Sort of at a dead end

[AmberXo]

Hate to sound or be annoying, but does anyone have any tips or advice? When I got Brynn I was told she is aggressive, which is why they got rid of her in that she attempted to bite their other dog and that they wanted her in a home with no dogs. Well, I have five cats and Brynn gets along with all of them. They sleep together actually, and at the groomers and pet stores and friends houses or wherever she does no harm to any other dogs. So I do not see the aggressive trait. Though there could be something to do with the beagle she lived with. Anyways, I was told she does not like guys. She was bounced around and temporarily re-homed a few times due to what I was told life crises. Well, it bothers me that no guy can walk in my house. A friend of mine came over and Brynn would not even let him up the stairs of the deck, and he has two bulldogs. I literally had to hold her and he even got to her level, did no sudden movements, ignored her and put his palm out ( not his hand over her head as she gets freaked out by anyone but me who does that - maybe a sign? ) but she did sniff his hand and go to him but if he moved she darted back to me and barked and growled. She does this with every male. And usually sits on top of me and then bounces around. I have not a single clue what actually happened to her... but I get the feeling she was hit by a male. As one of her re-homming temp times was with a male. But, like I said I wish I knew what to do so people aren't so stand - offish to come over. She has a tough bark and growl so she doesn't sound the friendliest either. I have tried having people ignore her, holding her, talking to her to calm her down, giving her a bone to chew on and side track her, but it's a lost cause.

 

[Vikinggirl]

Hi, so sorry you and Amber are going through this. Poor baby, something must have happened to her for her to behave like this, but since you can only go only what her previous owner has told you, and they probably aren't telling the whole truth, you can only guess she may have been abused by a male in her life. Maybe she just needs time to learn to re trust males, and maybe when your friend comes over, he can try and hand feed her, and see if she comes around. Or maybe some professional training might help her. I hope you find a solution, and she can overcome her fears. Good luck Hun

 

[Lokismom]

Loki for some reason is the same with males and we got him right from the breeder at work he wants to meet people I can tell but doesn't want to actually let them pet him. I hate it! he runs away to get spaces he grumbles a little and hides. I have even had patients sit on the floor back to him and he will not go up to them. If I put him up on the counter ,its a bar style counter, on the lower side he will let people pet him all day. It seems like he is lacking confidence told something. Hopefully we can both get this figured out

 

[cali baker]

Hi Amber,

Brynn is such a sweet and adorable girl! Love that avatar of her.

Well, seems like it will take lots of time and patience to help her overcome her fear of men. I was reading to not force her to interact with men if she shows fear b/c this may cause her to be even more fearful. Instead, when a male friend comes into the room, for example, have Brynn pay attention more to you than to the male; give her a favorite treat as the male comes in, or play with her...the point is to have as positive an interaction with Brynn while the male person is present. As Brynn becomes more comfortable with males, maybe have a male friend feed her, or groom her...again, will take lots of time and patience.
I think Monica's recommendation to get some professional guidance from a trainer is a good one.

 

[AmberXo]

Thanks everyone! I will deff try the feeding thing. My dad did hand her a treat and she is okay around him now, but once he stands up over top of her - then we start all over again. I wish she could talk and tell me what happened to her. She is very over protective of me also - to the point my step dad was moving bricks and walking toward me and I thought she was going to rip his arm off. :/ The professional help sounds like a good idea as well, although I would have to check into it as I don't want to drop her off somewhere and leave her there since she is still newish to me and she does not seem to do well with random people and me not around. I dropped her off at the groomers and she immediately laid down and would not move for the lady when I was going to leave. :/ I will keep trying though! The feeding thing and paying more attention to her than the male in the room sounds like an easy thing to do and maybe then she will see not all of them are mean and out to get her. Poor girl

 

[AmberXo]

Loki for some reason is the same with males and we got him right from the breeder at work he wants to meet people I can tell but doesn't want to actually let them pet him. I hate it! he runs away to get spaces he grumbles a little and hides. I have even had patients sit on the floor back to him and he will not go up to them. If I put him up on the counter ,its a bar style counter, on the lower side he will let people pet him all day. It seems like he is lacking confidence told something. Hopefully we can both get this figured out

How strange I wonder if it is an over powering thing? Maybe they feel iffy about people standing directly over top of them as they are so short to the ground as it is. Because my friend laid his coat on the couch and Brynn must have smelt his bulldogs and she, who is not allowed on that part of the couch, jumped up there and laid right on his coat then he was able to pet her. It's the weirdest thing. I to hate it and people look at me like 'control your dog lady' but I have not even a clue what happened to her before I got her so it's hard to tell and I am not going to yell at her or anything. I tell her to stop in a firm voice and pet her and give her treats and calm her down, but it's hard to correct something you aren't sure of what caused it in the first place.

 

[Pati Robins]

My boxer was terrified of tall ,big men -she would growl if they approached her and she got no escape route - with others she was fine
After a while we managed to overcome this fear of strangers but took us s long time
We started facing the "danger" by letting her observe people on the street within "safe" distance so my girl wont get stressed ,every time someone that fit the triggering description passed i gave her a treat and with soft voice i would say "calm,good girl ,calm" eventually we got closer and closer , until a friend if mine who suzi was afraid managed to come closer and give her a stroke
Her anxiety never really gone away but it was manageable she was always observing the situation all the time but she let people touch her and scratch her belly
I hope one day Bree will overcome hers xx

 

[2BullyMama]

We have friends with a Cane Corse (Italian Mastiff) that is exactly the same way... it take her weeks to warm up to a male. When I first met her I was working at a dog daycare that she came too three times a week and we were all told to ignore her and let her come to you when she is ready. Whenever one of the male crew entered the area Nova would go to a corner and lick the floor..... after years of being there, she only ever warmed up to two of the male crew all the others could not work in the big pen when she was onsite. My point is, as all the others stated before me, it will take time, be slow and take baby steps with her, but also know, she may never really get over it

 

[ddnene]

I agree w/everyone that a trainer may be in order... My boxer Roxie can be fearful of men as well, and she's never been abused. I sort of think it's the deep voice that throws her off... anyhoo we always make sure they give her a treat & pet her so she calms down. I'm sorry that you are going thru this... especially when you don't know what happened

 

[bella100]

Also in her past homes she and her female skin mom may have been hurt or abused by a male, sad to say but it does happen and she is protecting you and her!! shes such a cutie pie!! good luck to you both...

 

[AmberXo]

Also in her past homes she and her female skin mom may have been hurt or abused by a male, sad to say but it does happen and she is protecting you and her!! shes such a cutie pie!! good luck to you both...

This also crossed my mind as her previous owner did tell me she has a previous ex husband whom of which would not even give her the paperwork for Brynn for me to have - and stated that he is quite a character so maybe something happened with that situation. Which would explain her very over protective-ness toward me, which in a way I like, but I do wish she could tell me what really happened. I would like to call the previous owner and ask, but then again I sometimes think I shouldn't so I have yet to call. I have no intention to not be willing to work with her, get rid of her, or anything like that as none of that will do her any good - but I did try the feeding thing today when my grandfather stopped over and she did go up to him and calmed down once he fed her a few treats. I said to her see not everyone is out to get you. But, I can't blame her for acting that way when I have no clue what happened. Should I call and ask or do you think that is pushing boundaries? It won't be the end of the world if she never gets over it - she is six years old and kind of set in her ways anyways, but she seems to kind of warm up to the males that keep coming around frequently. Luckly. Key word being kind of.