Need some advice...

[Bazza]

Thank you all so much! It means a lot to know that I have friends on here that care and I really do appreciate it! He's going on hospice and I am taking him home later today. At least there he can be comfortable and in his own space and with family. The Dr thinks he will make it to Christmas so I am happy to hear that.

@Bazza - I am so sorry for all the things you have gone through! Your story is very touching about your dad. I am so glad you got to say everything you wanted to him while you could. I think that is one of the most important things that I am trying to do myself! And about your friend with breast cancer. That brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful friend you are to help care for her children she had to leave behind! I'm sure she is watching over you and so grateful for what you have done!

Keep us posted and thanks for your kind words too,I do feel both friend and Dad are around me, if you need to vent come back post or send a private message if you just want to vent, Make every moment count. What I went through changed my life, I am so grateful for what I do have and that's a great life, and my health. I have great family and kids and Bazza, it's made me appreciate my family much more and how things can change so don't sweat on small stuff and concerntrate on things that make me happy. Tough times ahead I know, but reach out when you need help as well.

 

[boomsboo]

Thanks all! I will keep you posted. He's got to stay in the hospital a few more days now to get a cathator inserted to his stomach because fluid is backing up in there. Not pretty but it will be less trips back to the hospital because with a cathator the hospice nurse can manage it at home which is a plus. He actually asked me to not leave for a while last night which made me happy because I thought he was getting tired of me. Just got to take this one day at a time. Hugs to all of you for being so sweet and for your kind words! It gives me hope that I can get through this knowing I'm not alone.

 

[ddnene]

Thanks all! I will keep you posted. He's got to stay in the hospital a few more days now to get a cathator inserted to his stomach because fluid is backing up in there. Not pretty but it will be less trips back to the hospital because with a cathator the hospice nurse can manage it at home which is a plus. He actually asked me to not leave for a while last night which made me happy because I thought he was getting tired of me. Just got to take this one day at a time. Hugs to all of you for being so sweet and for your kind words! It gives me hope that I can get through this knowing I'm not alone.

The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time... don't worry about the what if's, the when's, etc... enjoy each and everyday!!!

 

[boomsboo]

@ddnene - thank you!

I'm sad to say that my dad did pass away last night (early this morning) it was after midnight so luckily he didn't pass on halloween. He seemed at peace and for the first time in my life I saw my dad cry. It's the hardest thing that I have ever done and probably will ever do to sit there with him in his last moments. I feel at peace because he seemed at peace. Thank you all for the kind words. I know he's no longer in pain or suffering and watching over me

 

[FORDE'SMOM]

((((( HUGSSS )))))) I am so very sorry....there is no " best" way to handle something like this.....it's hard, I lost my mom when she was 42 to cancer and my dad at age 62 from congestive heart failure, I always had the youngest parents growing up and never thought I would be the one without them so early in life....my thoughts and prayers are with you...glenna

 

[2BullyMama]

@boomsboo

So very sorry for the loss of your father; however, I am happy to know you were with him and able to support and love him in his last hours.

hugs and prayers to you!

 

[Davidh]

So sorry for your loss and I'm glad you were with him when he went. I was with my dad when he went also and it helped me I think, because I, like you, knew he was at peace and not in any more pain. We will be thinking of you as the next few days will be hard and busy. May he rest in peace.

 

[bullmama]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad Your words that he seemed at peace in his last moments is comforting, but it must have been very hard.

 

[boomsboo]

You all are so awesome! I appreciate it! It's going to be busy the next few days... but I've got my uncle to help me through it luckily.

 

[ddnene]

@ddnene - thank you!

I'm sad to say that my dad did pass away last night (early this morning) it was after midnight so luckily he didn't pass on halloween. He seemed at peace and for the first time in my life I saw my dad cry. It's the hardest thing that I have ever done and probably will ever do to sit there with him in his last moments. I feel at peace because he seemed at peace. Thank you all for the kind words. I know he's no longer in pain or suffering and watching over me

Oh NO... I'm so very very sorry, for some reason I missed this yesterday!!!

Oh honey, my heart just breaks for you...

I was holding my Dad's hand when he passed as well... this was after I caught a flight home from Germany. I know that it meant a lot to your Dad for you to be there for him, and believe me I know how HARD this was for you I have tried to explain this to people, there is a feeling of peace at that very moment. It's indescribable... He is no longer suffering, and he's still very much with you!!! He's in your heart, and he will be with you as long as you shall live... Sending you lots of hugs & prayers... and remember if you ever need to talk/vent/cry whatever we are all here for you!!!

 

[Bazza]

@ddnene - thank you!

I'm sad to say that my dad did pass away last night (early this morning) it was after midnight so luckily he didn't pass on halloween. He seemed at peace and for the first time in my life I saw my dad cry. It's the hardest thing that I have ever done and probably will ever do to sit there with him in his last moments. I feel at peace because he seemed at peace. Thank you all for the kind words. I know he's no longer in pain or suffering and watching over me

Sorry for your loss, as I posted earlier in your post I lost my Dad, I have been away for a little holiday and came back here to see if there was any update, I shocked to hear the news. But I am glad you are at peace and so was your Dad.

 

[Texas Carol]

@boomsboo Wow this is a topic close to my heart for many reasons, you have got so much great advice and I wish I had been on this site when I was going through tough times, my dad died 3 years ago, after a short illness and organ failure (no cancer) but we knew he would not make it, I had four amazing days with Dad, some of the time he was unconscious though, but I got to say everything I wanted, my dad and I were very close and had a great communication, he preferred honestly and like what you say emotion!!! We cried together, I talked about all the things I loved about him and how much he meant to me, I am so grateful that I had the time to say goodbye to him, you will have strength that you did not know you could and you will be amazing because it sounds like you have an amazing Dad and relationship, you will draw strength and appreciation for it down the road. I miss my Dad a lot, I miss his unconditional love, I miss when I walked any room no matter how old I was and I felt his love, I never have had that feeling ever since, sorry I know I am rambling but first time I have written anything about it, it won't be easy, but you will get you will get strength to get through it. Not long ago not even a year yet I lost my long time school friend to breast cancer, she has 3 little children which I help care for now, so she was like a sister, and it was the hardest thing I ever went through, I watched her slip away, but again you will have strength and love that will get you through, she wanted to be angry, sick, complaining, laughing and crying without being judged, just wanted people to be there for her, it was tough because she was leaving behind a 1,3,4 year old and it was hard on us all. You need to a look after yourself as well and cry when you need and feel o.k. to laugh when needed. sending you prayers as it always breaks my heart to hear when someone else goes through it. Best wishes to you and your entire family.

Thank you for sharing all you've been through and the wisdom you are sharing
now with us. How wonderful you are helping to raise her children, GOD will honor
such a loving, unselfish act of kindness. I lost my best friend of 30 years five years
ago, it ripped my heart out. A year ago my husband of 30 years died, I have no
words to describe what it did to me, he was such a great person~a wonderful
husband & father, a son & a brother and friend to all. Your words brought me to
tears and sharing of this...

Stuart died so quickly of a massive heart attack at 52, as the bible says, he was
gone in the twinkling of an eye, no time to say anything even tho I stood right
beside him. But a couple of weeks before it took him, I'd called him back to bed
one morning and told him how much I loved him and admired him and why. I
expressed thankfulness for his love and for the fine man he was and how his
true & loyal heart and patient steadfastness had healed my brokeness, gave
me hope & trust again, brought JOY into my life and how happy I was because
he loved me, how complete our life together was in every way. When he was
gone so suddenly just 2 weeks later this held me together and still does today.

 

[Bazza]

@boomsboo Wow this is a topic close to my heart for many reasons, you have got so much great advice and I wish I had been on this site when I was going through tough times, my dad died 3 years ago, after a short illness and organ failure (no cancer) but we knew he would not make it, I had four amazing days with Dad, some of the time he was unconscious though, but I got to say everything I wanted, my dad and I were very close and had a great communication, he preferred honestly and like what you say emotion!!! We cried together, I talked about all the things I loved about him and how much he meant to me, I am so grateful that I had the time to say goodbye to him, you will have strength that you did not know you could and you will be amazing because it sounds like you have an amazing Dad and relationship, you will draw strength and appreciation for it down the road. I miss my Dad a lot, I miss his unconditional love, I miss when I walked any room no matter how old I was and I felt his love, I never have had that feeling ever since, sorry I know I am rambling but first time I have written anything about it, it won't be easy, but you will get you will get strength to get through it. Not long ago not even a year yet I lost my long time school friend to breast cancer, she has 3 little children which I help care for now, so she was like a sister, and it was the hardest thing I ever went through, I watched her slip away, but again you will have strength and love that will get you through, she wanted to be angry, sick, complaining, laughing and crying without being judged, just wanted people to be there for her, it was tough because she was leaving behind a 1,3,4 year old and it was hard on us all. You need to a look after yourself as well and cry when you need and feel o.k. to laugh when needed. sending you prayers as it always breaks my heart to hear when someone else goes through it. Best wishes to you and your entire family.

Thank you for sharing all you've been through and the wisdom you are sharing
now with us. How wonderful you are helping to raise her children, GOD will honor
such a loving, unselfish act of kindness. I lost my best friend of 30 years five years
ago, it ripped my heart out. A year ago my husband of 30 years died, I have no
words to describe what it did to me, he was such a great person~a wonderful
husband & father, a son & a brother and friend to all. Your words brought me to
tears and sharing of this...

Stuart died so quickly of a massive heart attack at 52, as the bible says, he was
gone in the twinkling of an eye, no time to say anything even tho I stood right
beside him. But a couple of weeks before it took him, I'd called him back to bed
one morning and told him how much I loved him and admired him and why. I
expressed thankfulness for his love and for the fine man he was and how his
true & loyal heart and patient steadfastness had healed my brokeness, gave
me hope & trust again, brought JOY into my life and how happy I was because
he loved me, how complete our life together was in every way. When he was
gone so suddenly just 2 weeks later this held me together and still does today.

Thanks for sharing Carol it is lovely that you can take comfort in the words you expressed to him before he passed, both your husband and friend are forever in your heart, I know so many including those in this thread that have been through sad times too. I have always known that I am not the only one that has gone through tragedies, my experiences have definitely made my stronger and kinder, I appreciate the life I have, I appreciate the small things and the things that have nothing to do with money. I stop and literally smell the roses. I want to live a good life for those that cannot, I feel lucky of what I have. I still have sadness (and tears) thinking of my Dad and friend, sometimes I feel them around me. My friends, little children are just a blessing and they remind me of her everyday, I see her in them, even though it makes me sad that they no longer have her, or she is not around to see them grow. Life is a wonderful gift, although can be challenging and sad at times. XX (PS and boy can our animals enrich our lives, they are great at listening and a great source of comfort :-) )

 

[ddnene]

Thanks for sharing Carol it is lovely that you can take comfort in the words you expressed to him before he passed, both your husband and friend are forever in your heart, I know so many including those in this thread that have been through sad times too. I have always known that I am not the only one that has gone through tragedies, my experiences have definitely made my stronger and kinder, I appreciate the life I have, I appreciate the small things and the things that have nothing to do with money. I stop and literally smell the roses. I want to live a good life for those that cannot, I feel lucky of what I have. I still have sadness (and tears) thinking of my Dad and friend, sometimes I feel them around me. My friends, little children are just a blessing and they remind me of her everyday, I see her in them, even though it makes me sad that they no longer have her, or she is not around to see them grow. Life is a wonderful gift, although can be challenging and sad at times. XX (PS and boy can our animals enrich our lives, they are great at listening and a great source of comfort :-) )

Your story brings out the tears…
I can't imagine how hard this has been for you, but she was so blessed to have you for a friend!!! I know that she is so appreciative of all the time you are spending w/her babies!!! God Bless…

 

[Casper]

I'm not one to go rambling about my feelings and talk about my life on the internet, let alone many of my close friends. But I despriately need some advice, and I feel like EBN is like one big family. I guess I should start from the beginning.. My Dad was diagnosed last year with stage 2 pancreatic cancer. Long story short after many chemo and radiation treatments, the cancer was gone and he was in remission. Recently this year, back in March, we found out it had returned in his liver. For the past 6 months him and I have been back and fourth between doctor's appointments and chemo treatments, and this past month has been very rough on him. His last chemo treatment was back in early September. This past Thursday he was admitted into the hospital. Today I recieved a text from him asking to come tomorrow with my sister because he has "bad news". So what I am getting at is I am thinking the worst but hoping for the best. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this if it is the news that I think it is? I've lost my brother from cancer 3 years ago and was able to push through it, but now that it's my dad it seems like a different experience. Him and I are extremely close and I want to be strong for him. Hopefully some of you can give me a little friendly advice? Thanks EBN!

Early last year, I sat down with my older brother, a very rare thing, He was 9 years older than I, Hated my sense of humor, and took everything in life so seriously. We spent the day, probably 8 hours talking, about memories, Family, Kids, events in our life, had lunch together, talked about his child, my children, and had one of those rarest days I could have ever dreamed of. That night he had a stroke, and 5 ½ weeks I spent at his bedside, praying, talking, watching him reach out and have conversations with my parents which have passed, it was the most horrible time in my life, I watched as one stroke took over from where the last one left off, watching him steadily decline, and was talking to him as he passed away holding my hand. It was the hardest thing I ever had to contend with...... My point is, now it's almost 2 years since his loss, not sure of the events that led to us sitting down for a day as we did, But it's the day I reflect back on more than any other. Things that needed to be said were said, both ways, It was what got me through this event, Never take for granted what clearing the air of everything will do for you both. Enjoy those days, Don't be afraid to pray, Find comfort in what you know, Leave uncertainty out of the equation. Love with all you have, Understand with all you can fathom, You'll never regret that day. Trust me......