This forum has brought me so much joy and consolation and advice over the years, that I feel it’s only right I share my grief here. With people who love our wrinkle muffins and have too seen and felt the grief.
My Lara that I have posted about before ended up being diagnosed with ARVC. This was only one month ago. She lasted two weeks on her meds before they prescribed stronger ones because she went into ventricular tachycardia. Since the diagnosis she’s gone into it several times and desperately we’ve taken her to the vet for lidocaine shots to bring her heart rate down. She’s such a strong girl, she still stood through the 350bpm heart rate. All the vets she’s seen even the cardiologist said they’re surprised she’s taking it so well. But the medications have made her sleepy and given her a poorly tummy and my chunky girl lost weight. She has horrible diarrhoea and she’s now so picky with her food, I’ve been hand feeding her boiled minced meat and boiled egg. This Thursday she went into v-tach and lasted 12 horrible hours on it. We took her to get lidocaine again and they gave her a double dose and it didn’t bring her heart to normal. I couldn’t watch her surrounded by the vets and when he was administering it, she was pulling her paw away and grunting. So I knew and I just took her home. She’s now had two days without it. We’ve taken her on a walk, sleep with her downstairs, showered her with love but she doesn’t play much and she’s tired. She’s my boyfriend and I’s first dog and absolute best friend. I’ve said to myself that when she goes into it next I’ll call the vet to do a home visit and she can sleep.
I’m inconsolable, I feel guilty, she’s only 6! She should have been with me longer. What will I do with myself, who will I pet. I don’t know if I’m making a mistake but every moment she comes out of it gives me hope and then when she goes back into it I’m devastated. I don’t sleep, I don’t know when I’ve eaten. I just want more time but I don’t want to be selfish and prolong the pain. I don’t know if she’s in pain when she’s in it she struggles to breathe and because her heart flutters she’s too uncomfortable to lie down but she’s sleepy due to less oxygen. It’s scary sometimes her gums go blue and her little eyes look scared and sad.
I’m scared for the vet to come. She’ll get scared about being jabbed by the needle again. How will I comfort my baby… I hope the last moments are fast. I hope I one day forgive myself. I just hope one day I maybe get another fur baby and I’ll know right there and then it’s my Lara and she’s rested and has come back to me. Until then, I’ll grieve.
Please if you have any chunky wrinkle muffins at home, give them a cuddle from me. Give them a bit of extra love. I know this thread is all about memorials. And you must all be angels because these dogs are deserved only by the bestest people in the world with the biggest hearts. So big so that we can give away pieces of them to our babies when they pass.
My Lara that I have posted about before ended up being diagnosed with ARVC. This was only one month ago. She lasted two weeks on her meds before they prescribed stronger ones because she went into ventricular tachycardia. Since the diagnosis she’s gone into it several times and desperately we’ve taken her to the vet for lidocaine shots to bring her heart rate down. She’s such a strong girl, she still stood through the 350bpm heart rate. All the vets she’s seen even the cardiologist said they’re surprised she’s taking it so well. But the medications have made her sleepy and given her a poorly tummy and my chunky girl lost weight. She has horrible diarrhoea and she’s now so picky with her food, I’ve been hand feeding her boiled minced meat and boiled egg. This Thursday she went into v-tach and lasted 12 horrible hours on it. We took her to get lidocaine again and they gave her a double dose and it didn’t bring her heart to normal. I couldn’t watch her surrounded by the vets and when he was administering it, she was pulling her paw away and grunting. So I knew and I just took her home. She’s now had two days without it. We’ve taken her on a walk, sleep with her downstairs, showered her with love but she doesn’t play much and she’s tired. She’s my boyfriend and I’s first dog and absolute best friend. I’ve said to myself that when she goes into it next I’ll call the vet to do a home visit and she can sleep.
I’m inconsolable, I feel guilty, she’s only 6! She should have been with me longer. What will I do with myself, who will I pet. I don’t know if I’m making a mistake but every moment she comes out of it gives me hope and then when she goes back into it I’m devastated. I don’t sleep, I don’t know when I’ve eaten. I just want more time but I don’t want to be selfish and prolong the pain. I don’t know if she’s in pain when she’s in it she struggles to breathe and because her heart flutters she’s too uncomfortable to lie down but she’s sleepy due to less oxygen. It’s scary sometimes her gums go blue and her little eyes look scared and sad.
I’m scared for the vet to come. She’ll get scared about being jabbed by the needle again. How will I comfort my baby… I hope the last moments are fast. I hope I one day forgive myself. I just hope one day I maybe get another fur baby and I’ll know right there and then it’s my Lara and she’s rested and has come back to me. Until then, I’ll grieve.
Please if you have any chunky wrinkle muffins at home, give them a cuddle from me. Give them a bit of extra love. I know this thread is all about memorials. And you must all be angels because these dogs are deserved only by the bestest people in the world with the biggest hearts. So big so that we can give away pieces of them to our babies when they pass.
