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Thread: Should I be okay with this?

  1. #1
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    Default Should I be okay with this?

    I just want some rational opinions on this.

    My boyfriend Tim and I will have been dating for 1 year on August 23rd. I'm 20, he's 23. It's a serious relationship and we strongly believe we're going to end up getting hitched one of these days, ha. We're very committed to each other and have a great relationship..we tell each other everything, we're very honest and trust worthy, etc, etc.

    I still live with my mother. I can't afford to move out on my own yet. I go to school full time and work and am taking CNA classes this summer. I'm hoping to get out of my mom's house as soon as I can but right now I simply can't afford it.

    He lives in a 2 bedroom townhouse with a male room mate right now. They signed a year lease and that lease expired this July. The room mate told Tim he wanted to stay another year, so Tim signed the lease for another year.

    Well, last week the room mate decided he was moving out in October. So, Tim is now stuck at this townhouse and needs another room mate. He wants to stay there, don't get me wrong. he's just really annoyed (as am I!) that the room mate is bailing on him. He can afford the $650 rent a month as well as all his utilities and other bills..but doing that would make money extremely tight and he would have nothing extra, what so ever. So needless to say, he's looking for another room mate.

    The only person that's had interest in moving in with him so far is a girl. I haven't met her yet but I think I'm going to meet her Tuesday. From what I've heard from other people..she kind of acts flirty with Tim. I have her as a friend on Facebook (she's in Tim's book club and added me.) and she's constantly commenting on his stuff and asking me about him or him about me. I believe she's his age. She just recently (I think a month ago) got a boyfriend. I'm not sure how good their relationship is, but I'm worried that she may be interested in Tim a little bit. Call me slightly jealous I guess.

    Should I be okay with him living with a girl?? I can't move in with him because a)I can't afford it and b)they don't allow pets at that place and I have Delilah as well as my two rats. Plus, we aren't sure that we want to live together yet. We aren't sure if we want to live together before we're married. That's still up for discussion..I really don't know what we think about that yet.

    I'm just somewhat concerned about another girl living there. He walks around his house in his underwear and I reaaaallly don't want her seeing that. I don't want to feel like I'm competing with another woman. She's skinny and athletic and has the perfect body and I'm short and chubby and can't lose weight no matter how much I work out. I'm insecure as all get out and I'll be the first to admit it.

    I want Tim to have a room mate and be financially comfortable without stressing. This is NOT set in stone. He said he plain out won't do it if it is going to bother me that much. I trust Tim. Just don't know if I trust her, lol. He's still looking into other options as well. Help?


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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Hmmm, well I see it this way... If Tim is truely in love with you that female will not phase him at all. She could throw herself at him and he wouldn't be interested. Have you talked to him about your concern about that chick moving in??


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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    If he's committed to you, then you have nothing to worry about... if he is not taking your relationship seriously, then you do have something to worry about, but then again, at least you would know.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I agree with @Telly03. My husband Chris would never entertain another woman's advances and I know this whole heartedly...however I still don't like the idea that other women we know are flirty with him because I don't like other women trying to encroach on my man. So I get you 100%.
    But it sounds to me like Tim likes his women short, chubby, beautiful and wonderful just like you so this tall skinny bird has a cat in hells chance of getting your man.
    Talk to Tim be honest and tell him you are very uncomfortable with this, not because you don't trust him but you don't trust her. I'm sure you can work something out chick xx good luck!

    hey and believe me tall skinny ladies are insecure too....what I wouldn't give for boobs and a curvy figure. I've seen your pics your beautiful xx

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Well I agree talk to him about your feelings on this. If it is bothering you now just thinking of it, imagine how it will come between you later. I agree if he isnt going to cheat then you should be fine BUT if you are uncomfortable with it then that in itself can create problems and break you up. If it were me with my hubby I would feel the same way and not want that to happen. NOT because I dont trust him, he is the most trustworthy person ever but girls play dirty and unless this is a mutual friend (not just a fb friend) that you trust I would def talk to him. I understand you not moving in maybe esp if they dont allow dogs. That sucks. Before he signs the next contract maybe get him to look into a place that does. Not that it helps you now. I am all for living together before marriage because too many people get divorced these days cuz they marry without knowing what they are getting into. You are young tho, take your time.

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    Default

    I say hellll no!! Trust is important, but it will give you unnecessary reasons to bicker. And you will get jealous, even if you trust him. He can find a guy room mate!

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I agree with @desertskybulldogs, Hell No!!! I know Joe would not even give another girl a second glance, but I would not feel comfortable if he had a female room-mate!!!! You have until October right??? I would tell him my feelings and hold out for a male room-mate. I can tell by your post it is already a concern.

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    All the ladies are giving u excellent advice speak with him. Tell him exactly hoe you feel. And like they said if he truly loves u evetythingvwill work out good luck

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I agree with the male room mate....just makes more sense to me.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I agree with everyone, especially @desertskybulldogs and @KMARINO . Yes, you trust Tim, but if you're uncomfortable with another woman living there, then he should find a way to get a guy housemate. Being in a relationship requires hard work so there's no need to put unneeded stress like what you had described. I'm sure he's smart and things will work out.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Tell him to put an ad in the paper. I would NOT let my boyfriend/finance/whatever he might be have a roommate that was a girl, especially when you have a feeling that she's interested in him. Guys don't get it sometimes, how would he feel if you got a place with another guy - probably the same way you're feeling now!

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Honestly..I'd kick her a**. So my answer is NO!

    I just saw where you wanted rational opinions! I don't have one of those!
    Last edited by JAKEISGREAT; 07-10-2011 at 07:55 PM.

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