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Thread: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

  1. #13
    Bullshiht-zu mavsfan4life's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisRN View Post
    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".
    😄Lol

  2. #14
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    Default

    -imageuploadedbytapatalk-21370799626-831581-jpg

    Sorry... It's all I got !!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

  3. #15
    Potty Trainer Rachelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    All so great! lol
    I said I didn't want 4 kids, but I have a 4th and his name is Kirby

  4. #16
    Potty Trainer Rachelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    Har Har


    "I say ma'am, why do you want to get a divorce?"

    "Because my husband treats me like a dog."

    "Does he mistreat you? Does he hit you?"

    "No, he wants me to be faithful to him."
    I said I didn't want 4 kids, but I have a 4th and his name is Kirby

  5. #17
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    I just found this one. I think many of you all can relate!

    HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A PUPPY:
    Remove film from box and load camera.Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
    Remove puppy from trash, brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
    Choose a suitable background for photo.
    Mount camera on tripod and focus.
    Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
    Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
    Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
    Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
    Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
    Put cat outside, put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
    Put magazines back on coffee table.
    Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
    Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
    Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
    Clean up mess.
    Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" soon.




    "Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and
    filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had."




  6. #18
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    WOW some REALLY MOLDY OLDIES.... btw what is a "TypeWriter" ? and what is 'Film' ? and these "Magazine" things you talk about?

    I'm waiting for the next joke to talk about a telephone in a house attached to some strange cord thingy

    I dont have any jokes, but I still like to poke fun at all of the things that 'date' us

  7. #19
    Flip'n'bullies stole my heart! Become a 4 Paw Member
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    ChrisRN's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best dog joke you've heard?

    New one this morning: In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:
    “Talking Dog for Sale.”
    He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
    “You talk?” he asks.
    “Yep,” the mutt replies.
    “So, what’s your story?”
    The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
    The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
    The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?”
    The owner replies, “He’s just a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”




    "Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and
    filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had."




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