BarkingStella
New member
- Oct 16, 2012
- 77
- 2
- Bulldog(s) Names
- Peggy ,Stella ,Gabby
I am pretty new to the forum. I have 3 beautiful bulldog girls. My bulldog, Angus died 5 months ago. I am really struggling. I think I let him down. Intellectually, I know that is untrue.
Some background...I was an addiction counselor for many years...burned out and worked in veterinary hospitals for many years. I was present when angus was born, loved him the moment I saw him. We had a healthy 8 years. He started limping, long story short the vet suspected bone cancer. We had to wait a month to re-X-ray. It was a front leg, he was very chest heavy and I knew we could not amputate if it was cancer. I made peace with that. I was elated when it turned out to be arthritis. I hated it, but we could deal with it. About a month later, he seemed to have choked, my husband thought he choked on a stick. We live in a rural area, it is an hour to the vet. Got some benedryl and prednisone. Had a return appointment but he wasn't improving, so went in early and saw the associate vet. She said he was probably just healing slow and keep an eye on him and stuck with what we were doing. Totally deteriorated over the next couple of days. We headed to the vet, knew we weren't going to make it, so stopped at the large animal practice on the way. We had him on oxygen, and I asked the vet if we should try to get him to his bulldog vet or stay there. He honestly thought we needed to go on, and sent us his oxygen machine. We almost made at, my husband driving like a madman, and me trying to save my dog. But we didn't, and I carried my dead baby boy into the vet. Our bulldog vet was waiting, even though it was his day off, and did an autopsy. Angus had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It is what makes healthy young athletes drop dead. I have had dogs most of my life. I have made the decision when it was "time". It has been awful. I have held other peoples pets when they are euthanized. I would never have put Angus through that last week. I should have insisted on an x ray when we saw the associate vet. He deserved a better passing. I would have told him to let go.
I don't know why I feel the need to tell this story. I guess it was so traumatic that I haven't been able to tell it out loud. I miss him, his smell, his snore, his white eyelashes...
My Stella pup, I got her when we had the bone cancer scare, cause I was not wanting to "replace" Angus. I had trouble bonding at first, but that is fine...she is a spectacular pup. Peggy and Gabby are retired breeding and show dogs, so I haven't had them since they are pups. I love them all. It seems that Angus was just one of those once in a lifetime dogs...
Thanks for listening...It helps to just talk about it.
Some background...I was an addiction counselor for many years...burned out and worked in veterinary hospitals for many years. I was present when angus was born, loved him the moment I saw him. We had a healthy 8 years. He started limping, long story short the vet suspected bone cancer. We had to wait a month to re-X-ray. It was a front leg, he was very chest heavy and I knew we could not amputate if it was cancer. I made peace with that. I was elated when it turned out to be arthritis. I hated it, but we could deal with it. About a month later, he seemed to have choked, my husband thought he choked on a stick. We live in a rural area, it is an hour to the vet. Got some benedryl and prednisone. Had a return appointment but he wasn't improving, so went in early and saw the associate vet. She said he was probably just healing slow and keep an eye on him and stuck with what we were doing. Totally deteriorated over the next couple of days. We headed to the vet, knew we weren't going to make it, so stopped at the large animal practice on the way. We had him on oxygen, and I asked the vet if we should try to get him to his bulldog vet or stay there. He honestly thought we needed to go on, and sent us his oxygen machine. We almost made at, my husband driving like a madman, and me trying to save my dog. But we didn't, and I carried my dead baby boy into the vet. Our bulldog vet was waiting, even though it was his day off, and did an autopsy. Angus had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It is what makes healthy young athletes drop dead. I have had dogs most of my life. I have made the decision when it was "time". It has been awful. I have held other peoples pets when they are euthanized. I would never have put Angus through that last week. I should have insisted on an x ray when we saw the associate vet. He deserved a better passing. I would have told him to let go.
I don't know why I feel the need to tell this story. I guess it was so traumatic that I haven't been able to tell it out loud. I miss him, his smell, his snore, his white eyelashes...
My Stella pup, I got her when we had the bone cancer scare, cause I was not wanting to "replace" Angus. I had trouble bonding at first, but that is fine...she is a spectacular pup. Peggy and Gabby are retired breeding and show dogs, so I haven't had them since they are pups. I love them all. It seems that Angus was just one of those once in a lifetime dogs...
Thanks for listening...It helps to just talk about it.