Not the son in law .

[Enjnene]

Well I thought I would let everyone know that the not SIL is messing up , my daughter has just about had enough last weekend he messed up her car drunk driving and she was livid , besides the fact that he gets drunk daily and she finally admits it and has realized she does not want a alcoholic with no ambition then today I had some medical tests to be done and he babysat but I got home and the girls were home alone ! it was nearly two hrs before he got home so I tried to tell him he'll no that's bs and he got ugly first so my daughter got on him and told him this will never happen again ! The girls are only five seven and just turned ten . This fool tried to say well I told them not to answer the door or play knives , " really " did you always do what you were told ? UNACCEPTABLE!!!! Thank goodness I showed up right after he left , but he did not know that .


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[Vikinggirl]

Oh No Donna, it sounds like he's a kid himself, and hasn't grown up. He doesn't seem to be very responsible, and chooses alcohol over the safety of his kids. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do to change him, but all you can do is be there for your daughter and grandchildren. You also can't get involved in your daughters relationship, because that never works, she has to know what she is willing to put up with in her relationship, and the less negative stuff we say the better, because experience has taught me that when you get involved and say things about the boyfriend, or spouse, you just push them closer together, and then when they make up, which they usually do, you're the one they're mad at. All you can do is be there for your daughter, listen to her, and wait to see if she finally has enough of his behaviour. But she does have to be the responsible parent and protect her children from his behaviour , it is not acceptable for him to leave 3 small kids by themselves, so he shouldn't be allowed to have them alone in his care, and your daughter has to make other arrangements for their care to make sure they're safe. I know how you feel, you worry about your grand kids, and you want to say something , but it's best to just support the kids and your daughter, and hope she tires of him, or sees him for what he is. Hopefully he will get help for his drinking problem, otherwise things will never change for your daughter, and she will have to decide if she wants to stay with him and his life.

 

[2BullyMama]

Hopefully... He just leaves and doesn't come back

 

[Enjnene]

@ vickinggirl oh I pretended that I was not trying to start trouble and I act like I really want them to work , but as far as my grand girls I have raised them as much if not more than my daughter and she knows it so she is not mad at me in any way for saying anything about my girls I even acted like it upset me to have him mad at me sooooo I am just patiently waiting for her to be done with him .


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[Pati Robins]

Well if its all goes well he be out in no time , keep your cool , my mum used to tell me " i told you so" etc so i was staying in a abusive relationship just to not hear "i told you so" from her lips again .
Looks too me as well that your daughter is close to hitting a tipping point and her "love blinkers" (like my mum loves to call it" are long gone , what could be left now is the fear of being on her own , starting again -even tho NSIL is useless anyway he might be kind of a false sense of security for her.
But i hope she will find a great partner who will eventually become amazing father figure for her children xxx
Stay calm hun i think the storms are coming xxx

 

[Bulldozersma]

@ vickinggirl oh I pretended that I was not trying to start trouble and I act like I really want them to work , but as far as my grand girls I have raised them as much if not more than my daughter and she knows it so she is not mad at me in any way for saying anything about my girls I even acted like it upset me to have him mad at me sooooo I am just patiently waiting for her to be done with him .


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Oh Donna, sounds like this guy is circling his own drain. I agree that the best you can do is be there for your daughter and grand daughters and just make sure they know they have other choices than to live with a loser like him. I'm praying that your daughter can get away soon and realize that she and her kids deserve so much better

 

[Enjnene]

Thanks everyone , my daughter finally admitted to me that he is no help to her which I already knew , so yeah I think he is on his way out . I so hope she can find a great guy that makes her happy and helps her . Praying


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[Ftse 100]

Just as long as she doesn't weaken and take him back you hear this happening too often, like Christine said Hopefully... He just leaves and doesn't come back

 

[ddnene]

Oh Donna, this is getting worse… I really HOPE that your daughter will come to her senses and leave that jerk!!!

 

[AmandaH12]

I agree with Vikinggirl. If you push too much... She will want to stay. I have a friend just like that . Husband is horrible . I just tell her that when she is tired of all of the "crap"... She will leave . I used too get pissed.... But it didn't change anything. I pray that your grand kids will be ok . But I would let her know that if anything happens to them. That you will call dcfs.


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