Huge Bump in the Road

Texas Carol

Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN
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Oh, my sweet, dear, big hearted, hard working girl...I'm so very sorry to
know how much you are hurting. You have to be just worn out, my love,
just completely worn down & wore out. Sherry, you have to take care of
YOU...I know your instinct is to take care of everyone & everything BEFORE
yourself but that eventually catches up with you and then collapses in on it's
self. Once you go down then NO ONE gets taken care of!

As many have said, slow way down, breath, breath, breath, rest, rest, rest.

You've got 2 weeks to make a decision on what you want and need to do.

Whatever you decide to do, it will be the right decision...no guilt, Sherry. Do
what you need to do, give this burden over to GOD, rest & relax then in 2 wks
make your decision & move forward. I would make it clear to Hubby, it's okay
to disagree and not participate BUT you shouldn't tolerate nagging, bitching &
making you feel bad...that's wrong. Do you need me to fly up & we'll tag team
his ***! I could use a vacation myself, let me check out prices and line up care
for Mother from her other THREE CHILDREN (I've not had one day away from
her in almost 3 years, they live ONE HOUR from me).

Know that you are being carried in my heart...always and I'm lifting you in prayer
to GOD...everyday. The answers WILL come, please step back from all the stress,
it's killing you, Honey. My phone went completely out since I last talked to you and
just got a new one tonight so if you tried to call & didn't get me, that's why-same #

Will call you tomorrow, early evening, my lovely Sherry. Much, much love....Carol

 

anatess

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Sherry, you've gotten really good advice so far. I agree with the marriage is #1, kids is #1.1, and pets are #1.2. I need my marriage to be tight so the kids will have what's best for them. And I need to have my family tight so I can properly care for the pets. A lot of times, the only way this works is if I compromise especially since I come from a completely different cultural background than my husband.

I am doing the dog food all by myself too. The first day I started raw, my husband posted on his FB - My wife is turning my dogs into vampires - and he had a ton of comments from his friends and family and it was just nasty... from salmonella, to them becoming wild, to them eating my children. My husband kept tagging me on them until I finally sat him down and told him - look, we went through this exact same thing when you decided our kids need pet snakes (we have 6 of them) and I stayed by your side to defend your decision.

I don't do anything with the snakes. My husband and kids take 100% care of them. That was the deal I made with him and the kids - I'm okay living in the house with 6 snakes but if you forget to feed them, they're going to die because there is NO WAY I'm doing it.

So now, the dog food is 100% mine. I don't tell him how to feed his snakes and I don't let him tell me how to feed the dogs. So, he says things like - you shouldn't give them chicken bones because it's going to kill the dogs - and so I tell him you stick with your snakes and leave the dogs to me. If they die you can give me a big I Told You So and you can skin my behind. I say it very lovingly, of course. We're both stubborn and opinionated and so I tend to choose my battles to only those that are really important to me - like the dogs and the kids.

And so then yesterday, my friend in church told me to stop feeding my dogs raw (she is in my husband's facebook) because there's this woman she knows that is feeding her dogs raw and her daughter is in the hospital right now because of salmonella poisoning. I smiled and said thanks for letting me know. I'll think hard about it. Of course, I'm not going to stop feeding raw... I know a guy who almost died of salmonella poisoning from his pet snake. I also know Diamond just recalled kibbles for salmonella and about 7 years ago, our local grocery pulled out beef that were suspected of having salmonella. Our kids are "trained" proper hygeine when handling pets because it just comes with pet-keeping, especially if you have reptiles. But for most people, this is just not acceptable and I understand where they're coming from. There's an organization - can't remember their name now - that ask volunteers to bring their dogs to cheer up the sick children. They made a drastic rule that raw fed dogs are not allowed in the organization anymore. There are dedicated members of that organization that have been bringing raw-fed dogs to cheer up children for over 25 years and to have the edict come down without warning really hurt them especially since it came as a leadership consensus (one of them brought an article written by Purina on the risks of raw feeding to the meeting and they made the decision right then and there) and not from a peer-reviewed research study of the risks of raw-fed dogs to health-compromised children. But, the raw feeders understood that this type of knee-jerk reaction is to be expected because of the perception of raw=dangerous, kibble=safe especially when put in the same sentence as "sick children".

And then just last Saturday, my husband and kids went on this impromptu trip to Orlando for some jiu-jitsu event. I'm not into this jiu-jitsu thing. The first day I took my kids to a class, the instructor was showing kids some kind of choke and I'm like, nuh-uh, I have been raising my kids all these years trying to protect them from things like this and now I'm basically paying good money so some kid can choke my kids. Nuh-uh. But I was voted down. So my husband started taking them to jiu-jitsu. So my kid finally got good enough for a tournament and so I decided to go to it and I didn't last 5 seconds. The other kid slammed him to the ground and I screamed and my husband took me out of the building. And that was my last tournament. Anyway, I wanted to go on this weekend trip to Orlando so I went with them and spent the whole day doing this jiu-jitsu thing. And so after all that was over I told my husband I want to drive to this lady's house so I can buy some green tripe and not pay for the shipping and do you know that my husband refused to do it! I was quite upset after sitting there all day with jiu-jitsu a stone's throw away from green tripe that I could save lots of money for not having to pay for shipping... Anyway, I got over it - I understand my husband's reluctance to do it.

But then yesterday, I went out to run errands and it was already 9PM and I was still running around. My husband sent me a text message with a picture of my dogs sitting patiently in the kitchen waiting for food. And so I replied, don't worry, I'm almost home. Then 10 minutes later, he sent me a text message with a picture of my dogs eating. He fed the dogs! Okay, so he fed him the wrong thing - he fed the entire package of kidneys that I just got from the store on sale so they're probably going to have cannon butt today but I am still very very very happy about it!

I know this is a long rambling story but all I really wanted to say was.... I feel your pain, sister! I am as stubborn and opinionated as my husband so we're used to having this pow-wow... but I have a really awesome husband - he's the very love of my life. If it ever comes to a point where it's the husband versus the dogs, the husband will always have the priority even while I'm hemming and hawing over it.

And about that alopecia... it can be the new protein or it can be because the grasses and pollen are coming out...
 
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Sherry

Sherry

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[MENTION=2874]anatess[/MENTION] I have been waiting for you to respond, it was well worth the wait. Thank you !!!! I fell like a member of the club now. :crazy_pilot:

I knew you'd have some great advise for me. and it really wasn't too long, it was just right
 

JAKEISGREAT

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@anatess I have been waiting for you to respond, it was well worth the wait. Thank you !!!! I fell like a member of the club now. :crazy_pilot:

I knew you'd have some great advise for me. and it really wasn't too long, it was just right


SHERRY....:eek: you are encouraging her. :shhhh:

I've been :bang: my head foreverrrrrrrr....now this will really set me back!


:D
 

anatess

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@Sherry, @JAKEISGREAT, you made my day today. LOL!

I forgot to mention about the dark poop. Not to gross out Becky or anything... LOL. Beef hearts make dark, almost black, poop. The heart is so bloody. Beef liver also make dark poop (also bloody) but I feed only 1.5 ounces of it at a time. Beef kidney, I find out, makes a darker poop but not as dark as heart or liver. And interestingly, my dogs did not get cannon butt from a meal of nothing but beef kidney. I think their digestive systems are now so used to raw food that they can process a meal of secreting organs and be just fine. We're on 2 1/2 months or thereabouts...

So now that my husband is loosening up on the raw feeding, I can bring up raising our own quails and rabbits for him to butcher... he's going to flip out. LOL!
 
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Texas Carol

Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN
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Have you thought (you might already be doing this) about rabbit, deer, etc,
buying from local hunters and/or small rabbit businesses, may be more
cost effective, also more sources of proteins. Love you, Honey! Carol
 

luseaann

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My husband leaves the raw feeding to me. If I feed them chicken, I just rip off the skin and any fat, and plop it in their bowls. Some meats, like liver, I sear the outsides. Not so much because I fear salmonella, but more because it makes it more appetizing even for the ladies. He really didn't like the idea of the raw feeding so much, but since he doesn't want to feed anybody, I got my way. He can tell how strong and healthy they are. They rarely have any health issues at all. I don't think I would be able to do it if I had to grind everything up though. I wish you luck in deciding what is right for your family. You'll get through this.
 
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Sherry

Sherry

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Big Exhale, thanks everyone, and Happy Easter, we had a very good time of it since last weekend. :whew: I will be grinding more tomorrow. and from now on the boneless meat will just be cut up in bite size pieces. I appreciate all the love and support, truly you all are a gift
 

anatess

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[MENTION=1714]Sherry[/MENTION], how is it going? Hope things are doing better for you! I was thinking, if chopping is easier than grinding, then maybe you can go with just boneless meats to chop up and then buy those organic bone meals? I haven't really looked into how good those bone meals are but it might be worth looking into. How are the pups looking?

Just to give you added hope... I went out of town for 3 days and my husband fed the dogs all 3 days... so then, I come home. I was getting ready to take out the food from the freezer that morning and it was already out! My husband did it before he went to work! He says he just got used to doing it, it was so easy.

Yes, yes, I'm going to clean all 6 ball python habitats for him this weekend. I'll surprise him with it. So yes, I'll have to grit my teeth and grab all 6 of the slithering beasts. LOL. Wish me luck!
 

Texas Carol

Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN
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@Sherry, how is it going? Hope things are doing better for you! I was thinking, if chopping is easier than grinding, then maybe you can go with just boneless meats to chop up and then buy those organic bone meals? I haven't really looked into how good those bone meals are but it might be worth looking into. How are the pups looking?

Just to give you added hope... I went out of town for 3 days and my husband fed the dogs all 3 days... so then, I come home. I was getting ready to take out the food from the freezer that morning and it was already out! My husband did it before he went to work! He says he just got used to doing it, it was so easy.

Yes, yes, I'm going to clean all 6 ball python habitats for him this weekend. I'll surprise him with it. So yes, I'll have to grit my teeth and grab all 6 of the slithering beasts. LOL. Wish me luck!

​Kudos to you both!
 

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