Kim just hang in there.. I am glad we met.. My older son John had to go to counseling when Ryan was diagnosed as well. he was in complete denial.. Your last message made me cry.. I totally 100 % get what you are saying and that is the part that people don't understand.. It is alot to keep inside.. one day at a time.. I remember my counselor at the hospital telling me sometimes its harder on the parents than the child going through it.. I will always be here for you. 
Love your profile pic too! How adorable!