I need advice. I'm desperate Can't vacation

[Lulu belle]

Max is 6 years old. He is deaf, very insecure & clingy. Each year my husband & I go on vacation, 4 days tops. I have mom & dad or my sister & niece stay @ my house. I found out this summer that he goes into a depression. They didn't want to tell me for fear I wouldn't vacation again. This summer he took it up a notch, my sister said he let out these screams at night. It was so bad she would go home during the day to get some sleep. Other than that he would just stare at the back door (waiting for me). They decided to tell me this year because they feel he escalated & they were afraid he would make himself sick.
I cried for 2 days when I found out, knowing he was in distress, it still makes me cry. I vowed never to vacation again but, that's not fair to my husband. I spoke to my vet, he says there is a collar I can buy that releases pheromones that will sooth & comfort him. I don't know if I can chance it. I don't know what to do.
All & any advice or thoughts are welcome.

 

[bulldogs4me]

have you thought about maybe renting and RV and taking a vacation that way so that Max can go with you? My parents take all their dogs with them when they head out on camping trips and love it!

 

[JeannieCO]

Boy, my suggestion just got shot at the window when I saw that you have your family come over and stay with him. I know my old guys who have passed would stair out a window waiting for their daddy to come home when he used to travel but I can only imagine that it's totally different with one that is deaf. He has to be extremely dependent on you if he's crying. Do they, your mom and dad or sister, spend much time with him? I'm not sure what to suggest really. I suppose they could try to coax his attention away with a treat or his favorite toy when he's crying. The only thing I can think of at all since they come to your home is for them to spend more time with him.

 

[Rural mystic]

I don't have any answers only a suggestion that you take the vacation. Can you take the dog with you? Would taking the dog with you be a vacation that you and your husband agree on? If not then I still think you need the vacation for your and your husband's sake. The dog may be forlorn while you are gone, which is a sweet sadness in its own right, but the dog will survive and you both may need the respite

 

[Wrangler]

Can you get him a companion animal? Another dog? Or even cat(my ragdoll will sleep with the dogs on the bed).

 

[Lulu belle]

Thank you,
My family lives 2 miles from me, they're at my house often. My 16 year old niece tried, he played for a few minutes than took up his vigil staring at the door. What scared me was the last day he didn't eat. 6 years he has never skipped a meal (he's like his mommy), we feed a cold & we feed a fever.

 

[Lulu belle]

He doesn't get along with other dogs & he is allergic to cats. Thanks for trying for me.

 

[Lulu belle]

I know you are right. I know I should go but I would never be able to relax. I couldn't relax before this, I would worry & miss him terribly. Now I know he suffers, I don't know what to do. I have a bigger problem than Max.

 

[JAKEISGREAT]

We have very good friends and neighbors whom we often take care of their Rudy when they go out of town. He is a shephard mix and years ago he was fine with it. Slowly but surely, he has now worked himself up into major Doggie Depression. He will not eat..barely drags himself outside to go potty. It doesn't matter if he is with our dogs or alone...he misses his people. I have resorted to hand feeding him and when he stops..he stops. he knows us very well and I worry about him so much. But what the others have said is true...they will NOT starve themselves and you need a vacation. If he is with people who love him he will be ok. I know it's easy for me to say...but with this I have experience.

 

[Rural mystic]

I know you are right. I know I should go but I would never be able to relax. I couldn't relax before this, I would worry & miss him terribly. Now I know he suffers, I don't know what to do. I have a bigger problem than Max.

Well you have affection and empathy for your dog in my opinion that's not a fault but a positive characteristic. But your anxiety and worry about what might happen seems to be holding you back from taking a much needed vacation. Do the best you can and arrange for the dog's needs to be taken care of and then be resolved to do what you consider best on taking the vacation. We only can control a few things in life and most of that is our own thinking and actions. If you and your hubby need a vacation then it might be a priority it doesn't mean that your not dedicated to and have love for the dog. I'm not trying to preach just trying to help. Hope it all works out for you

 

[MamaAndi]

I know you said he doesn't get along with other dogs....and this might be out of the relm of what you feel like doing but what about a puppy?

Most adult dogs will cut a puppy some slack because they understand that they are young and fragile. If your bully could bond with another dog maybe that would take some of the dependency off of you?

 

[izstigspunks]

I don't usually recommend meds, but there's this homeopathic one that are given to pets that get stressed ... bach's rescue remedy, I believe. But let me know if you're interested and I can check for you before you try it. I know a friend who gives it to her dogs if they're stressed from some sort of trauma, emotional or physical.

 

[Texas Carol]

Can you get him a companion animal? Another dog? Or even cat(my ragdoll will sleep with the dogs on the bed).

Hey, I've got a Ragdoll too...love them as much as I love bullies!

​Please post some pics as will I...going to post some of my Brutus too.

 

[Texas Carol]

I don't usually recommend meds, but there's this homeopathic one that are given to pets that get stressed ... bach's rescue remedy, I believe. But let me know if you're interested and I can check for you before you try it. I know a friend who gives it to her dogs if they're stressed from some sort of trauma, emotional or physical.

My heart goes out to you...Mother has been w/me (and Hubby before he died in August)
for 2 and 1/2 years and not one day away from her because she had trouble coping. If I
could go back and have a 'do over' I'd arrange for a day off here & there and certainly a
vacation w/Hubby...y'all need AND deserve it.

I'd also suggest the Rescue Remedy, maybe tight T-shirts, fav foods and more attention
when he's staring out the door. They could talk soothingly and rub his chest & shoulders
and try to distract w/his fav toy, maybe a walk (even in his yard). He will survive and so
will y'all. I have a very tender heart too...I will keep y'all in my prayers...but go!

 

[Vikinggirl]

Hi, I know you feel bad, or guilty that Max is missing you, and seems sad, but you also need a vacation with your husband sometimes, and a break. Just like with children it is healthy to leave them sometimes for both you and them. They learn that you will return, and to trust others, and since its your family, you know he's in good hands and he will be loved. It's only 4 days, and it will go by quick, and Max will be fine. Enjoy yourself, and don't worry.