing also is he only eats kibbles and doesn't really eat people food. I show him an orange or a banana and he runs away like a scaredy cat. Thank you and everyone else for the comfort and hearing me out!!

View attachment 119887

very nice!!

 

[KrysA724]

Yes, I wish it was all around a privacy fence, but since we are on a corner lot the town makes us do a 50% transparent fence on the side facing the street. The side facing our neighbor is the full privacy fence.

I never leave him outside alone, but the nice thing also is he only eats kibbles and doesn't really eat people food. I show him an orange or a banana and he runs away like a scaredy cat. Thank you and everyone else for the comfort and hearing me out!!

View attachment 119887

Beautiful!! Sounds like you’re in the clear! And moose!! Such a smart boy! Congrats then on your new home, fence, happy family, and (hopefully) peacefulness!

 

[anatess]

Yes, I wish it was all around a privacy fence, but since we are on a corner lot the town makes us do a 50% transparent fence on the side facing the street. The side facing our neighbor is the full privacy fence.

I never leave him outside alone, but the nice thing also is he only eats kibbles and doesn't really eat people food. I show him an orange or a banana and he runs away like a scaredy cat. Thank you and everyone else for the comfort and hearing me out!!

View attachment 119887

Fence and yard looks great!

I agree with [MENTION=19788]KrysA724[/MENTION] that a dog run would probably be beneficial so the dog won't be running against the transparent fence. I have the same issue in my backyard because my yard backs up to a lake and our HOA does not allow privacy fences on the lake. There are always kids passing through my property on the lake side because it serves as a shortcut to the community pool so I put up a 3 foot transparent fence so they don't walk on my garden. My dogs would run to the fence when the kids pass by and sometimes they would rile them up (nothing mean, I have good neighbors). I just didn't want any accidents so I built a dog run within the backyard so the dogs stay in the dog run far from the back fence. The dog run wraps to the side of the house fully privacy fenced so they have tons of room to play and dig and chase and sunbathe, etc. etc.

 

[anatess]

Well last Thursday and Friday we put up our fence!! And then this weekend we went and bought alot of trees and had about 10 people help me plant all of them. We decided that for peace of mind and moving on with our lives we just want to put up the fence. I am now thinking of having my lawyer reach out to their survey company or to them and acknowledge that we don't agree with their survey and to protect us from adverse possession. But as you'll see in the picture, we are not talking about a life changing amount of land. The left most corner marker is our company and the other is their company. Through the entire process they haven't said a single word to us, so I am wondering if they're brewing something up or if they've come to terms and are satisfied with the fact that we followed their property marker.

View attachment 119885

View attachment 119886

My next project is now to build our Moose a little potty area

Oh! You are building a potty area! Sorry... didn't read all the posts before replying above.

By the way, I actually have the same issue with the next door neighbor about property lines... but I have super nice neighbors and we've become very good friends. Anyway, I got my house first and it already had the fence built so we didn't have to do surveys or anything. The family next door just experienced a family tragedy when we moved in so my husband has been taking care of their hedges for them. But then a hurricane came and destroyed the fence, so we had to rebuild the fence and that's when we realized our fence was put 2 feet too close to my house but it was completely in the middle of our 2 houses. So the fence guys asked me if I want to put it where it is supposed to be so we can reclaim the land. So, I talked to my neighbor and she seemed surprised that I didn't know about the 2-foot area beyond our fence. She said... "why do you think I don't take care of that hedge? The people that owned your house before you bought it planted that hedge!" Hah hah. So we told the fence guys to just go ahead and put the fence where it was... which, we later found out was not a good idea. Because, then they moved out and a new neighbor moved in and the new neighbors decided to fence in their yard, pulled the survey and found out about the hedge so they got in a conundrum because if they connect their front fence to our side fence we will lose access to trim the hedge so they told me I have 2 choices - move our fence to the other side of the hedge, or just go through their gate to take care of the hedge. Which is gonna be a problem if they move out and a new family moves in that doesn't want me traipsing through their gate! We didn't have the money to move the fence, so we just told them to go ahead and put up the gate and we'll just go through their gate to maintain the hedge. It's a mess. Good thing we've become good friends and they love my dogs.

 

[Chunky White]

Nice fence!! Some neighbors suck and I tend to always have that one neighbor that drives me crazy no matter where I live. The original owners of the home behind me wanted me to pay for a survey since they thought I mowed to close to their home. They live in PUD neighborhood where they do not own a yard and I have permanent metal stakes driven at the corners which I showed him. He then says I should let his kids play in my yard which I had no issue with and told him so. They never once left their bedrooms or video games in the two years they lived behind me. My old neighbors from where I lived for 20 some years dislike my sister and her family which I allow to live in my other home and call me complaining. Her husband pushed my sister in front of my crazy brother in law on my property and it did not go well. I am no longer friends with the kids I grew up with because of them. They complained that the 30 year old fence and some trees that were planted before my parents or they purchased the two homes were on their property. I tore the fence down to please them and was told I over reacted that they were just making me aware. I wish I would of cut the trees down also.

I wanted to put up a fence where I live now and will at some point. The neighborhood restriction limits fences and privacy shrubs at 40" which is 8" short of a regulation fence. Some other neighbors have installed 6' fences so I will put one up at some point. I don't like the fact that at any point someone can complain and I would have to tear it down or shorten it. I don't even want a privacy fence.

I have good neighbors where I am at now as long as I don't mow to far over on the one guys yard. He drives me crazy at time since I treat my yard year round and he doesn't so I get weeds and crabgrass from him. He does mow 2-3 times per week and adds fertilizer to his crabgrass