URGENT!!! end of life questions

[love jelly]

Jelly is 11 & 1/2, she has arthritis and is at that point where we need to start thinking about whether or not we need to have her put to sleep.
She has trouble getting up and down the stairs and even moving around in general, she sleeps most of the time, and pants a lot.
Her panting wakes me up during the night sometimes a couple times during the night. She has started peeing in the house, something she has NEVER done.
I had her at the vet on Thursday and he thought we should think about putting her to sleep, but said he would support whatever my decision was.
We live in Florida in a flood zone so the main living level of the house is upstairs, which means she has to go up and down the stairs to go potty.
I have a back deck (second floor) and I'm wondering if I could train her to go on some kind of pee pee pad on that deck. It's a screened in deck so it's not something I could hose off.
In my head I know it's probably time, but my heart is breaking. She's been on all the arthritis meds, and pain meds (RX) and even glucosamine chondroitin MSM with vit. D, and low dose baby aspirin and has gotten progressively worse. This is the third year she's been on meds.
For the most part I agree she doesn't have much quality of life, but when my kids come over with their kids she is so happy to see everyone and even plays with them a little, nothing like she used to, but enough to make me feel like she isn't ready.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can get her to go potty on the back deck, and what to use so I can pick it up and throw it away. I love her so much and can't bear the thought of taking her to end her life. How does someone do that?

 

[2BullyMama]

Jelly is such a sweety... love the seniors! Many here do use pee pads on decks due to apartment living, one member even has a fake grass area that they can clean and resuse. I am sure you can train her to use the pads. i will tag a few members that might be able to help with the idea.

as for quality of life, I have not yet experienced this, I have lost my boy but it was a sudden illness that took him in one day, but i will tag a few members that had to make this choice for one of thier beloved babies.

Good luck to you and hugs, prayers to sweet jelly!

 

[ddnene]

First of all, I'm so very sorry to hear about your baby Jelly. My heart just breaks for you I have been in your position several times, and it's not an easy situation. I had a cat that I had to put to sleep that was 18 years old, and over a year ago I had to put to sleep a 4 mos old bully puppy with terminal neurological issues. People always say that you will know when it's time… and you do!!! When they start losing their ability to live a normal life then you have to ask yourself the tough questions… what would you want for yourself in their position?!!

You ask how can somebody put down a pet that they love? And my answer to you is that you do this because you LOVE them, and you LOVE them enough to let them go so that they will not suffer any longer. It is the most unselfish act that any loving pet owner can do for their babies. Of course it hurts… it hurts VERY much, but deep down you know that you have done the right thing. And personally for me I know that someday I will be reunited w/all my babies, and that is the one thing that carries me forward.

I hope that this brings you some peace of mind regarding your decision… and we are always here for you every step of the way. Many people here have dealt w/this, and it helps to know that others have gone thru the same situation. Sending you and your family hugs & prayers at this difficult time.

 

[love jelly]

Thanks for that, I need to hear from others who have gone through this. It's so hard to feel like I will be responsible for her death.
(side note...small world, you're from Gilbertsville PA? I was raised and graduated HS in Boyertown)!

 

[love jelly]

First of all, I'm so very sorry to hear about your baby Jelly. My heart just breaks for you I have been in your position several times, and it's not an easy situation. I had a cat that I had to put to sleep that was 18 years old, and over a year ago I had to put to sleep a 4 mos old bully puppy with terminal neurological issues. People always say that you will know when it's time… and you do!!! When they start losing their ability to live a normal life then you have to ask yourself the tough questions… what would you want for yourself in their position?!!

You ask how can somebody put down a pet that they love? And my answer to you is that you do this because you LOVE them, and you LOVE them enough to let them go so that they will not suffer any longer. It is the most unselfish act that any loving pet owner can do for their babies. Of course it hurts… it hurts VERY much, but deep down you know that you have done the right thing. And personally for me I know that someday I will be reunited w/all my babies, and that is the one thing that carries me forward.

I hope that this brings you some peace of mind regarding your decision… and we are always here for you every step of the way. Many people here have dealt w/this, and it helps to know that others have gone thru the same situation. Sending you and your family hugs & prayers at this difficult time.

Thank you, I don't want her to suffer. You're right, it will be a very unselfish act, but oh so hard.
I feel like if I can get her to go potty on the back deck, she will be ok for a while, it's the stairs that are so hard on her and of course she's too heavy to carry up and down the stairs.

 

[ddnene]

Thank you, I don't want her to suffer. You're right, it will be a very unselfish act, but oh so hard.
I feel like if I can get her to go potty on the back deck, she will be ok for a while, it's the stairs that are so hard on her and of course she's too heavy to carry up and down the stairs.

You will know when it's time… nobody can make that decision for you. I trusted my vets to give me guidance based on their medical opinions, but I made the final decision.

 

[2BullyMama]

Thanks for that, I need to hear from others who have gone through this. It's so hard to feel like I will be responsible for her death.
(side note...small world, you're from Gilbertsville PA? I was raised and graduated HS in Boyertown)!

Small world indeed--- the junior high is my next door neighbor! I am right off 663 and Swamp Pike, been here for almost 3 yrs.

 

[Marine91]

i am so sorry that you are having to consider making this difficult decision. It is never easy and it never will be. Tracey said it best. You will know when it is time and it is an unselfish act of love. It doesn't make it any easier but you will know. I went through it twice last year a few months apart with my boxer and ridgeback that both had terminal illnesses. When we made the decision that it is what we had to do we scheduled it for a Monday so we could have one last weekend with each of them. We more or less threw them a party like it was their birthday and spent the entire weekend spoiling the snot out of them. Did it take the hurt away? No but it did lessen it a bit as we know we got to give each of them one more weekend of pure love and joy. i miss my pups dearly everyday and often wonder how they are doing being illness free.

 

[JennieS]

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision for you beloved girl.
Just remember that you owe your baby the respect she so deserves. She loved you enough to trust you with her life, she will love you when you have to make that decision for her.

 

[love jelly]

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision for you beloved girl.
Just remember that you owe your baby the respect she so deserves. She loved you enough to trust you with her life, she will love you when you have to make that decision for her.

That made me cry, but thank you, I will remember that!

 

[love jelly]

i am so sorry that you are having to consider making this difficult decision. It is never easy and it never will be. Tracey said it best. You will know when it is time and it is an unselfish act of love. It doesn't make it any easier but you will know. I went through it twice last year a few months apart with my boxer and ridgeback that both had terminal illnesses. When we made the decision that it is what we had to do we scheduled it for a Monday so we could have one last weekend with each of them. We more or less threw them a party like it was their birthday and spent the entire weekend spoiling the snot out of them. Did it take the hurt away? No but it did lessen it a bit as we know we got to give each of them one more weekend of pure love and joy. i miss my pups dearly everyday and often wonder how they are doing being illness free.

I can't imagine losing two in such a short time. I'm so sorry.
We've talked about letting her have cake and ice cream
I'm taking this day by day...today she is having a good day...I still need to figure out how to re-train her to go potty on the back deck, that would make a big difference.

 

[love jelly]

Small world indeed--- the junior high is my next door neighbor! I am right off 663 and Swamp Pike, been here for almost 3 yrs.

I haven't lived there in ...uh....40 years, I have a sister in law in Gilbertsville, on Gilbertsville Ave., I haven't even visited in 30 years, I'd be lost! I'm in Florida, so everyone comes here!

 

[JeannieCO]

I'm so sorry this part and time of Jelly's life is here. I had a similar situation with my beloved Ace. He was 12. He too was having the same health issues that Jelly is having, potting, heavy panting and not the type of panting because they've been out playing or it's hot (a health related panting). Ace's littler mate brother (Orion) had passed year before and he was never the same after that. I'm of a belief that one of the greatest and most unselfish things we can do for our pets is to know when the time is here. It's one of the most gut wrenching decisions one can make, to send our babies to Rainbow Bridge. But we do so with love and knowing it was the best for them. I don't believe in letting a pet suffer longer than they should for our own hearts. They love and love us and that's my love I can give them to back, making that decision. For Ace, I knew. Not only was it his health, he also had Cushions Disease and his personality had changed. Sure he was still Momma's baby, but he was not himself anymore. And I saw it in his eyes. Their eyes will tell it's time too. That December I made Ace's appointment to go to sleep in my arms in our home. I had a full week to spend with him before that sad sad day. Did I question my decision, yes and no. Yes because he would smile at me but no because I knew he was suffering. While that week was the incredibly hard for me, I was able to spend some solid quality time with him until the end. I was content when he passed. I will say that when that moment happened (the first shot that relaxes them), I had never known how much tension he had had in his poor body. He completely released the tension and I felt so relieved for him.

If you know within your heart that it is time, then it is time. It's the hardest thing like I said that we can do, but it's the most loving thing we can do for our babies too. My heart goes out to you.

 

[bullmama]

Thank you, I don't want her to suffer. You're right, it will be a very unselfish act, but oh so hard.
I feel like if I can get her to go potty on the back deck, she will be ok for a while, it's the stairs that are so hard on her and of course she's too heavy to carry up and down the stairs.

Reading the above responses brings tears to my eyes, they are right, you will know when it's time. I'm so sorry, I do think you could try to train her on the pads. You can also get the human pads (Assurance incontinent pads) and put them in places in the house she's already been going. Peed pads on the trash and poo down the toilet, and you can take more time to make the decision and see if it helps her pain with not having to go up and down the stairs.

 

[love jelly]

Jelly today, she's having a good day, even though she looks a little sad! We'll take this day by day....still if anyone has any advice on how to re-train her to go on a pee pad on the back deck, that would make a huge difference for her. THANK YOU to the replies I've gotten you have no idea what that means!