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Thread: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

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    Kennel Cleaner mcardle3's Avatar
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    Default So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Jim (daddy to the dogs, my fiance) and I are having a MAJOR issue at our home.

    This all began when Jim was laid off two weeks ago and is now home all the time with the boys.

    The boys. Sherman (4 years old...had been the alpha), Custer (almost 2), Stonewall (10 months old).

    All three rescues. All three neutered.

    All three got along very well. Cleaning and grooming each other, sleeping in a pile of bulldogs, and then dad got laid off. Their schedule changed. Dad is (3 weeks now) home all day. Custer (2 year old) loves Dad like nothing else on earth. HOWEVER...now that dad is home all day, Custer insists on being near him, and if Sherman goes near them the fight is on.

    At first it was posturing and growling. It is now puncture wounds and tears.

    We separate them, but as soon as they are together if Dad is in the room...its on. Sometimes for no apparent reason. When Dad is out of the house and it is just me and them...no fights. The puppy is never part of these fights.

    As Custer is now 2 years old (or nearly) I understand he is getting more mature and may want to vie for dominance? I've never had t his issue in all the years I've had dogs.

    We know Jim is the issue. We know Custer is claiming him or demonstrating dominant behavior in regard to Jim...but how do you stop this.

    I'd imagine Jim has to stop it. They do not behave like this with me.

    Jim has never been with dogs before, so this is a learning thing for him. They obey me, they think about obeying him. It just makes me sad.

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    I'm so sorry. A lot on your plate right now for sure. I'm not the right one to help you..but I will try and get the attention of a few people. Hang in there!

    @Sherry...@Davidh...@cali~jenn..@Vicaroo1000

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    I'm not going to be able to help either just wanted to say good luck

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    Kennel Cleaner mcardle3's Avatar
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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Baconator View Post
    I'm not going to be able to help either just wanted to say good luck
    Thank you both. It is breaking our hearts. My fiance actually teared up about it today. I just want our happy house back. I am hoping we can get Custer straightened out, and jim fixed up with the knowledge to make it all alright.

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    What if you try something like letting Jim walk Sherman outside and leave Custer inside so he can't go after him. Or separate the rooms with baby gates so Jim can socialize with both of them.

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    This may sound amateur, but does the can of change and other super scary noises that break the pattern not helping at all? When my cats are fighting, like really going at it, that always does the trick. Every now and then, I have to put someone in time out, though.



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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Well anytime you see one posture over another stop it immediately, before the fight starts. Sometimes you don't have the chance to stop it though, so you need to look for the signs or the look right before the fight starts and stop it. I would start with having your husband walk them together. You may need to help at first to see how it goes. You take one and Hubby takes the other. If they start to fight or get aggressive you can stop it immediately. If they get on the couch with you or your husband, I would start by making them stay off the couch until they start getting along again. The one starting the fight I will grab by the side and submit them, but if you are not careful and do not know how to do it, you can get bit, so be careful. I think the walks will help and once they walk well together with the both of you, let hubby take both of them together, until they start getting along. This takes time and you need to be consistent with it. Make them earn or work for everything. They sit before eating, they sit before going outside and you go out the door first, they sit before they get affection, this is just some of the things you can try to get started. good luck.
    Last edited by Davidh; 11-19-2012 at 08:08 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidh View Post
    Well anytime you see one posture over another stop it immediately, before the fight starts. Sometimes you don't have the chance to stop it though, so you need to look for the signs or the look right before the fight starts and stop it. I would start with having your husband walk them together. You may need to help at first to see how it goes. You take one and Hubby takes the other. If they start to fight or get aggressive you can stop it immediately. If they get on the couch with you or your husband, I would start by making them stay off the couch until they start getting along again. The one starting the fight I will grab by the side and submit them, but if you are not careful and do not know how to do it, you can get bite, so be careful. I think the walks will help and once they walk well together with the both of you, let hubby take both of them together, until they start getting along. This takes time and you need to be consistent with it. Make them earn or work for everything. They sit before eating, they sit before going outside and you go out the door first, they sit before they get affection, this is just some of the things you can try to get started. good luck.
    Excellent advice ^^^^


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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Ouch. that hurts.
    I have 5 in the house, and sometimes my husband is alone with them too. I notice a big difference in their behavior when he enters the picture. this is just my opinion on my situation and what I believe although I don't have the huge fights you are dealing with. They do scrap a little around him only.
    Anyone of them will claim dominance because he doesn't know how too. It's the way a leader carry's themselves and has control of the situation, relaxed, calm and assertive. It might sound corny, but Cesar Milan is right on with this attitude, the posture say's it all. The quick response when necessary, The way he walks them, talks to them and gives attention to them. He needs to let them know he's boss not them. No baby talk. My husband is no better at this than your fiance. He want's to please the dog and make them happy, not to hurt there feelings. By letting the dog in charge adds a lot of pressure to the relationship between the dog and human. too much stress on the dog. The dog can relax when he knows he doesn't have to make choices or decisions. Given in to the pack leader will bring peace, and eventually he can occasionally baby talk them.
    I talk and talk and talk to my husband and then I get mad with him.
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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Ok, my bit of advice would be to have your husband make all the pups stay down off the furniture.maybe even have him give each a set place in the room away from eachother. Then have your husband tell them which one he wants at which time. I would think that having the one who is demanding his time to sit and stay while he gives his attentions to the next. I am far from an expert but it seems like he is claiming daddy and so he doesn't get him at all until he learns the rules. Same idea I did when miila was tryi to claim all the toys. I gave the toys to the other pups while she just sat watching and waiting. He should handle all feelings and this one should eat last until he steps back in line where he should be. Ad perhaps daddy should try hand feeding slowly and demanding sit, paw etc for each little bite. Sounds like he is not a pack leader and the pups know this. Will only get worse if it isn't handled I am sure. Hang in there we have MANY who know much about behavior and training so better advice will come. Much has already been given as well. Good luck to you, this is a tough situation for sure.

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    Ihave never had this problem with the EBD but I have had this problem with the Great Danes. The females would fight for Alpha dominance and it could get ugly. Working with them as previously advised is a good method and I also used a super soaker water gun filled with vinegar and lemon juice just in case they started battling. I squirted it right in their face and sometimes it got in their eyes but it stopped them. Not the preferred method but Danes are so large, you don't want to be in the middle when they start to fight. They would see me coming at them with the super soaker and run which normally stopped all fighting. High powered super soakers work pretty good. Good Luck!

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    Default Re: So hard...fighting and hurting each other :(

    I agree with @Davidh.

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