help me she is driving me nuts

[Ftse 100]

I have a new neighbour, yes she is nice, yes she is friendly.
But every single day she knocks on my door to come over for a coffee, I dont mind now and again but not every freackin day it is really beginning to give me the . today as soon as my hubby went to work at 10.20am within half an hour knockin on the door she must look to see if his car is gone.
I have started to close my house up partially close the blinds and put on the airconditioner so it looks like i'm not home as my car is in the garage, but I really should not have to do this and I don't want to be rude to her but what else can I do instead of hiding in my own flaming house.
And other days when I am sitting out the back talking to my hubby, daughter, son or a visitor she appears at the fence and starts talking to Ftse, yes she does have a husband and he is retired but he is away for a few weeks and he returns this Friday so maybe she is lonely but really is this my prblem? I just dont have the time or need to see my neighbours every single day. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Noyes27]

you must invite her in when she knocks right, as I'm sure she doesn't just waltz in, so stop inviting her! Doesn't have to be in a rude way, but
What about if the next few times she knocks you just tell her you would love to but don't time, andd then the next time don't answer. And the time after that just say no without an explanation. I am sure she will eventually get the not as subtle hint


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[bulldogs4me]

I'm of no help, I would be hiding in my own home too!!

 

[Vikinggirl]

That's a tough one, how do you tell someone No, without seeming or being rude? I'm no good at that at all. I'm lucky here , you never really see your neighbours, everyone is at work during the week, it is a very quiet complex. Most of my neighbours are young couples with no children yet, or older retired couples, there are 4 or 5 single young people, I have one neighbour who is really old, and her daughter and son in law who are in their late 50's have moved in to look after her. Their a few couples with young children, and then there is us with a grandson, 2 grown kids, and 2 Furbabies. There bare only 32 units in this complex and they are condos, so we have a company that comes in here and does all our maintenance. It's pretty quiet. When your neighbour comes to the for, you could just tell her, I'm sorry right now is not a really good time, as I'm busy cleaning, or cooking, or on the phone, or what ever excuse you want to give her, and when you are in the backyard, with your family or with visitors, she shouldn't be inviting herself or intruding, uninvited, but since she doesn't have that radar, or sense then you can say, it's not a good time to visit right now, as I'm entertaining right now, or I have company, I'll talk to you later. Or even if you are in the backyard with your family, you can always say I'm just having dinner with my family , I'll talk to you later. Hopefully she will get the hint.

 

[JAKEISGREAT]

This is a tough one...hopefully it's temporary and when her hubby gets back either HE will point out that she shouldn't be coming every day...OR she will be busy! The only way she will stop, is if you aren't home....or you just tell her you really don't want to hurt her feelings...but you just don't have the time to sit every day for coffee. Good Luck..guess you are just too nice and fun...:D

 

[luseaann]

Maybe something like Jakeisgreat said. Next time you let her in for coffee, when you are done, say Gee, this was great. Wish I had time everyday to do this, but I don't. I hope you can stop by on Wednesday again. That way you keep a friendship, but more on your terms.

 

[LariP]

Instead of handing her coffee, give her a dust mop and polishing spray and say I'm just too busy to stop now but if you want to stick around you can help with the chores.

 

[2BullyMama]

Yea, see I am different.... I'd be telling her at the door, sorry no time to chat I have things to do

 

[cali~jenn]

Ooooh, that would irritate the holy heck out of me. I am the type of person that prefers a call before a visit. Lets hope that friday when hubby gets home she relaxes some. This is why I stay in my bubble and dont get too chatty. LOL!!!!!

 

[Lucy-licious]

I'd tell her straight tbh......I'm really loving your company but I just can't do this every day cos I got stuff to do. Honesty is always the best policy...if she figures out your hiding she might get upset anyway...better to say xx

 

[mabel lou]

I totally agree with the upfront talk. I would greet her at the door with my coffee in my hand and talk for a minute and then say "well I need to go now because I need to get my day started, hope you have a great day and thanks for stopping" and then close your door politely. But then my son always says I say it like it is and some like that about me and others misunderstand me.

 

[dalmatina38]

I would be open and honest and just let her know you have a hectic busy schedule and it is difficult to schedule daily coffee breaks. lol Sometimes there is just no easy way, be gentle but firm. Good luck.

 

[linwhite]

Unless she's bringing both her and you coffee, there's nothing that says you have to offer her some. Turn the pot off when hubby leaves and dump what's left. You can make yourself more later.

There's nothing that says you have to talk to her if she's talking to the dog over the fence. Ignore her unless she addresses you directly. My neighbor comes over to talk to the dogs all the time. He wants to talk to the dogs, not me, so he does. LOL You know they're great for sharing your secrets with. Maybe she's sharing hers.

Put up a Do Not Disturb sign on your door knob. Have a variety of them - Do Not Disturb - taking a bath; taking a nap; busy, busy, busy; bad case of the grumpies... you get the idea. Leave it down if you feel up to a chat. Hubby can stick one on the door know on his way out.

The poor thing is lonely and if she's just moved in, disoriented. Find out what she enjoyed doing at her old home and direct her to places that offer the same kind of activities. She's probably lucky to be able to find the grocery store at this point. Check you're area's web pages for activity directories and print her one if you can't email a link to her.

Now, if she comes from a culture where sharing daily coffee with the neighbors is what you do (my Mom and our neighbors did that in the 1950s but the women didn't have cars even if they could drive) you've a different problem.

 

[mabel lou]

Christmas gift for the neighbor go buy a coffee pot and some coffee and tell her one day maybe she can make the coffee and if your available maybe you could stop over and have a cup. This will at least get her to make her own coffee (maybe she don't own a coffee pot) and will also let her know that IF your available. But again this is being me and the way I do things lol. Good luck

 

[Baconator]

Electrify the door knob, if that doesn't work watch Home Alone for more suggestions