@LariP - It was really breaking my heart that I wouldn't get to be with him for his birthday, I have spent every single birthday with him since birth and always made a big deal out of the day heck when he first moved away from home I drove 3 hours to be with him on his birthday one year, not many months later he had moved me over to where he was LOL so the following years where easier the rest of the holiday stuff I could have managed since we don't get to into decorating anymore or making a big deal out of Christmas etc. its just his birthday that I go all out for.