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Thread: For those of you that pray...

  1. #13
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    Prayers of strength and healing from here too. Hugs.

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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    wow! kelly, i just read this thread. i always forget to read the posts in not bulldog talk.

    i will pray for you and your son. i can't imagine how hard it is to see someone with so much potential careen down the worst path and for you to be powerless to stop them. I know it breaks your heart and that makes me sad for you. you are doing the right thing by cutting him off. you just need to stay strong. i can't really give you advice, but i can always listen!

    my dad and my half sister are both addicts. my dad was a raging alcoholic for years, he also smoked marijuana and did coke. he sobered up in '85, two years after he "mail ordered" my mom from the philippines. i was born in '86 and he stayed sober until '98. he started drinking again, switching out coffee in the morning for a natural ice. then it was full blown drinking, smoking pot, opium, traveling to juarez to buy coke, heroin, and pills, along with visiting mexican hookers. my dad just got worse and worse and worse. i would watch him cook and shoot up, cut lines, and vomit all over the house from being so drunk. he'd beat the hell out of my mom while i listened or watched from the next room. His rock bottom was in '99 when he blew his brains out in front of my sister who was renting a house across the street from us. After seeing that, my sister became an alcoholic and is addicted to coke and heroin and has dabbled with meth. she has hepatitis c now, but that still isn't her rock bottom. By God's grace my half brother and I aren't addicts, but I think that would be different if i was in front of my dad when he chose to die.

    I really hope for your peace and your son's health that he can come out of this. it may take incarceration, and considering the nature of addiction, i'm hoping he steals something big enough to get himself committed. he'll be forced to get clean and recover and hopefully find the solace he was seeking in drugs, in God instead. He is still so young and he is better than this!

    What about "intervention"? i know you said he is super smart, so i don't know if he could be tricked into doing a documentary about addiction, but i guess it would be worth a shot. and a&e can pay for treatment.

    Well, i love you, along with the rest of your family here. We'll always be here for you, sending love and prayers your way!

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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    I don't get down here enough and just saw this also. I'm so very sorry for all you are going through. It's so hard seeing someone you love being so self destructive and feeling so helpless. I'll say a prayer for you and Brandon .
    "A bulldog is like a potato chip, you can never have just one"

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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    Kelly, I too have just read this and my heart is sad for you. I know how you feel and what you are going through. I also have a son, 21, that has been in and out of drugs and trouble. He hit rock bottom when he started hullicinating at home (from drugs obviously) and i freaked out. Never in my life have i seen something like that. He talked to his hairbrush like it was his phone and on the way to rehab 6 hours away he thought he was smoking a "joint" and when he passed it to me (not really doing this) I lost it and jumped into the back seat and just about beat the crap out of him. We have spent so much $ on rehab clinics (3 at minimum $800 per night and stay is 14 - 45 days). It is incredible. We have been thru heck with him and finally we had to cut it off and we did and that was very hard. We are in a better place now. He is living with us and although he does not have a job (which is an issue for me) he is in school and doing a million times better and honestly I did not see that 1 year ago so your son can overcome this. Michael cut off all ties to his old life and on a different track right now but more importantly he wanted to do that. It was so sad to see him in that state because he did not look like my michael. Now he does and it has been a blessing but each day is a challenge for him and will be for a while. Keep your chin up. I know that is hard to do. It was very hard for us to get up and go on with our every day life but we also have a 5 year old daughter, who worships the ground michael walks on, so we had to do it for her. I think too he also wanted to do good for her. I remember so many times watching him cry as he watched her.

    I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Don't think you are in the boat alone because your not...we are all with you. If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.
    I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner

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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    Sorry to hear that you and your son are struggling, Kelly. Please know that we're all here for you. I don't have first hand experience, but I have had friends who had such a bright future, but instead chose the wrong path. It was very difficult to watch, so I can't imagine how it is for you. Hugs from Stiggy and I to you and your hubby, and also your son.

  6. #18
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    I've sat reading this trying not to cry cos i know ur pain and how hard u are finding it at the moment,
    My eldest son Andrew is 21 he is also an addict, he has stolen, lied and cheated us to get whet he needs to get through the day. Last november he sunk lower than i ever thougt and stole a diamond necklace my husband had bought me the year i graduated. That for me was the last straw i didnt even tell him to pack as i had before i just opened the door and told him to go. There is not a day passes that i do not regret my decision but I must stay stronge.
    Andrew is a man and can make adult decisions about his life. There is only him who can come back from this, no amount of begging and pleading on my part will make that day come sooner, all it will do is keep him down and help him carry on.
    I have a younger son who needs me to be there for him and i do not want Andrew to influence him i any way, that may sound heartless because Andrew is my son too but he must hit the bottom and make the decision to stop himself, when he does I will be there to hold his hand every step of the way, for now i must step back and tread the toughest road of watching my beautiful baby boy destroy himself and hope he finds he rigt way soon
    @KMARINO stay stronge and big hugs from me and mine xxxxx

  7. #19
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    @Lucylambchop, I know all to well and feel your pain. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I am in counceling for my own personal grief and guilt, it does help, but I still sit and cry my eyes out almost every day.
    Angie if you ever need to talk let me know, I have been dealing with this for almost 3 years now. I know how you feel, you know how I feel, people can sympathize and try to understand, but from one mother of an addict to another, only we know the pain in our hearts. ANY time you need to talk let me know.

  8. #20
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    i am so sorry kelly.. that is a hard drug to get off he just needs your strength and love to get through this. i know im being very blunt but have worked with this kind for to long and my ex was a very bad alcoholic. the only way for them to stop is they have to be willing to find the help. whatever you do do not blame your self for this this is something that he decided to try that one time... just keep doing what you are doing send him your love show support but no money or let him into your house till he is clean... maybe he needs to go to therapy?? wonder if he would...

  9. #21
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    I just saw this too and my love goes to you, Brandon and your family.

    There is nothing you can do now .. it's out of your hands. Brandon has to reach a low enough depth to make him want to not go any deeper, and this is something that you nor anybody else can help him with. Brandon's own personal bottom/low is only known to him, and he has to get there all on his own. Some choose not to come back from the lowest of the low, and they choose to stay there and that is something you must also face now and accept as a possibility. Not every addict recovers, some addicts choose to live their lives as addicts. I really do hope that Brandon is not one of those, and he is SO young that time is on his side.

    My step-dad was an alcoholic, he caused us to lose our home and we had to live in a caravan (not sure what the equivalent is over here) for quite a while in somebodys backyard before the government gave us subsidized housing. He has apparently been diagnosed a cyclical alcoholic by some doctor (this is what my Mum tells me but she is an enabler - she'd rather have him drunk than not at all). So every now and again he is apparently destined to fall off the wagon??!!??). I just think that he has never quite reached the bottom, and just before he does my mother has helped pick himself back up again. They need to hit that rock hard bottom to ever truly give up. But that is my own personal opinion of my situation.

    Kelly, you did the best you could, you were a good Mum who guided him in all the right directions, but ultimately we all cut the "umbilical cord" and let them wander off to make their own lives because we have to. He had made bad choices, but that's not your fault. I truly hope and pray that very soon he will hit his all-time low, the low that he acknowledges to be the worst that life could ever be and enough to make him truly want to be saved. An odd prayer I know .. but it's going to be the only way you'll ever get your son back.

  10. #22
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    Default Re: For those of you that pray...

    @KMARINO Thoughts and Prayers for you and your family

    I grew up in some bad parts of town where alcoholics and drug addicts were the norm, not a day passed that id find a needle on the sidewalk let alone saw several friends of my mom od this stuff, i never understood it and maybe became jaded from seeing it most of my childhood but i know its tough to be there for someone you love and they continue to make the wrong choices. Maybe this will be his final time he says he needs help and stays clean for sure...i have dealt with the alternative and its not something i wish for anyone, just remember that you have to live your life as well and as much as itll hurt to say no its better than not living your life and having your happiness...God Bless


    "So Let It Be Written"

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