Tallulah is a 4-1/2 year old re-home, too. She's been home about 10 weeks now. We've been to the vet three times, had two rounds of antibiotics for different things, allergy pills, a cortisone shot, and more. She's had her nails cut three times. And just about 10 days ago, I let her out one morning, fed her and was in the bathroom getting ready when she rushed in and hid behind me with this really guilty look. Uh oh. I walked into the kitchen and she'd pooped on the floor. She'd been outside just about 15 minutes earlier. She pees in her crate if I give her any bedding. She peed on the new dog bed several times until I took it away from her for a few days. She's ridiculously stubborn about going for a walk, but when we get to the park (the far point of the walk) she LOVES to run around in the grass. She has SO much fun. But getting her there is a nightmare on lots of days. We've been working on "let's go" at obedience school, so I lure with lots of treats. Lots. She's a destructo chewer. She must be watched constantly.
I basically think of her like a toddler and make the same judgement calls I would with a 2-1/2 year old human. It works pretty well.
Treats: She was pretty snobbish about what she liked and that wasn't helping training. But with her allergies the choices were very limited. I finally found a bag of freezer dried salmon at the pet store. The chunks are about 1 inch square and I cut them up to tiny bits for training. She can smell those things from the other side of the house.
Chewing: Miss T chewed through a leather leash in two places during a 15 minute car ride. She had an orange squeaky toy that had a hole in it with the stuffing coming out in 5 minutes. The list goes on. I recommend a Kong (the regular red one has held up for us, but they make a black one for heavy chewers), a very big Nylabone (peanut butter flavored as she's allergic to the others), and a Bionic bone (bright orange, nearly clear plastic). The vet recommended the Nylabone and it's the one she loves best. But I sometimes stick a dog biscuit in the Kong and that gets her interested and excited about it for a few days. When I first did that 10 weeks ago it took her a good chunk of the day to figure out how to get all the dog biscuit how. Now I'm thinking we might be ready for puzzles. The Bionic is hollow and to get her to attack it at first I put a dab of peanut butter in it. She also had one of those pieces of firehose with a crunchy plastic in it, but it was a cheap version and when she put a hole in the hose, the plastic (which turned out not to be an old plastic water bottle) started coming out in sharp pieces. But it lasted a while and I might replace it. I make sure she always has something to chew, or she'll go find something I don't want her gnawing on.
Training: She loses interest in class at about the 45 minute mark, while the other dogs seems to go longer (even very young ones). She's been slow and stubborn. She knows certain things, but we have yet to truly move beyond the "doing is sometimes because I felt like it" stage to really trained. I figure we're going to go at whatever slow pace we go at and she'll get there eventually.
She does love to play and to get constant attention (petting, scratches). When she gets over-excited and "enough" isn't working I just ignore her. Ignore as in no eye contact or turn my back on her. If I left the room, she'd follow me. Usually, this helps her calm down after a few minutes.
Give Miss Lily some time, a comfortable place to sleep at night, a soft spot to lounge during the day and when she hanging out with you, a cool floor to stretch out on, some chew toys, daily walks, good food, and a regular schedule. I noticed it took Tallulah 10 days or so to get used to being in her new home, but only lately has she really seemed to start settling in. You'll get there!
