Losing Weight Program

rjisaterp

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Cooper, Jewel (April 27, 2013-May 7, 2022-RIPDaddy's Girl) and (Bentley Oct 2013-Dec 2021)
Well it is no secret I am overweight since leaving the military. I was watching TV and a commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So I was thinking what the hell and I signed up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at my door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as I see her, she takes off running. I try to catch her, but I failed miserably. Well, this continues for a week, at the end of which, I have lost 10 pounds. I said to myself wow that is great and I can get my primary care physician off my fanny perpedicular to lose weight. So after some thought, I decided to try the Phase Two Weight Plan which is to lose 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except my earlier training allowed me to almost catch her. Again, this continues for a week, at the end of which I, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, I decide to do the Master Program. But before I could sign up, I was required to sign a waiver and was warned about the intensity of this weight loss plan. I called my primary care physician to see what he thinks said he was glad that i was taking a proactive approach to my weight loss. With my physican's blessing, I sign up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, what looked like a throbbing squirrel in his underwear, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" Well! I was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; instead, I lost 34 lbs.

So Happy It's Thursday! :w00t:
 

2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
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:rofl; :rofl: :rofl: that will teach you to sign up for those TV ads!! :rofl:
 

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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See you should of just joined a boot camp like I did… Lol ;)
 

Texas Carol

Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN
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Brutus & Cami live in Heaven
​Roger, I needed this laugh...excellent joke and I thank you!
 
OP
rjisaterp

rjisaterp

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Community Veteran
Apr 18, 2014
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Somewhere in the Universe. Really Maryland.
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Bulldog(s) Names
Cooper, Jewel (April 27, 2013-May 7, 2022-RIPDaddy's Girl) and (Bentley Oct 2013-Dec 2021)
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Lol. Too funny. Did he catch you?
Are you kidding girl....I was running for my life [emoji28] . I did drop 34 lbs. You kinda run faster when you hear, I AM GONNA GET YOU SWEETHEART in a deep bellowing steroidal voice. Shoot girl....you would run too. Heck [MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION] mentioned going to "boot camp"....I was running for my life. I had a flash of being in prison cell with a guy named Bubba.
 

Vikinggirl

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image.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpg

Lol Bubba sent me these pics, said he was looking for you.
 

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