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Thread: Am I being too harsh?

  1. #1
    Lucy-licious
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    Default Am I being too harsh?

    I feel really hacked off with my in-laws.
    Andrew my eldest boy is 21 on 9th August. We have been through a lot but seem to be getting there now and I am excited and emotional cos my baby is all grower up.
    Anyways we have always had big family get togethers on birthdays, my nieces 18th n 21st, my nephews 18th and Andrew's 18th too. So I am making arrangments for THE meal only to be told the original date I planned isn't good for my MIL so I change the date, now I find that out of 12 relatives only 2 are coming... I feel let down and upset by their lack of interest in MY boys 21st birthday.
    "it's just inconvenient" was my MIL's comment like his birthday should be moved. I am so P**sed and I so rarely get angry with them like this.
    Am I being unreasonable or are they being thoughtless?
    I am now feeling that rather than him know they don't care I will do something else and forgoe their so called tradition. Ooooh if it was Hayley or Dan (his cousins) guaranteed they would all be there.
    Sorry if there are spellings in here I have been drowning my sorrows

  2. #2
    I couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried! Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    Drowning your sorrows?? , I have the most disfunctional family ever! I would plan your son's 21st birthday at YOUR convenience and stick with it. If they do not show up it is THEIR loss!! Make is special so that he does not even notice who is missing. I have had to do this with my X-husband because his parents were divorced if one showed up the other wouldn't, (even at our wedding) so I thought "SCREW THIS" I planned an event, everyone was invitied and it was their choice to show up or not. I feel it was their loss, not mine. I hate family issues and drama!!

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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    I agree with @KMARINO. Throw his 21 st party when you want to. Oh, and don't worry I am used to reading misspelled words.


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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    I agree with @KMARINO..I swear..why are families so cruel to each other? Don't tell your son why..just make it even more special. No matter how old they are..it will hurt their feelings to know! When my husband and I were planning our wedding..my future mother in law informed us she couldn't attend the day we chose because there was a frickin church meeting that day! well that started a whole feud between his mom and mine..his feelings were crushed. So..we got up one day and flew to Vegas and got married by the justice of peace! Then we flew home same day and told both sets of parents. Of course his was happy..mine not so much. But deep down I know my dad was thrilled! Saved him beaucoup bucks! Never really forgave his mother. Do for your son and the hell with the fools that would act like this!

  5. #5
    heff101
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    Ok so are you celebrating this birthday for your son or for your extended family?

    Screw what others think you do it for your son and your son only.

    Maybe just cancel it all and take your son out for a nice evening.

    Wanna bet they will all be insulted then! They expect you to be hurt so shrug it off laugh at them and move on.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    Agreed! It's your sons celebration. Do whatever you want to make it his special time.
    Then, If nothing else next time any of those who choose to be too busy to attend plan a function, it will be your turn to be too busy.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    I agree with everyone else and I have been there. My brother's kids are the "perfect" grandkids...urgh. Anyway Celebrate with him, do something very special and something he won't forget, he might enjoy the immediate family better anyway.

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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    Hef has a great idea... cancel the whole friggin. thing and go out... a 21 year old would probably enjoy that more anyway. screw em. all!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    I agree with everyone, forget about the rudeness and go have dinner at a really nice restaurant with your sons and husband. At least that way you'll have some quality time and good conversations with the people you love best. Don't forget to invite Andrews gf though, if he has one. lol.

  10. #10
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    You should take him to Vegas that would be a awesome 21st birthday!!!! Or a cruise something fun like that
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  11. #11
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    Most kids rather celebrate with friends in my neck of the woods. One time my daughter didn't have any friends available to party with and I was kind of the "last choice." You never seen anyone so unhappy on her birthday so of course I was unhappy too. It's nice to know that there are young adults who still want to celebrate with family.
    Wilson & BabyGirl

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Am I being too harsh?

    I don't blame you at all for being upset with them. Families can seriously be ridiculous. I'm with @KMARINO, I hate family drama!

    Coming from someone who is about your son's age..I just say the heck with it with the whole thing and just your immediate family take him out to do something fun. It'll be better than being stressed out and worried about the extended family. I wouldn't want to worry about all of their crap on my birthday!


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