Happy St. Patrick's Day EBN

[rjisaterp]

Paddy drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor.
“What’s the story?” asks Sean when he sees the look on Paddy’s face.
“I haven’t been feeling myself lately,” replied Paddy.
“That’s good,” said Sean. “Sure, you’d be arrested for less!”


An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbor's fields when he spotted his neighbor carrying two sheep in his arms.
“Tony!” he called. “Are you going to shear those sheep?”
“I am not,” the neighbor replied. “They’re both for me.”


Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagle, and says, “You know what I want, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” says Paddy. “The whole feckin’ bed by the looks of it!”


Paddy’s walking home from the pub when he finds a woman tied to the railway track.
He frees her and takes her home, where they make passionate love all night.
The next day Paddy is drinking with Seamus when he boasts about the night before.
“So what does she look like, Paddy?” asks Seamus.
“I don’t know,” replies Paddy. “I haven’t found her head yet!”


Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small-town bar.
Paddy brags, “You know, I’ve had every woman in this town. Except me mammy, of course!”
“Well then,” says Seamus. “Between you and I, we’ve had ’em all!”


Paddy and Mary decided to try a 69. Paddy had never done one, so Mary said she’ll show him.
He lays down, and she squats over him.
As she lowers herself down, she farts. She apologizes and try’s again before farting a second time.
Paddy storms out and yells, “Well, I’ll be fecked if I’m sticking around for 67 more of them.”


The couple is in bed when the phone rings at two am.
Paddy answers and replies, “How would I know? That’s 150 miles from here.”
His wife asks who it was, and Paddy responds, “It was some eejit asking if the coast was clear.”


Paddy goes into a Dublin florist and says he wants to buy a bunch of flowers for his girlfriend.
“What is it you’re after?” the shop assistant asked.
“A shag!” replied Paddy.


Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for the night.
After three hours of unforgettable sex, Paddy says, “I wonder how the girls are getting on?”
Well, it’s certainly clear from these ten hilarious Irish dirty jokes that you can’t take things too seriously in Ireland, and you most definitely shouldn’t take any offense.
After all, it’s all about the humor at the end of the day.
There’s really no subject that’s off-limits in Ireland, so be prepared when it comes to dirty jokes. The Irish certainly love to take the piss, but they mean no harm; it’s all just a bit of good old fashioned craic. (enjoyable time spent with other people, especially when the conversation is entertaining and funny).


Happy St. Paddy's Day! I think I will have a Black and Tan now. Sláinte or...cheers, salud, compai, sein Glas zu einem Toast hochheben or probst to name a few cheer.

 

[helsonwheels]

 

[Manydogs]

Thanks Mr. Paddy Jane for yer experiences, an enjoyable read! All in one day-you've got stamina,I'll say!

 

[2BullyMama]

Sorry we’re late…