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Thread: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

  1. #13
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Quote Originally Posted by Momma2Bullies View Post
    Thank you all so much for your input, I really appreciate it (and everyone on this fabulous forum that has been a godsend for me!).
    i leave tomorrow, so I will steel myself and make sure I follow this advice! I know it will be difficult, but I need to change my ways!
    BTW, still no incident and the dogs have been left uncrated all week. This is a record, and I want it to stay this way!

    thanks again xo
    Good luck! Not sure if others mentioned this, but maybe have hubby crate the pups before you arrive and once they are calm.. release them. BUT, you stick to ignorance until they calm from the release... this way you are not tackled when you walk in the door.
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  2. #14
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Quote Originally Posted by 2BullyMama View Post
    Good luck! Not sure if others mentioned this, but maybe have hubby crate the pups before you arrive and once they are calm.. release them. BUT, you stick to ignorance until they calm from the release... this way you are not tackled when you walk in the door.
    This is an excellent idea as well

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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    I wanna add that for me, collars are scary. The pups can jump up and get caught on a drawer pull or something and hang themselves. (Cuttys breeder had one of her adopted out pups die this way and told me never to let them wear regular collars around the house) I used a harness with mii when she went thru her crazy phase and it worked well, along with the picking up of the hind legs which is the best way to break them up without getting bit.

  4. #16
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Haha thanks @kazzy220, there is a chance of that happening
    You were born with the ability to change someone's life, don't ever waste it.



  5. #17
    "Slug Assassin" and PBS Gardening Dweeb Vicaroo1000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Wonder how it's going? *checking in*

    It's awfully self aware to realize that YOU are the problem in your pack. So many Cesar episodes where this is the case and the human does not want to see it. Remember that episode with Rocky the Chihuahua? All of the problem was with the "mom" and when she realized this (after Cesar threatened to leave) everything changed for the better.

    It's hard not to share anxious / nervous energy when you are expecting a fight / trouble. Try to picture how the PERFECT MEETING would go and make that happen. Call upon your most calm and assertive self to "rule" over your pack! Are you Queen Victoria or perhaps Elizabeth Taylor or even Oprah? Channel your inner supreme being! Your dogs will appreciate it; they like to know where their place is in the pack === that is, they want balance.

  6. #18
    Pet Sitter Momma2Bullies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicaroo1000 View Post
    Wonder how it's going? *checking in*

    It's awfully self aware to realize that YOU are the problem in your pack. So many Cesar episodes where this is the case and the human does not want to see it. Remember that episode with Rocky the Chihuahua? All of the problem was with the "mom" and when she realized this (after Cesar threatened to leave) everything changed for the better.

    It's hard not to share anxious / nervous energy when you are expecting a fight / trouble. Try to picture how the PERFECT MEETING would go and make that happen. Call upon your most calm and assertive self to "rule" over your pack! Are you Queen Victoria or perhaps Elizabeth Taylor or even Oprah? Channel your inner supreme being! Your dogs will appreciate it; they like to know where their place is in the pack === that is, they want balance.
    Thank you! I am just about to post the update - I spent the entire plane ride ( 5 hours) visualizing my entrance and thinking of Cesar LOL!!!!
    My whole world

  7. #19
    Pet Sitter Momma2Bullies's Avatar
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    Default UPDATE: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Hi everyone!

    Well, I need your input once again... here is the update!

    I arrived home at abut 5pm local time. I had considered everyone's advice (that you so much!), I spent the plane ride reading the Monks of New Skete books (thanks again @GoldenRod!), remembering everything from Cesar, and really visualizing my entrance. In the car I talked to my BF about how we were going to go in - let him in first to calm the dogs, etc. Then I came in. It was very sweet to see them look surprised to see me, then excited, but I walked past them and brought my bags into the kitchen and let them sniff my feet (haha gross!). They were actually pretty calm, just looking up at me with little nubby tails wagging!

    Then I greeted them, and it was fine... I felt pretty good about things. They actually seemed to get over me pretty quick and just wanted to smell my suitcase. So I felt this was pretty good. We kept things as they had been, my BF has clearly taken excellent care of them and they looked fantastic (I was so impressed - this was the longest I have ever been away from the dogs, and it is a big deal for me to "trust" anyone (yes, even him, I am ashamed to say) with them, so this is very good!

    He gave them dinner, as he had been the past 2 weeks, and then he gave "dessert" (one extra kibble each LOL), BIG FIGHT broke out. I was way over at the sink drying dishes. I wasn't talking or even close to them. I was just there.
    G (my BF) was shocked... this was the first incident in 2 weeks.

    As the evening went on, there was another fight (Wilbur seemed cranky, and Layla seemed to want to give him a tune up). Again, I wasn't around for that one.

    Then in the bedroom, they were both in their beds, I asked G what he was watching and BOOM, a big fight again, and I didn't even see why ( I thought they were actually asleep).

    Needless to say I devastated. I had been back for 4 hours and there had been 3 fights. We are really trying to figure it out, because it is obvious that even though I might not be "doing" anything, I am clearly upsetting the dynamic.

    I 100% know that I am the problem.... I tried to be my most calm-assertive self, yet even when I wasn't in the room there were incidents. This is really breaking my heart.

    HELP!!!
    My whole world

  8. #20
    Pet Sitter Momma2Bullies's Avatar
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    Default Re: UPDATE: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Quote Originally Posted by Momma2Bullies View Post
    Hi everyone!

    Well, I need your input once again... here is the update!

    I arrived home at abut 5pm local time. I had considered everyone's advice (that you so much!), I spent the plane ride reading the Monks of New Skete books (thanks again @GoldenRod!), remembering everything from Cesar, and really visualizing my entrance. In the car I talked to my BF about how we were going to go in - let him in first to calm the dogs, etc. Then I came in. It was very sweet to see them look surprised to see me, then excited, but I walked past them and brought my bags into the kitchen and let them sniff my feet (haha gross!). They were actually pretty calm, just looking up at me with little nubby tails wagging!

    Then I greeted them, and it was fine... I felt pretty good about things. They actually seemed to get over me pretty quick and just wanted to smell my suitcase. So I felt this was pretty good. We kept things as they had been, my BF has clearly taken excellent care of them and they looked fantastic (I was so impressed - this was the longest I have ever been away from the dogs, and it is a big deal for me to "trust" anyone (yes, even him, I am ashamed to say) with them, so this is very good!

    He gave them dinner, as he had been the past 2 weeks, and then he gave "dessert" (one extra kibble each LOL), BIG FIGHT broke out. I was way over at the sink drying dishes. I wasn't talking or even close to them. I was just there.
    G (my BF) was shocked... this was the first incident in 2 weeks.

    As the evening went on, there was another fight (Wilbur seemed cranky, and Layla seemed to want to give him a tune up). Again, I wasn't around for that one.

    Then in the bedroom, they were both in their beds, I asked G what he was watching and BOOM, a big fight again, and I didn't even see why ( I thought they were actually asleep).

    Needless to say I devastated. I had been back for 4 hours and there had been 3 fights. We are really trying to figure it out, because it is obvious that even though I might not be "doing" anything, I am clearly upsetting the dynamic.

    I 100% know that I am the problem.... I tried to be my most calm-assertive self, yet even when I wasn't in the room there were incidents. This is really breaking my heart.

    HELP!!!
    My whole world

  9. #21
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    2BullyMama's Avatar
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    Default Re: UPDATE: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Quote Originally Posted by Momma2Bullies View Post
    I was away for the weekend and just saw this. So sorry they regressed in behavior... it might be a good idea to have a trainer come to the home to work with you and the pups. it is obvious the pups are feeding off of something you are not consciously aware of. Taking them to a trainer or a class will not tell you the issue, the trainer needs to observe what takes place at the home
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  10. #22
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    I suspect there is a interruption in the chain of command when you are in the picture. The Dogs are confused who is the leader in the four pack and are trying to establish themselves as well.

    Have you tried increasing the physical excerise and stimulation for the dogs while working through this? Doing so will give you the ability to command, control and show them who is boss at every chance possible. In addition to showing them that YOU are in charge and they have no need to decide for themselves both you and your husband can knock them back a few rungs on the latter.

    If you can establish who is the more dominate of the two, maybe this has changed due to health, age, or some other issue and the lesser dominate of the two feels he can step above but is getting met with a fight instead of allowing that to happen. Again by picking up on the signs and being able to separate and control the red zone before it happens will be key. And a tired happy dog will be easier for this as well.

    You can try to look up DSA "Dominance Status Aggression" and maybe that will help as it may be what your dealing with.
    http://petdoctormom.wordpress.com/ta...us-aggression/

    Hopefully you can go back to the basics, establish a chain of command, show them who is boss on a daily basis with everything from feeding, excersise, what they can and can't do and trying to pick up on the dominance between the two to find the trigger.

    If I think of more I will try help but I really am guessing and cannot speak as an expert on the subject by any means.

  11. #23
    The Ultimate Sourmug Sherry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    I wish I could say theres a magic word to use or a look you're not noticing, but I can't. In my honest opinion I believe they can smell your anxiousness. Your tension in your neck or movements expecting them to react to each other. they do watch every vibe you carry, good or bad. I really believe you don't even know you are doing it. I have this problem with my husband, he walks in the house, Peggy goes after Jack. Jack will bark like a madman most of the night unless I get real stern and pissed. I don't feel like getting pissed cause hubby is overly anxious to see them or is just a tad bit hyper during the day. I walk all five at the same time, while he has trouble with two. He allows them to be the lead. One will go in one direction and one will go the other direction. Crazy
    If it were me, I'd just walk out the door the next time they get into it. "that's it I had enough" !!!! might not be a good thing to do???? but you might get an answer.
    Life is like a box of chocolate covered

  12. #24
    "Slug Assassin" and PBS Gardening Dweeb Vicaroo1000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice needed....MY behaviour!

    Good stuff here.
    @Vince00 is talking about leadership rituals -- so important when reaffirming your position as the pack leader. I'm running late now but I am going to go check out that link, Vince!
    @Sherry - your experience is so valuable here!

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