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Thread: Should I be okay with this?

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Im sorry Im with @desertskybulldogs and @KMARINO hell no! I see all kinds of problems cropping up and your already having trouble and your just talking about her moving in. If you two are not ready to move in together why should he get to live with another woman before you. Let him get a male roomate till you and him can move in together. Save yourself alot of hassle and say no to this. Just my 2 cents

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    HELL NO!!! We men are ALL weak and easily persuaded..... especially in these 'things'...

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    I could not handle that arrangement at all. Are you kidding? I'm even jealous that my husband had a crush on Debbie Reynolds. Is she even still alive!! LOL


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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Hello,
    I was surprised to start reading this. I kept expecting the part about a dog? So, Now I have read through all of the posts as well. Tough spot to be in for you and him. on one hand you say that you don't want to live together until your married. I read this as an issue with celibet. No comment about this but, herer are a few options to consider;
    1. Move in with him and you live in the extra bedroom. You each have your own space. About your dogs, leave them at your parents house.
    2. have him break the lease. It might cost him some money, but better the money than the relationship.
    3. keep looking for a MALE roommate. Don't jump at the first opportunity (no pun intended).

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I have to agree with the majority. Have him get a male room mate. No use putting up with this sort of drama.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I would like to thank everyone for the replies! I have read through all of them and really appreciate it.

    I think I'm meeting this girl at Book Club tonight, lol. So we'll see how that goes down.

    I don't think he's too keen on her moving in in the first place. They've only briefly talked about it, and I highly doubt it'll happen unless he gets desperate. He really wants a male room mate. I looked on Craigslist and couldn't find anyone. Didn't think about the paper..I'll mention that to him. He wants it to be someone he knows but I'm kind of doubting that will happen.

    @MatildasMommy yes, I've talked to him about my concern. he thinks I'm over reacting as he states he wouldn't do anything.

    @Telly03 he does take our relationship seriously..right now it's just a matter of me being a bit jealous, I guess..and being a worry wart.

    @Lucy-licious! aww thanks. I don't think he would entertain the idea of being with her. But once again, I'm kind of jealous and a worry wart.

    @cali~jenn exactly, girls do play dirty!! I know I've thought about "playing dirty" before haha but never did just because I'm not like that. That's my main concern is that he'll get lured in.

    @desertskybulldogs jealousy is the main issue here..I'm highly jealous!

    @KMARINO I don't think I'll be comfortable either. And yes, until October he thinks. He really wants a male room mate. He doesn't want to worry about all this.

    @savemejeebus Tim is a very smart guy, haha, he just doesn't want to have to keep looking for a room mate! He's kind of annoyed at his current one. And I don't blame him!

    @JAKEISGREAT lol becky, you make me laugh xD

    @cowsmom it's not necessarily that we aren't ready to move in together. We would do fine with it I think. We just aren't sure if we should do that before we're married. We don't want to potentially ruin a good thing, you know?

    @Fontanafox haha! See, I get jealous when he talks about finding actresses attractive. pathetic, I know. But I don't sit there and go "ohhh OMG RYAN REYNOLDS I'D SO DO HIM" around him like he does with me and the girls he finds attractive >.>

    @ABEBD this is probably TMI but we've kind of already ruined the celebit thing. He's really Catholic and was brought up to wait until marriage but I guess something happened, lol. We're both Catholic and don't regret it at all. It's just we don't know if we should move in together before we're married. I think it might kind of take the fun out of getting married I guess, like that's something to look forward to? Maybe I'm being silly. I would never leave Delilah at my parent's house..nooo way. She's my dog, I pay for her food and vet bills and everything. As much as they love Delilah, they wouldn't want to watch her. He's not going to break the lease..he's too comfortable where he's at. And he's trying to find a male room mate. He's just entirely too picky and wants it to be someone he knows well, which I keep telling him probably isn't going to happen.


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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    I'm going to change my take on this... Although I maintain that it could be OK as long as nobody has any issues... my daughter actually informed me yesterday that she has a new room mate, which is a guy. I asked her how her boyfriend feels about it, and she claims that he's fine with it, they are friends. Now there is a big "however" in that if you are uncomfortable with it, and you have right to be, he needs to be considerate of that and make new plans. Make sure he knows you are uncomfortable before she moves in, not after.

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    @Telly03 and how do YOU feel about that?!?! haha You know as well I as I do there is only 1 reason men are friends with women (unless they are co friends to a couple of course)

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Well the way I look at is, I care enough about my wife's feelings (or girlfriend in this case) that I would not put her in this situation and would not get a female roommate. Just say-in.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidh View Post
    Well the way I look at is, I care enough about my wife's feelings (or girlfriend in this case) that I would not put her in this situation and would not get a female roommate. Just say-in.
    Well put!! Amen to that!

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    Default Re: Should I be okay with this?

    Quote Originally Posted by cali~jenn View Post
    @Telly03 and how do YOU feel about that?!?! haha You know as well I as I do there is only 1 reason men are friends with women (unless they are co friends to a couple of course)
    I'll admit that it bothers me that she even has a boyfriend while she is outside of parental control... I have to keep reminding myself that she is 18 now. She's a very smart girl, but I'm sure there is going to be a lesson for her to learn from all this, but isn't that what being on your own is all about? As long as you learn from the lessons.

    And @cali~jenn , I'm not going to agree with you on your male tunnel vision belief LOL , I have pulled off some close female friendships without crossing that line, even with what I perceived as a clear opportunity, solely for the reason that I knew it would change the dynamics of the relationship... Once you cross that line your either now dating your friend, or it becomes too awkward to continue an honest friendship with them while your dating someone else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidh View Post
    Well the way I look at is, I care enough about my wife's feelings (or girlfriend in this case) that I would not put her in this situation and would not get a female roommate. Just say-in.
    I think that is the perfect statement!!! However, I HAVE lived with male roommates where nothing went on and have a many close guy friends. (Note: I love cars and learning to work on them, used to ride motorcycles, am a total junkie for anything that goes fast including jetskis and boats basically. So I tend to have a different relationship with guys than most girls. I like to get dirty but also like to get girly. Many of these guys think of me as a "little sis". Not saying there has never been an attraction one way or the other but I've always made my friendship status very clear to all men. Easier that way. Us Jersey girls tend to be pretty bluntly honest!). That being said, any added stress in a relationship is not worth it. He has plenty of time to find someone and like you said he can handle it on his own for a little bit at least.

    Another thought, try to be friendly with this girl and see how your gut instinct is. I really believe our gut is a very strong tool!

    Does he rent in an apartment complex? Do they have other apts that are smaller? Very often landlords will work with you rather than having to deal with the prospect of you not paying! Maybe talk to the landlord and let him/her know the predicament and see what they say! They may be willing to work with him. Also, is the soon to be former roommate on the lease? If so, he should be held accountable for leaving early.

    Last question, did you say the rent is $650 for a 2 bedroom?! If so, I'm going to faint. We pay more than double that here in Jersey!!!!!!
    You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
    but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

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