Contemplating a Major Life Change...help?

[Davidh]

I agree with everyone else. You need to do what makes you happy. Live your life for you and not someone else. Life is too short to be unhappy. Like you said, if you fail you can always go back to school, or try something else. At least you can't say you did not try. Good luck with your Mom and hopefully she will understand. Just do what is going to make you happy and you will be great at it. Please keep us posted, and remember we are all here for you.

 

[deegary]

My little darling, you have just poured your heart out, and you must feel better for doing that, i have two older daughters both are married now, i brought them up alone.... i was happy with what ever thay had decided to do in life, as long as thay did not get hurt, or hurt anybody on the way, i let them have freedom, find themselfs in life, you must do what makes you happy hun life is to short to live it for others, your mum will work it out,in her mind, PLEASE DO WHAT YOU FEEL MAKES YOU HAPPY INSIDE it will be worth it in the end good luck

 

[dozersmama]

You have gotten tons of great advice, all I will add is I had a job that paid well and I hated every minute of it! I wanted to throw up every morning before going to work. I took a new job working at and eventually managing a dog daycare which paid quite a bit less. Everyone used to laugh at my job adn make fun of it. I told them all that I got up every morning for years happy to go to work, I loved my job, I worked over a lot because I was so happy there. I moved and even commuted almost 2 hours so I could stay employed there. I asked them if they could say the same. I usually got silence as a response. Just something to think about.

 

[JAKEISGREAT]

Lauren..I hope you feel all the here...THIS is an amazing group of people! GROUP !!!!

 

[kazzy220]

I'm not sure I can really add to what has already been said. I too will tell you to follow your heart. If you don't then you will never be truly happy. A groomer can make reasonable money ... speaking as somebody with two miniature schnauzers and two poodle mixes!! All 4 of them get groomed and each time they cost approx $40. I would start looking at community colleges in your area. I know that ours was offering one for somewhere around the $500 mark for a dog grooming course. I don't know if you would need something a bit more than that or whether that would be enough.

It sounds as if you have always wanted to work with animals ... so this would be a way of doing it. PLUS you are already grooming your friend's pets so it sounds as if you are just going to be taking the next step.


Good luck with your Mum .. to me it sounds as if she is just desperately trying to make sure that you are in a position where you will not be forced to make some of the awful decisions that she has had to make. Ultimately, you can not live her dream, you have to live your own.

 

[HuddysBuddy]

I cant stress enough Make yourself happy first, everything else will fall into place.

True words. Nobody can tell you what to do for the rest of your life. No matter what path you head down, you may end up loving or hating it. It is both our successes and mistakes that make us who we are. So, whichever way you go, good luck and make the most of it, good or bad.

 

[JeannieCO]

Big to you Lauren. There's some wonderful advice up above. You have to do what's best for you, follow your heart. It's not always an easy road when you're walking it but when you reach the end and reflect back you realize things in life happen for a reason and if those things didn't happen they wouldn't have brought you to where you later in life. I wish I could offer more advice myself. I can say that my son and I had a falling out back in 02 and it wasn't until late 04 that we started speaking again. It took us several months to get back to being on wonderful grounds but it took work on both our parts. Today, our relationship couldn't be better, ok we could have less distance in miles between us. I've always said that the 20's are some of the hardest years, you're just finding your path and really who you are. The 30's life is starting to fall into place and by the 40's, it's going pretty good for the most part. Following what's in your gut and heed to some of the advice above.

 

[BabyDuke]

Big to you Lauren. There's some wonderful advice up above. You have to do what's best for you, follow your heart. It's not always an easy road when you're walking it but when you reach the end and reflect back you realize things in life happen for a reason and if those things didn't happen they wouldn't have brought you to where you later in life. I wish I could offer more advice myself. I can say that my son and I had a falling out back in 02 and it wasn't until late 04 that we started speaking again. It took us several months to get back to being on wonderful grounds but it took work on both our parts. Today, our relationship couldn't be better, ok we could have less distance in miles between us. I've always said that the 20's are some of the hardest years, you're just finding your path and really who you are. The 30's life is starting to fall into place and by the 40's, it's going pretty good for the most part. Following what's in your gut and heed to some of the advice above.

so true!!

 

[laurendoodler]

I would like to say thanks to each and everyone of you. The fact that you all read through this and took the time to respond means a lot to me. I love you all!!

As we speak, I'm listening to my mom upstairs screaming at her ex-boyfriend. We all still live in the same house. We close on our new house next week..and then we're moving and her boyfriend is moving back to Pennsylvania. *sigh* I've lived in 5 houses in the last 6 years. Ridiculous. They're so immature..I'm more immature than my mom, I swear. They are fighting over FACEBOOK. Makes me want to beat my head on a desk.

I was going through some of my stuff that I wanted to sell in my room. Mom comes down and tells me instead of selling stuff, I need to "get up off of my lazy *** and get CNA certified and get a god damn job." That makes me feel wonderful. I don't WANT a CNA job. I'm going to Petco tonight to talk to a manager there..her name is Wendy. She LOVES me and Delilah. I was the first customer she ever helped there when she first started. I go in several times a week just to chat with her..I even give her Christmas cards every year. But I think they were hiring bathers so I'm thinking maybe I could get in there and earn up some money. I want to to finish up this semester of my schooling, and then get into a grooming program. I need a job in the mean time though to make money..the grooming programs are like $2000 or more for 3 months schooling. =/

[MENTION=1930]LaurieLolaandMojo[/MENTION] I really don't think I ever will tell her what happened with her ex. She'd go on a rampage and try to do something stupid. She's attempted suicide 3 times. Every single time I'm the one that finds her, I'm the one that has to call 911. It's messed me up. She will be so furious with me if I go for grooming, I know she will be. And I'm scared.

[MENTION=390]cali~jenn[/MENTION] I've accepted that I'm not going to be anything huge, and that's okay with me in all honesty. But it won't be to her. I am going to community college right now. There are local grooming schools around here. It's about $2000 for the schooling. =/ Which isn't bad for your career, just a lot at once. I didn't really have a whole lot of interest in mobile grooming but that seems interesting. I don't think anyone around here does that.

[MENTION=1648]Lucy-licious![/MENTION] Tim is very supportive. He's tired of seeing me upset and miserable. I cry every day. I'm seriously in a huge slump and want to be happy. I'm very afraid of upsetting my mom because she screams and yells and hits when I don't do what she wants.

[MENTION=3169]BellasMom[/MENTION] I do still live with her..that's kind of the problem. I want to save up some money before I move out. I don't really care if she charges me rent, I'll pay it. I give her money now the way it is anyway. My biggest concern is losing medical insurance. I'd be graduating school with a degree..but only an associate's..but I'm only covered by insurance as long as I'm in school I think. It might be that I'm okay until I'm 21..I think you can be covered until age 26 if you're in school. I do have medical problems and need insurance. I have good insurance now. So, I'm scared in that regard. But what do I do..? Be unhappy for the rest of my life so I can get a few more years of good insurance? I just..don't know. I wish I didn't have all these health problems and that I didn't have to worry about that.She's going to yell and scream and be disgusted with me. She's going to want to slap me in the face and tell me I'm throwing away my life. And she'll say I'll be a worthless pile. I don't want to hear all of that!

[MENTION=2101]SunDog[/MENTION] thank you for your input!! At first, I wanted to be in college. But now, I don't. I'm only there because of my parents. And I'm wasting money and doing stuff I don't want to do. I'm glad to have input from a professor. I do still try..I try my hardest and I get A's and B's. I just..don't enjoy it anymore. And haha, yes, Caesar is doing QUITE well!

[MENTION=3139]Jack Daniels[/MENTION] when I was in high school, my mom tried to force me to join the army so that I could get my schooling paid for..ugh. I really didn't have a desire to do that. I respect the hell out of anyone in the military, but it's not for me. She made me talk to recruiters and everything. The only reason I got away with not doing it is because they wouldn't accept me with all of my medical problems.

[MENTION=2092]JAKEISGREAT[/MENTION] I appreciate your input It sounds like your sister has been very successful. I shouldn't have a hard time lifting dogs, I'm pretty strong..lol I do it now anyways and did it while I was working at the Vet..I worked there for 5 years. I would love to open up my own place..and have training classes. I'd also love to have my own grooming school. You can make $2000-$4000 to train one person for three months. If I got good enough and was well known enough..that would be fabulous if I could train other people. I'd also maybe like to do some "scholarships" and take in a less privileged person with less money and train them for free. Like one person a year. That'd be cool and a way to give back.

[MENTION=2091]BabyDuke[/MENTION] thanks for sharing your story, I do appreciate that. College really isn't for everyone, you're right. I was originally going for my BSN but I don't want to do that anymore. I'd like to think I'm a good person. I've always put others before myself and it's cost me my happiness. I just want to be happy.

[MENTION=2894]2BullyMama[/MENTION] haha, if I listened to mine, I'd be going to school for 15 years and making a crap ton of money and not getting married until I was like, 40. Which is the exact opposite of what I want. I want to get married by the time I'm like 24 or 25. And I want kids when it's plausible. I'm tired of her controlling me.

[MENTION=2071]Davidh[/MENTION] thank you for that. I'm trying to do what makes me happy. I just want to at least try. If I fail, I fail. I at least tried to be happy then.

[MENTION=2734]deegary[/MENTION] I do feel better for pouring everything out. But I feel guilty as well. I'm trying very hard to be happy..but I feel so bad for trying to be.

[MENTION=1665]dozersmama[/MENTION] thank you for the input. I to want a job where I can enjoy going to every day. Any of the jobs I've had I hated. I dreaded clinicals when I was doing that CNA stuff. I hated my warehouse job that paid well. It paid well but I was miserable and hated every minute I was there. If I'm making less money, but I'm happy..I don't care!! I want happiness!!

[MENTION=959]kazzy220[/MENTION], yes, good groomers who do a good job and are good with their animals and their owners do make decent money. I don't think the community colleges around here offer dog grooming. I go to the community college and haven't heard anything about that. But I will look into it. A few of the local groomers have schools and they are pricey..at least $3000.

[MENTION=2030]HuddysBuddy[/MENTION] you're absolutely right! I've made my fair share of mistakes and they've made me a better person.

[MENTION=2014]JeannieCO[/MENTION] that's what I'm afraid of..having a falling out and losing my mom's respect, since my whole life that's basically what I've strived for. I'm so jealous of my boyfriend's relationship with his parents..they're so close and let him do what he wants to do without passing judgement. Not my mom. I'm just afraid she's going to disown me. Just like she told me if I ever got knocked up before I was married she'd kick me out and have nothing to do with it. =/ I've only been 20 since April and yes..it's proving to be very difficult.

 

[Davidh]

[MENTION=1909]laurendoodler[/MENTION] what about your Dad, can you live with him? I know this is none of my business, but just wondering.

 

[heff101]

I made the HUGE mistake of following the desires my Father wanted for me. Long story short 25 years later I am still paying for doing what he wanted with my life instead of doing what I wanted. I really wanted to be a commercial pilot.
My father was fairly wealthy I worked for him for years for very little pay (he did buy me land and a house etc).
When he died this past summer my 3 other siblings walked away with from his estate eating lobster I walked away with the little dipping bowl of butter.
Moral of my story is it is your life do as you wish and what your heart is telling you to do.
If you dont you will pay for it for the rest of your life and will always wonder why did I do what someone else wanted me to do?
As I told my brother I used to think you were the fool for walking away from the family business yet I now realize you were the smart one and I was the fool.

 

[laurendoodler]

David, I could. But right now they've got this old friend of my step moms living there with her two rotten kids. Shes been there a year and won't get a dang job. She hates my guts because I brought it up to her that her little brats were destroying stuff in my room. She said nothing wrong with it and that I had no right to say anything about her kids.I've always stayed at moms. Shes more willing to help with money usually and most of my stuff is at her place. I lived with my dad one summer and she hated it and wanted me to come back.

 

[JAKEISGREAT]

Lauren..if you could get a job with a groomer as an assitant and learn from them..Knowledge is power..in anything you do! And hands on experience is the best kind. My sister worked her butt off and raised two boys by herself. It wasn't easy..I admire her with all my heart. She isn't wealthy..but guess what? My other sister is wealthy beyond imagination..(married a Canadian oil ahole) and guess who is happiest?? ME!!!..and I'm just in the middle class..well what is left of the middle class. You need to worry about Lauren. Get a job where you can advance towards your goals. If you have to..you might have to leave your mom...won't be easy..but she is not helping you. People who try to commit suicide 3 times..don't really want to die..they just want attention and unfortunately it is YOU who has to rescue your mom. Sit down..get an action plan and start moving towards what Lauren wants. I know it's easy for me to say..but you can't sit in the same place and move forward at the same time. start with a job ...hopefully a groomer or Petco. See if you can volunteer in any spare time at a groomers..or even bathing dogs at the humane society. Just do something to move yourself forward..baby steps are REAL steps...

 

[laurendoodler]

[MENTION=2092]JAKEISGREAT[/MENTION] Throughout my life, I have noticed that a lot of people that are the happiest aren't necessarily the wealthiest. A lot of the happiest people I know don't have hardly anything. Yet they're happy with what they do in life and love their families. I just want to have a good job that I enjoy going to, and a husband that loves me and a couple of kids some day. I'm simple, lol.

I don't know if I'd say she wants attention. She almost died all three times. They only reason she didn't is because I have a knack of showing up at the right time. The first time she over dosed and went out and sat in the garage with the van running and breathing in carbon dioxide fumes..and then proceeded to get into the van and back through the garage door. It was scary.

 

[agingermom]

Lauren, sweety, first let me get the psych nurse stuff out of the way because I am worried about you. Take your medications!! As ordered!! There are generic meds out there in most cases or resources that will help me the difference sometimes. Talk to a social worker, they are miracle workers!! You have me email address if you ever need to talk. I have the queen of overbearing moms that loves passive aggressive games. I will write you more tomm. Never hesitate to call me 509 434-4919.
Just one more quick note. Become a nurse because you love it and personally want it because it is physically and emotionally draining. Also whoever mentioned the military had an excellent idea. I loved it and it gave me time to make long term decisions. More later.