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Thread: Losing Weight Program

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    Default Losing Weight Program

    Well it is no secret I am overweight since leaving the military. I was watching TV and a commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So I was thinking what the hell and I signed up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at my door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as I see her, she takes off running. I try to catch her, but I failed miserably. Well, this continues for a week, at the end of which, I have lost 10 pounds. I said to myself wow that is great and I can get my primary care physician off my fanny perpedicular to lose weight. So after some thought, I decided to try the Phase Two Weight Plan which is to lose 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except my earlier training allowed me to almost catch her. Again, this continues for a week, at the end of which I, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, I decide to do the Master Program. But before I could sign up, I was required to sign a waiver and was warned about the intensity of this weight loss plan. I called my primary care physician to see what he thinks said he was glad that i was taking a proactive approach to my weight loss. With my physican's blessing, I sign up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, what looked like a throbbing squirrel in his underwear, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" Well! I was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; instead, I lost 34 lbs.

    So Happy It's Thursday!

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    :rofl; that will teach you to sign up for those TV ads!!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
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    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Quote Originally Posted by 2BullyMama View Post
    :rofl; that will teach you to sign up for those TV ads!!
    Yeah you're right. Now instead of wsix-pack abs I am down to 1-Keg abs. LMAO.

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    See you should of just joined a boot camp like I did… Lol

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    ​Roger, I needed this laugh...excellent joke and I thank you!


    My 1st bully, Brutus
    RIP beloved boy.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Quote Originally Posted by Texas Carol View Post
    ​Roger, I needed this laugh...excellent joke and I thank you!
    Glad you enjoyed it. It has been a rough week here in Bulldog land.

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Quote Originally Posted by rjisaterp View Post
    Glad you enjoyed it. It has been a rough week here in Bulldog land.
    ​Yes it has, Honey...so grateful EBN has you here [replacer_img]


    My 1st bully, Brutus
    RIP beloved boy.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Quote Originally Posted by ddnene View Post
    See you should of just joined a boot camp like I did… Lol
    Naw....I did 24 years of "boot camp." Although I wish I was at the weight when I got out.

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    That was great. Had me ..


  11. #11
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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Lol. Too funny. Did he catch you?
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

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    Default Re: Losing Weight Program

    Hilarious!!

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