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Thread: Should I be okay with this?

  1. #25
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    back before i meet jeff i was living with a guy, which i knew 3 yrs prior to moving in with him, and well there was nothing going on between us EVER! When i moved in i had meet jeff just 4 months after and he was up front with me and did he didnt like the idea that the girl he was seeing was living with a guy. after he meet the roommate he knew why nothing was going on and was good on us living together haha.. they became good friends and we all still hang out ever once in a while

    another thing you should think about, Jeff and I both agreed to this..... we are living together for 2 yrs before marrige. we want to see how we handle different things in evryday life and want to make sure that we can stand living together haha... we are going on 2 years and are still going strong, of course had some rocky ground but we were able to work it out and everythings back to normal usualy after people get married they "change" well after the 2 years how much more can you actually change?
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    @Telly03 I agree about not crossing the line and actually I mostly had guy friends myself thru the years cuz girls are well.... drama. haha My husband and I met eachother in the same group of friends actually and we were best friends for some time before we did cross the line. Wasnt until much later that I realized why most of the guys were friends with me, not so much cuz they wanted to be friends. haha Your daughter will be fine, I was just harassing you a bit. I am sure I will get my payback when my girls are much older. I dont even want to think about it. Ugh... Your daughter is out on her own at 18, nowadays that says a lot for who she is.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Ok....I really had to stop myself from just going to the bottom and responding. This is what I think. NO.

    What? You want me to explain? Oh, okay. Well....think of all the people you know (but you are still a kiddo, so you might not know any) who's relationships have ended due to cheating. It doesn't even have to be real people..they could be fictional. (I admit...I actually don't know anybody who have split due to cheating) So, I'm thinking along the lines of tv shows, Jerry Springer, books, etc.... It seems to me the cheating party always says............"I was drunk." "it didn't mean anything." "it only happened once." What I'm getting at is this.....NO! Don't add the stress to your young relationship. He has several months to find another renter. Don't let the problem move in. It already makes you uncomfortable.......you don't need that in your life right now. (I'm listening to Tru TV right now and the are rehashing a court case and the lawyer just said "she tried to seduce him........") It's all over the place. Keep your relationship uncomplicated.
    My husband gave my 16 year old niece some advice just the other day. He told her "guys and girls can't be friends. Not only that, guys have no interest in being friends with girls. Oh, they have an interest in the girl alright, it's just not to be friends!" I know that's not good advice for your situation...but it's still something to keep in mind. (now they are talking about casual sex) Sheeeeesh!

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Well if you are a jealous person then that is a def. no. My response was if you werent a specifically jealous person so in this case it is only stronger as a no. lol. I am not a jealous person in general but if in the situation could turn into one and I think anyone could if they are pushed. Hopefully he will find a male roomate, not thru the classifieds and you will all be happy. But 1 thing I am kinda thinking.... I know you are young and only been together a year but if you are thinking you will end up married etc then wouldnt he be thinking of a diff place to live being that you do have Delilah? Or is that so far in the future it isnt even a thought yet?

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I'm sorry I missed this lively discussion......I've been really busy at work, and haven't logged on to EBN in a week or so.

    Everything that needs to be said has been said. There has to be a way to find a male roommate (and respect your wishes). Also, since you have admitted your jealousy, that definitely puts another red flag on the situation.....go with your gut.
    I've learned over the years that a woman's gut/initial reaction is always spot on.

    Totally irrelevant to your situation, my only (late) input to this discussion is that it IS possible for men and women to be friends......I have several very close female friends, all at work. We've seen each other socially outside the office, and my wife is okay with this.......she trusts me, and knows I would never do anything to ruin our marriage.

    But I am 46 and not 23 any longer......experience (and tiredness) have hopefully made me a little wiser with my female relationships. Also, I don't live with my female friends, that makes things a bit easier LOL

    My philosophy has always been to keep out of situations that may be too tempting. This might work in this situation.

    BTW, how does he feel about your bulldog?

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I want to thank @BullyBlair and @Libra926...BUT..I DON'T HAVE ANY THANKS RIGHT NOW!! sO I AM YELLING!! Ok..I'm better now.

  7. #31
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    @BullyBlair he loves Delilah, he just doesn't want to admit it, LOL. He puts up with her. He likes to make fun of her and say kinda mean things to her but he's just kidding around because he doesn't want me to know he loves her, LOL. I caught him the other day in my room hugging her and kissing her face and she was licking him and he was all like "Awww Delilah we love each other" blah blah blah... I didn't tell him I caught him.

    So, I met this chick last night. She seems okay and I'm really not that worried about her being a threat. I didn't mind talking to her. She seems pretty infatuated with her own boyfriend and really didn't seem that interested in Tim. Apparently he said some comment one night that she thought was racist and now she's not as interested in him..rofl.

    There's basically no chance that she's moving in. So I guess I really don't have to worry about it now?? Either way this has been an interesting discussion and I appreciate everyone's input!

    Now the problem is finding a room mate..that's a man...lol!


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    Quote Originally Posted by JAKEISGREAT View Post
    I want to thank @BullyBlair and @Libra926...BUT..I DON'T HAVE ANY THANKS RIGHT NOW!! sO I AM YELLING!! Ok..I'm better now.
    I just almost fell out of my chair, I laughed so hard!!! Lol
    You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
    but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

    Live Genuinely


  9. #33
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    @cali~jenn Oh I see, just harassing me abit... well let me add that all this would not be an issue if women were able to control themselves

  10. #34
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    @laurendoodler. I'm so glad to hear this has pretty much worked itself out. . He'll find a way to make it work and keep you both happy.

    Also, I agree with @lexterwayne. Living together is a major plus. (However, if you don't want to live together for religious reasons, I understand too.). My husband and I lived together almost from the day we met. (which I don't advise, just telling the story). We worked opposite shifts and literally never had a day off together until after we were dating about 4 months. So it started with me staying at his place every night (we literally just slept in the same bed! Great relationship! Lol), and after 3 months we signed our first lease. It was a winter rental and we discussed what would happen if we broke up etc. It was probably one of the best things I've ever done; I learned to love him for everything he is (and isn't!). I knew him so much better than I had any other guy I had dated. Now, I was older than you - 25 years old - so you have plenty of time. My only other thought is maybe moving in together after being engaged? Feels like it makes more sense. Of course too, with many guy friends, I've heard "Why buy the cow when you already get the milk?" too so that makes me skeptical about some guys too. Just my thoughts. You guys will figure out what works for you as you go. Always go with your gut instinct in all situations; that usually is the best indicator for us women! And for me, the most ignored when I was younger!!! Lol. My mistakes were worth it though, it brought me to where I am now.
    You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
    but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

    Live Genuinely


  11. #35
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    @Chunksmama haha thanks for that

    Id be okay with the moving in after being engaged, I think.

    However, he royally pissed me off last night. He said "he wouldn't want me moving in with him and getting the idea that he wants to marry me."

    Personally, I think after a year and him buying me a "promise ring" for my birthday back in April I have a right to think that?

    It hurt my feelings. Because what I want more than anything in life is to be married and have a family.


  12. #36
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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I'll also add that I kind of have an "old soul." I had to grow up too fast from stuff that happened to me so I think a bit differently.

    And half of my high school class is either engaged or married.


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