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Thread: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

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    I couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried! Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    So I went to the grocery store this afternoon, I am standing in line at the meat deli with 4 people in front of me. The man in front of me turns around and starts talking to me about how he ate a pound of grapes yesterday and not only did it give him the shits, it made it feet swell because he was a diabetic He goes on to tell me he is 90 years old and every single medication he is on. I was just nodding and telling him a lot of fruit has natural sugar's and he is going to have to watch what he eats and then.................

    He is NOT a quiet old man, very LOUD voice, cussing like a sailor every other word was GD. He LOUDLY says I bet she don't watch what she eats, Im like . He said the lady getting her lunch meat, (She WAS a VERY large lady) "Bet she hasent ever missed a meal" YIKES He goes on to tell me she already has 3 GD lbs of Ham in her cart and now she was getting all the GD cheese!! I was totally mortified at this point and tried to just mind my own business, Oh but No, he keeps going on and on how fat she was. And then.........

    A man comes and stands kind of behind me and this little old man turns to him and says "Bet she's never missed a meal, she's got 3 lbs. of GD lunch meat." The man looks at the lady and said "The one in the red shirt??" and the old man says Yes that Heffer!!! The man behind me quietly says "Sir that is my WIFE!!! OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! and then..........

    The little old man with out a blink of an eye tells the husband, "Well she's a big as a GD German Tank!!!" The man just walks up and stand by his wife without saying a single word, I stood behind him with my brain screaming OMG!!!! But I was rolling laughing IN MY HEAD. People tend to talk to me often, complete strangers will just turn and tell me their life stories I was just saying this to one of my friends this morning. I am home now and safe. Thank God!!!!

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    OMG Kelly I can't believe it! I could not imagine, I would have wanted to run!!!!


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    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    .... You have some type of aura that the nut cases gravitate to you.
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    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    You really need to compile your stories and write a book Kelly...they are too funny not to share!

    "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
    Bentley (5.24.04 - 6.26.10) & Linus (1.10.06 - 7.31.13)

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    Sounds like a Seinfeld episode! That 90yo guy figures, maybe at his age, he could get away with such shenanigans! Still, 90 or 19...that's still kinda rude (in a very hilarious kind of way)!!




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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    OMG, that's hilarious, well not really. Lol. But it is. I would have been totally mortified. But I guess you have to see where it came from, out of the mouths of old people. It's sort of like out of the mouths of babes. Lol. Both little kids and old people are more alike in many ways. We come into the world bald, wrinkly, chubby, and no teeth, and we go out of this world the same way, and little kids also innocently say just what's on their minds, and old people do the same, they have their opinions, and they're stuck in their ways, and they speak what's on their minds. Lol. We just gotta love them.
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    Got to love the minds and mouths of the greatest generation..... They speak their minds and don't care who they offend. Especially WWII veterans they really tell it how they see it.
    Bulldogs are like potato chips. You just can't stop with one.

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    I'm Polish what did you expect! A lady like person? Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    If i was that woman -i would had to restrain myself from punching this rude git in the mouth

    It is my worse nightmare being un the middle of this type if conversations l
    "I use search option before posting new thread "
    Rest In Peace Winston xxx

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    OMG Kelly, I'm cracking up!!! See and you thought you would just have a boring trip to the grocery store?!! LMAO!!!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    Yeah, easy on us OP yeah? Thanks for the laugh!! Next time you leave the house-take a nut detector with you! Sort of like a metal detector-warning! warning!
    Last edited by Manydogs; 09-29-2013 at 11:35 AM. Reason: screwed up!
    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    Kelly, you should have your own talk show!!! You described it perfect

  12. #12
    Baxter Tiberius
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    Default Re: Couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, Lol

    Sounds like Walmart. Do they have a grocery section?

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