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Thread: Need some advice...

  1. #25
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Quote Originally Posted by JeannieCO View Post
    You're too sweet! I'll probably be on my doorstep under the watchful eyes of Inspector Wilson since he's probably slumbering in the looking at chair that's at the window.
    Good boy Wilson!
    In Loving Memory of Tank
    11/3/2009 - 8/4/2017


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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Sorry about your dad, please know that you, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You will find the strength to be there for your dad. I think that if it is what you are expecting that he would expect that you of course will have emotions..Please know we are all here thinking and praying for you, if you need anything let us know!

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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    @boomsboo Wow this is a topic close to my heart for many reasons, you have got so much great advice and I wish I had been on this site when I was going through tough times, my dad died 3 years ago, after a short illness and organ failure (no cancer) but we knew he would not make it, I had four amazing days with Dad, some of the time he was unconscious though, but I got to say everything I wanted, my dad and I were very close and had a great communication, he preferred honestly and like what you say emotion!!! We cried together, I talked about all the things I loved about him and how much he meant to me, I am so grateful that I had the time to say goodbye to him, you will have strength that you did not know you could and you will be amazing because it sounds like you have an amazing Dad and relationship, you will draw strength and appreciation for it down the road. I miss my Dad a lot, I miss his unconditional love, I miss when I walked any room no matter how old I was and I felt his love, I never have had that feeling ever since, sorry I know I am rambling but first time I have written anything about it, it won't be easy, but you will get you will get strength to get through it. Not long ago not even a year yet I lost my long time school friend to breast cancer, she has 3 little children which I help care for now, so she was like a sister, and it was the hardest thing I ever went through, I watched her slip away, but again you will have strength and love that will get you through, she wanted to be angry, sick, complaining, laughing and crying without being judged, just wanted people to be there for her, it was tough because she was leaving behind a 1,3,4 year old and it was hard on us all. You need to a look after yourself as well and cry when you need and feel o.k. to laugh when needed. sending you prayers as it always breaks my heart to hear when someone else goes through it. Best wishes to you and your entire family.
    Last edited by Bazza; 10-29-2013 at 07:18 AM.

  4. #28
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Quote Originally Posted by boomsboo View Post
    I'm not one to go rambling about my feelings and talk about my life on the internet, let alone many of my close friends. But I despriately need some advice, and I feel like EBN is like one big family. I guess I should start from the beginning.. My Dad was diagnosed last year with stage 2 pancreatic cancer. Long story short after many chemo and radiation treatments, the cancer was gone and he was in remission. Recently this year, back in March, we found out it had returned in his liver. For the past 6 months him and I have been back and fourth between doctor's appointments and chemo treatments, and this past month has been very rough on him. His last chemo treatment was back in early September. This past Thursday he was admitted into the hospital. Today I recieved a text from him asking to come tomorrow with my sister because he has "bad news". So what I am getting at is I am thinking the worst but hoping for the best. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this if it is the news that I think it is? I've lost my brother from cancer 3 years ago and was able to push through it, but now that it's my dad it seems like a different experience. Him and I are extremely close and I want to be strong for him. Hopefully some of you can give me a little friendly advice? Thanks EBN!
    I don't know how religious you are...but I would ask God for the strength to be able to bear the news. I am so very sorry that you and your dad are going through this. Cancer sucks.

    I work in the Pharma industry and for many years I worked for an Oncology Pharma company and worked with study trials...it was so sad to see/read about peoples experiences. I prayed for their families.

    Hang in there...God will see you through.

    RIP Samson el Torito and Petunia Belle
    May 20, 2000 - June 06, 2008 and November 16, 2004 - April 10, 2015

  5. #29
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Thank you all so much! It means a lot to know that I have friends on here that care and I really do appreciate it! He's going on hospice and I am taking him home later today. At least there he can be comfortable and in his own space and with family. The Dr thinks he will make it to Christmas so I am happy to hear that.

    @Bazza - I am so sorry for all the things you have gone through! Your story is very touching about your dad. I am so glad you got to say everything you wanted to him while you could. I think that is one of the most important things that I am trying to do myself! And about your friend with breast cancer. That brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful friend you are to help care for her children she had to leave behind! I'm sure she is watching over you and so grateful for what you have done!
    In Loving Memory of Tank
    11/3/2009 - 8/4/2017


  6. #30
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Quote Originally Posted by boomsboo View Post
    Thank you all so much! It means a lot to know that I have friends on here that care and I really do appreciate it! He's going on hospice and I am taking him home later today. At least there he can be comfortable and in his own space and with family. The Dr thinks he will make it to Christmas so I am happy to hear that.

    @Bazza - I am so sorry for all the things you have gone through! Your story is very touching about your dad. I am so glad you got to say everything you wanted to him while you could. I think that is one of the most important things that I am trying to do myself! And about your friend with breast cancer. That brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful friend you are to help care for her children she had to leave behind! I'm sure she is watching over you and so grateful for what you have done!
    Oh my heart just breaks for you... but you know that you can do this, and we will be here for you!!! As hard as it seems just try to enjoy each day for what it is... that is all it's really about anyway. Enjoying every little moment that we have with those that we care about... Sending you a big HUG & praying for you and your family!!!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Quote Originally Posted by boomsboo View Post
    Thank you all so much! It means a lot to know that I have friends on here that care and I really do appreciate it! He's going on hospice and I am taking him home later today. At least there he can be comfortable and in his own space and with family. The Dr thinks he will make it to Christmas so I am happy to hear that.

    @Bazza - I am so sorry for all the things you have gone through! Your story is very touching about your dad. I am so glad you got to say everything you wanted to him while you could. I think that is one of the most important things that I am trying to do myself! And about your friend with breast cancer. That brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful friend you are to help care for her children she had to leave behind! I'm sure she is watching over you and so grateful for what you have done!
    Keep us posted and thanks for your kind words too,I do feel both friend and Dad are around me, if you need to vent come back post or send a private message if you just want to vent, Make every moment count. What I went through changed my life, I am so grateful for what I do have and that's a great life, and my health. I have great family and kids and Bazza, it's made me appreciate my family much more and how things can change so don't sweat on small stuff and concerntrate on things that make me happy. Tough times ahead I know, but reach out when you need help as well.

  8. #32
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Thanks all! I will keep you posted. He's got to stay in the hospital a few more days now to get a cathator inserted to his stomach because fluid is backing up in there. Not pretty but it will be less trips back to the hospital because with a cathator the hospice nurse can manage it at home which is a plus. He actually asked me to not leave for a while last night which made me happy because I thought he was getting tired of me. Just got to take this one day at a time. Hugs to all of you for being so sweet and for your kind words! It gives me hope that I can get through this knowing I'm not alone.
    In Loving Memory of Tank
    11/3/2009 - 8/4/2017


  9. #33
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    Quote Originally Posted by boomsboo View Post
    Thanks all! I will keep you posted. He's got to stay in the hospital a few more days now to get a cathator inserted to his stomach because fluid is backing up in there. Not pretty but it will be less trips back to the hospital because with a cathator the hospice nurse can manage it at home which is a plus. He actually asked me to not leave for a while last night which made me happy because I thought he was getting tired of me. Just got to take this one day at a time. Hugs to all of you for being so sweet and for your kind words! It gives me hope that I can get through this knowing I'm not alone.
    The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time... don't worry about the what if's, the when's, etc... enjoy each and everyday!!!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

  10. #34
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    @ddnene - thank you!

    I'm sad to say that my dad did pass away last night (early this morning) it was after midnight so luckily he didn't pass on halloween. He seemed at peace and for the first time in my life I saw my dad cry. It's the hardest thing that I have ever done and probably will ever do to sit there with him in his last moments. I feel at peace because he seemed at peace. Thank you all for the kind words. I know he's no longer in pain or suffering and watching over me
    In Loving Memory of Tank
    11/3/2009 - 8/4/2017


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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    ((((( HUGSSS )))))) I am so very sorry....there is no " best" way to handle something like this.....it's hard, I lost my mom when she was 42 to cancer and my dad at age 62 from congestive heart failure, I always had the youngest parents growing up and never thought I would be the one without them so early in life....my thoughts and prayers are with you...glenna
    Last edited by FORDE'SMOM; 11-01-2013 at 09:11 AM.

  12. #36
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    Default Re: Need some advice...

    @boomsboo

    So very sorry for the loss of your father; however, I am happy to know you were with him and able to support and love him in his last hours.

    hugs and prayers to you!

    Last edited by 2BullyMama; 11-01-2013 at 05:05 PM.
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