Need advice on how to "train" my children to be more gentle with our dogs.

[Bella Cows Mama]

I posted this in another thread and thought that I may be able to get some good ideas on how to handle this with my kids and even with my dogs. Should I even be punishing them for protecting themselves when their comfort zone has been violated? I don't want them to think that the nipping is ok, though. And as I wrote in my post, my kids are extremely thick-headed when it comes to this. They just want to love and cuddle but they are just way too much!!!! My son even lays on top of them to give the bigges hugs ever, but it is not recieved well. My children are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. I do time outs but it doesn't seem to work with this particular situation. Anyone have any experience with this and success in handling it? How do you train your kids to not love too much ? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

" My children are rough and get too much into my dogs faces and try to cuddle and hug too much and just don't cue in on when to stop. A nip almost always ends up being the end result followed by a scream from mom "LEAVE THE DOGS ALONE! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THEM BITE YOU BEFORE YOU LEARN? ARE YOU JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO TAKE A CHUNK OUT SO THAT YOU HAVE HALF A FACE MISSING AND THEN WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM? " It make's me so mad that I have been struggling with them about this since we got our other dog 2 years ago. They just don't get it! And then, I don't want the dogs to think it's ok, so they end up getting scolded and ignored...and I end up with no cuddle buddy for a while . It sucks that the dogs and I have to get punished for something that my kids are being so thick headed about. I just don't know how to get through to them! I don't know if the domination thing is best for them to do to the dogs, when the problem is that they are hurting them and won't leave them alone. I don't want them to submit to abuse .
I know this post makes me almost sound like a mean mom, but my kids always come first and are my whole world!!!! I hate yelling and hearing other people yell at their kids...this is how bad it frustrates me....it actually makes me yell ! "

 

[Emmitt E]

Do you have boys or girls? It's probably just the age. My 3 yo little girl is ALL OVER the dog. He's just about 6 months old and the nipping has pretty much stopped, but a few months ago it was the same deal. All I heard was, "MOM!!!!!!!!!! Emmie bit me!". All the time.
I don't have great advice. I just kept pestering my daughter and Emmitt grew out of the nipping. Now when she has him in a headlock and puts her hands in his mouth he just sits there.

 

[Bella Cows Mama]

Now when she has him in a headlock and puts her hands in his mouth he just sits there.

@Emmitt E that is too funny. Bella is 8 months old and my other dog is 2 1/2, so I don't know if it is something that will be grown out of. I have a son (3 1/2) and daughter (4 1/2). My daughter def. does it less, but still does it just the same. And my son, it always doing it!!! I feel like my day consists of "stay away from the dogs! Leave them alone! She's gonna bite you!" on repeat. Although as I am typing, Bella has her head in my sons lap and he is rolling her ears into taquitos and she's sleeping right through it. Maybe she is getting better.

 

[cali~jenn]

Hmmm... Not sure I can be of much help either. My daughter is 2 and although does mess with the boys like crazy she isnt all over them like this so much. It is dangerous tho for your kids because the pups seem to be giving their warnings but they arent learning. It would just be awful if it got to the point where they did bite out of frustration. That certainly wouldnt be the pups fault at that point. Is there a way that you can keep the dogs and kids separated with a gate maybe unless you are there on top of them to keep them under control? I am lucky with my daughter because for the most part she does listen.

 

[Lucy-licious]

I would have to agree with [MENTION=390]cali~jenn[/MENTION], maybe keep the kids and dogs seperated unless you are there.
Totally ban all playtime between child and dog unless it is supervised and teach the kids to play with the dogs only using toys, no toy! no play! At least that way teeth are more likely to contact with toys not skin. Both dog and child enjoy to play fetch and if more than one ball is used the dogs are likely to drop the 1st one with the kids while thy run off and chase the next.

 

[Bella Cows Mama]

@cali~jenn Bella is almost always in the same room as me but the kids seem to sneak up to give hugs and kisses and become too much. It's just getting exhausting always having to be on lookout. My kids also listened at 2 but then they hit the "I'm a super hero and I can do what I want" 3's and "I'm independant, go to school, and am almost 5 so I am pretty much an adult now and can do what I want" 4's stage . Lord, help me .

 

[Bella Cows Mama]

I would have to agree with [MENTION=390]cali~jenn[/MENTION], maybe keep the kids and dogs seperated unless you are there.
Totally ban all playtime between child and dog unless it is supervised and teach the kids to play with the dogs only using toys, no toy! no play! At least that way teeth are more likely to contact with toys not skin. Both dog and child enjoy to play fetch and if more than one ball is used the dogs are likely to drop the 1st one with the kids while thy run off and chase the next.

Thank-you, I think that is a great idea . I am going to try that.

 

[kazzy220]

Totally ban all playtime between child and dog unless it is supervised and teach the kids to play with the dogs only using toys, no toy! no play! At least that way teeth are more likely to contact with toys not skin. Both dog and child enjoy to play fetch and if more than one ball is used the dogs are likely to drop the 1st one with the kids while thy run off and chase the next.

My kids were much older when we got out first dog - Coco - so I haven't had to deal with this. However, I do like the suggestion that Lucylambchop made that it should be a rule that they can only play with the bullys if they have a toy to play with. I would say that maybe use a different approach too, and instead of banning the kids from playing with the dogs by saying they will get hurt or bitten, try to teach them HOW to play with them instead. It's going to take some time - but at the age your kids are at it sounds as if they need the training rather than your dogs.

 

[Bella Cows Mama]

@kazzy220 I too like Lucylambchop's advice about the toys! I have tried to teach them the nice way of playing with the dogs, but really think that maybe making it just toy games alowed is going to be something we can work with here. Maybe starting with a good game of tug of war or rolling a toy around on the floor for them to chase. Maybe that will keep them at enough of a distance too so that they aren't so in-their-face!

 

[cali~jenn]

@cali~jenn Bella is almost always in the same room as me but the kids seem to sneak up to give hugs and kisses and become too much. It's just getting exhausting always having to be on lookout. My kids also listened at 2 but then they hit the "I'm a super hero and I can do what I want" 3's and "I'm independant, go to school, and am almost 5 so I am pretty much an adult now and can do what I want" 4's stage . Lord, help me .

Oh so you mean I will have my hands full soon then?!?! Great! Well then I cant offer much advice since your kids are at a diff stage than I can relate to. I will be here posting the same question in a year or 2 and hopefully you will have solved the problem for me. I agree with the idea of the toys only rule also. If I come up with anything else I will post more.

 

[sheila]

i'm not much help because i don't have my own kids and i love my dog infinitely more than my stepchildren. they are 8 and 3. the eight year old is really good with respecting butler, but the three year old thinks she can play with butler when he has a toy. But gets pretty excited when you try to get his toy from him, it's all in play and he wouldn't hurt an adult, but being so little she could easily get hurt. I tell her all the time "don't try to share toys with Butler" "leave Butler alone when he chews his toys" and she still tries to go for it, so I let her know that if she gets hurt, it is her fault and i'm not going to feel sorry for her. i'm so mean. I don't like repeating myself to humans, and Butler is my child, and he listens a hell of a lot better than she does.

They are really loving with butler though and he seems to eat it up, he never gets annoyed with affection he lets the three year old read to him on the floor. and by read i mean she points to shapes and colors in the book and shows him the pictures. lol. it's pretty cute.

 

[Gertie's Mom]

I don't have little kids anymore, just little grandkids. My daughter got Millie (who is the same age as Gertie and Ida) last summer when her boys were almost 7 and the twins were almost 4. I think it may be the age difference, but then all kids, all families and all dogs are different and have different personalities. But my grandsons haven't had these issues with Millie. I wonder if your little boy will outgrow this soon? You say your daughter is better with the dogs, and she's older. I would concentrate on getting the kids to play with the dogs with toys, [MENTION=1648]Lucylambchop[/MENTION] had a good idea. And keep explaining to the kids what behaviors are getting them nipped. It seems like they'll figure it out if they've been nipped a few times. And try not to yell. I know it's super frustrating, but I always went with the old adage "You get more flies with honey" (why you'd want flies I've never figured out!) I found with my kids (all 6 of them) when they were growing up, if you can keep calm and just talk to them, they pay more attention than if you're upset and yelling at them. Good luck!

 

[sheila]

[MENTION=881]Gertie's Mom[/MENTION]: but you get more honies when you're fly!

 

[LisaMarie]

When my daughter was younger she was always putting her face in the dog's face, and she would startle the dog often by sneaking in like that. It was very frustrating,but I keep saying to her that it was not nice sneaking like that and that dogs get scared also, and that she could get hurt. I just keep telling Her that we all have boundries and that she had to wait for the dog to come and play with her. I had to repeat myself a few times more, but she got it. Hope this helps!

 

[LisaRN]

don't feel bad.. my kids are 15 and 17 and won't leave the dogs alone..thus, I have a 17 year old with a scar by her eye from a few months ago. (not from Chester, but the shih tzu).