I am so, so sorry you are going through this. It is never an easy thing to decide.
Last July I had to make the decision to put my 8 year old Boston Terrier to rest. At the end of April Annie started having seizures out of nowhere. She had 17 grand mal seizures in a matter of 19 hours. It was heart breaking to see. We tried every combination of anti seizure medicine possible but nothing would help. The longest she would go without one was 2 days and then she would have a whole cluster of them. I held on to her until July in hopes that they would stop but they wouldn't. I made the hardest decision of my life and too her to my vet to let her go. And let me tell you, even driving her the 5 minute drive, I convinced myself that I could give her one more week...that I was giving up on her too soon. My husband and 3 years old daughter were in the car behind me so they could say goodbye to her and then leave while I stayed with her. I was going to tell him that I changed my mind. Well when we walked in the door, Annie broke out in the most violent seizure she had ever had. I firmly believe that was her way of tell me 'Mama, it's time to let me go. You are doing the right thing.' So my husband and daughter said their tearful goodbyes. I held Annie in my arms and looked her in the eyes and whispered that I loved her while she crossed the bridge. It was unreal hard but something that very moment told me it was time.
Then about a month and a half ago I had to let my other Boston go. 😞 So I had to make that decision with both of my babies within 9 months of each other. He was tough though. Rocky was 12 and was great until I lost Annie. I know his heart was broken and I believe he let himself go. So for a couple of months I went back and forth on whether to let Rocky go and if it was the right time. I even flew my Dad from NH to SC to help me decide. But like everyone else said, he couldn't tell me. Only I could decide. Only I would know. And I literally went to bed Sunday night and hardly slept. I snuggled with him all night. For some reason I kept crying off and on. I guess I knew it was time but didn't know if that makes sense. I woke up Monday morning and asked my husband to take our daughter to school for me. When he left I called my vet and said it was time. I made an appt for when my daughter got out of preschool. So just like 9 months earlier with Annie, we drove in separate cars. They said their goodbyes. I stayed and held Rocky wrapped in the same penguin blanket that my daughter picked out for Annie when she went to Heaven. I looked him in the eyes, cried, talked to him, said I was so sorry and that I loved him so much as he crossed the bridge.
Sorry for my rambling 😞 I just feel for you and my heart aches for you. Something will tell you when the time is right. Whether it's a sign from them like Annie gave me. Or just a night of snuggling and looking in their eyes and seeing their pain like Rocky. You will know.
Please know that we are all here for you throughout the process. We may not know each other but we are all one bullie family. Sending big hugs to both you and your bullies. ❤️
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