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Thread: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

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    Default Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    From the other site I visit - this was posted by

    Kim Sebastian Oliver n Remy, Kim isnt the author granted but share it there, so I'm sharing it here [replacer_img]

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Dogs:

    The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It IS NOT necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking legs straight out (think frog) and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up is nothing but sarcasm.
    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
    If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, to try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.
    The proper order for kissing is: kiss me first, then go smell the other dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.



    Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

    TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
    (1) They live here....you don't.

    (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all four and don't speak clearly.

    Remember, Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    (1) Eat Less,
    (2) Don't ask for money all the time,
    (3) are easier to train,
    (4) Normally come when called [except cats],
    (5) Never ask to drive the car,
    (6) Don't hang out with drug-using people;
    (7) Don't smoke or drink,
    (8) Don't want to wear your clothes,
    (9) Don't have to buy the latest fashions,
    (10) Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
    And

    (11) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    LOL..... this never gets old!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Thats a good one!!

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    We know Kim! And Sebastion..And Oliver and he who will remain NOT in her name!

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Love it
    Everyone wants to kiss a bullie

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Thank you for reminding me. I know this. I forget this. I remember this. Thank you.

    Good Day~
    B&B~ABEBD

    "Opinions are FREE, Suggestions are TRUSTED, Advice is RESPECTED" bwl @2013

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Quote Originally Posted by JAKEISGREAT View Post
    We know Kim! And Sebastion..And Oliver and he who will remain NOT in her name!
    I need a new user name to include he who is not named!!!
    Kim, Lord Sebastian, Sir Oliver, Remy Le Beau, and Gracie Lou <3

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Sell their children? Awesome.

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Quote Originally Posted by ABEBD View Post
    Thank you for reminding me. I know this. I forget this. I remember this. Thank you.

    Good Day~
    Where the heck have you been??
    Quote Originally Posted by Kim Sebastian n Oliver View Post
    I need a new user name to include he who is not named!!!
    Kim..you better sign up for @cali~jenn and her new name thingy!

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Absolutely funniest thing I've read in a LONG time! Thank you so much
    ! I agree with every statement! Love it

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Quote Originally Posted by JAKEISGREAT View Post
    Where the heck have you been??


    Kim..you better sign up for @cali~jenn and her new name thingy!
    Oooh a new name could be fun! If you are trusting to the 4 pawers we could take it to a poll?! @Kim Sebastian n Oliver

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    Default Re: Dear Dogs - Rules for Dogs and Rules for People visiting Pet homes, and why our kids are better than theirs! :) :)

    Quote Originally Posted by cali~jenn View Post
    Oooh a new name could be fun! If you are trusting to the 4 pawers we could take it to a poll?! @Kim Sebastian n Oliver
    of course I trust the 4 pawers!!! Go ahead, start the poll!
    Kim, Lord Sebastian, Sir Oliver, Remy Le Beau, and Gracie Lou <3

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