Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 12 of 19

Thread: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

  1. #1
    Pooper scooper
    Country
    USA
    Posts
    11,226
    Bulldog(s) Names
    7
    Trophies
    Likes (Received)
    2232

    Default What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    This is a good one.

    One day at a butcher shop a Bulldog walked in with a bag in his mouth. The butcher took the bag out of his mouth and said "Well boy what cha got here". Inside there was money and a list of cold cuts, so the butcher shrugged his shoulders and filled the bag up and took the money. The Bulldog then used his head to push open the door and walked out. The butcher, now intrigued, followed the dog out, keeping his distance, he watched as the Bulldog sat down beside the bench at the bus stop. As the first bus came by and stopped the butcher noticed that the dog stood up read the number on the front of the bus shook his head and sat back down. That bus left and the next bus came by, as like the last one, the Bulldog stood up and looked at the number. The butcher noticed the Bulldog nod his head and walk right on the bus. Still curious the butcher followed. Three stops later the Bulldog got off the bus and walked about a block, the butcher following him the whole way. The Bulldog walked up to a house looked at it, ran up the steps hitting his head on the door so loud the butcher would have sworn it was a gunshot if he hadn't seen it himself. The Bulldog did this 4 or 5 more times till a very old man answered the door and let the Bulldog inside. The butcher hollered at the man and said "Wow, buddy that has to be the smartest dog I've ever seen"'. The man at the door said "Smart!! That's the 3rd time this week that dumb dog has forgotten his keys"!
    Last edited by dolphin; 05-23-2013 at 03:58 PM.

  2. #2
    The Ultimate Sourmug nycbullymama's Avatar
    Country
    usa
    Posts
    5,226
    Bulldog(s) Names
    b and w
    Trophies
    Likes (Received)
    1414

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    lol.


  3. #3
    Bullshiht-zu mavsfan4life's Avatar
    Real Name
    Cyndi
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,394
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Mayhem
    Likes (Received)
    3

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    @pdolphin27 LOL


  4. #4
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
    Become a 4 Paw Member
    I Have Earned Community Veteran Status!
    Need help with the forums?  Contact me!
    2BullyMama's Avatar
    Real Name
    Christine
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Gilbertsville, PA
    Posts
    40,140
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Lambeau, Chelios (Frenchie), Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014)
    Trophies
    Likes (Received)
    11481

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  5. #5
    Flip'n'bullies stole my heart! Become a 4 Paw Member
    I Have Earned Community Veteran Status!
    Need help with the forums?  Contact me!
    ChrisRN's Avatar
    Real Name
    Chris
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Muskegon, Michigan, United States
    Posts
    4,779
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Mabel (20??-2017) Ariel
    Likes (Received)
    1454
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Love it!




    "Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and
    filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had."




  6. #6
    Rescue Volunteer Rural mystic's Avatar
    Real Name
    Tim
    Country
    United States
    Location
    North Florida
    Posts
    1,603
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Ace
    Likes (Received)
    6

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    You asked. It's old and worn out but the simple joke is in the form of Q&A which you probably have all heard but may not hold up for all bulldogs which is. "Why does a dog lick his balls?" "Because he can."

  7. #7
    Owner/Administrator Become a 4 Paw Member
    I Have Earned Community Veteran Status!
    bullmama's Avatar
    Real Name
    Lisa
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Tucson, Arizona
    Posts
    25,362
    Bulldog(s) Names
    The Home of the Desert Sky Pack
    Trophies
    Likes (Received)
    2311
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default

    Lol!


    Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk

    Everyday is a party when you own a bulldog!
    CLICK HERE to Sponsor a rescue Bulldog!

  8. #8
    Flip'n'bullies stole my heart! Become a 4 Paw Member
    I Have Earned Community Veteran Status!
    Need help with the forums?  Contact me!
    ChrisRN's Avatar
    Real Name
    Chris
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Muskegon, Michigan, United States
    Posts
    4,779
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Mabel (20??-2017) Ariel
    Likes (Received)
    1454
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".




    "Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and
    filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had."




  9. #9
    Pooper scooper
    Country
    USA
    Posts
    11,226
    Bulldog(s) Names
    7
    Trophies
    Likes (Received)
    2232

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisRN View Post
    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".
    hahahahahahahaha!!! I like that one!

  10. #10
    Wrinkle Wiper
    Real Name
    Rachael
    Country
    United States
    Location
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Posts
    130
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Rambo
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    WOW, both jokes were tummy holding funny! LOL

  11. #11
    Rescue Volunteer
    Real Name
    Dave
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Slidell, Louisiana, United States
    Posts
    1,718
    Bulldog(s) Names
    "The Stallone Bros"
    Likes (Received)
    33

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by pdolphin27 View Post
    hahahahahahahaha!!! I like that one!
    I don't have any Dog jokes I can remember right off, But here's a little bit of my hometown humor, From Southern Louisiana…. Hope you Enjoy…

    A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Louisiana recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a bayou well-known for its fishing.

    The game warden asked the Cajun, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, Sir", replied the Cajun. "I ain't got none of dem der licenses, you confused, dese here are my pet fish"

    "Pet Fish?" Asks the warden.

    "Yeah, evry night, I take dese fish down to the lake, n let 'em swim 'round for a bit, then whistle, dey jump right back in the ice chess, and I take 'em home".

    "That's a bunch of bull malarkey!!" Says the warden, "Fish can't do that!"

    The Cajun looked at the warden for a moment and said "it's the truth mr. Government man. I'll sho yah it works!!"

    "Ok" says the game warden "I've gotta see this"

    The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and waited, after several minutes the warden says, "Well?"

    "Well what?" Says the Cajun.

    The warden says "When are you going to call them back?"

    "Call who back?" Answers the Cajun

    " The FISH" replies the warden

    "What Fish?" Answers the Cajun...................

    Moral of the story: we may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

  12. #12
    Bullshiht-zu mavsfan4life's Avatar
    Real Name
    Cyndi
    Country
    USA
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,394
    Bulldog(s) Names
    Mayhem
    Likes (Received)
    3

    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casper View Post
    I don't have any Dog jokes I can remember right off, But here's a little bit of my hometown humor, From Southern Louisiana…. Hope you Enjoy…

    A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Louisiana recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a bayou well-known for its fishing.

    The game warden asked the Cajun, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, Sir", replied the Cajun. "I ain't got none of dem der licenses, you confused, dese here are my pet fish"

    "Pet Fish?" Asks the warden.

    "Yeah, evry night, I take dese fish down to the lake, n let 'em swim 'round for a bit, then whistle, dey jump right back in the ice chess, and I take 'em home".

    "That's a bunch of bull malarkey!!" Says the warden, "Fish can't do that!"

    The Cajun looked at the warden for a moment and said "it's the truth mr. Government man. I'll sho yah it works!!"

    "Ok" says the game warden "I've gotta see this"

    The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and waited, after several minutes the warden says, "Well?"

    "Well what?" Says the Cajun.

    The warden says "When are you going to call them back?"

    "Call who back?" Answers the Cajun

    " The FISH" replies the warden

    "What Fish?" Answers the Cajun...................

    Moral of the story: we may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
    Lol....that's funny 😄

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Remove Ads

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •