The loss of a family member....this one is my Dad
March 17th will be one year when I lost my Dad, my mentor, my Friend and my Hero. It was crazy, mind blowing, and so confusing. This past year as been a lot of "first", My first Birthday without him signing my card, being at my kids birthday parties, T-day, Christmas and going to my parents house and sitting on his lap saying but Daddy, feeling his soft finger tips on my back, his talks of wisdom and when I would leave their house him and my mom outside waving to me. I am not looking forward to the first one year since his death. He has been heavily on my heart this week. I have had one other dream of him and it was a great one of him telling me he was okay and that he was proud of me. The one I had yesterday was his face but white as a ghost and death written all over him.....ugh, I didn't like that one! I have created a rodeo in honor of him and put all my energy into that and it is going very well! He attended all my daughterís rodeos even the ones out of town. We had great nights talking about his life growing up and how he was not as perfect as I thought, but not really a bad kid at all. Spending time with him and my family in his RV was the best time ever! He was our family clown that made everyone laugh! His smile was so large and he was so honest and trust worthy. He mentored anyone that wanted it and welcomed it. He was a well known business man here in our large town. He was old school and a hand shake means you had a deal. He was sent from God, and God needed him back for some reason way to early at 64 years young. It would be nice to have that answer, but we know we will never get it. I am proud to be his Daughter!
I will forever hate March 17th for not only that it is the death of my dad but, my Nephews birthday that he died on, that was not cool for my poor nephew. My dad died on his oldest grandchildís 22nd birthday, it was also the day that I was in a MAJOR accident with my Brother (I was only 13) coming from seeing my nephew in the hospital. I have had 3 miscarriages and 2 of them the babies where due on March 17th! He died 2 Days after my daughters first Miss Az Pageant that he didn't agree with but went to support her. He said no judge needs to tell me that you are beautiful. Died 2 days before my parents 44 wedding anniversary and 20 years to young. My Mom and he went to CO 2 weeks prior to visit his brother and his nieces. My niece the day he was leaving had to come back in to give him one more hug and to say I love you Uncle J.
I am sure everyone wants to know what happened. Well to keep it as clean as possible, My son (at the time 16) and him were working on his built garage to hold his RV 30' tall 6 stalls roof. They were recoating it. My dad had just told my son you are going to fast slow down. (He was power washing the roof) My son said okay. 2 minís later my son decided that he wanted a drink of water. When he turned off the machine and turned around he didn't see the ladder and thought okay Grandpa, quit messing with me (knowing my son was afraid of heights) When my son looked down he seen the ladder and then noticed my dad. He had fallen 30' on his head on concrete, he had no chance. My son had to jump down to get my mom that was in the house. It was the worst day of my life but also my son's and my Momís life to have to see such a terrible thing . I got to the hospital and he was on life support. My mom and I were informed that he had zero brain activity, he was gone. My song with my dad was the country song, Daddies Hands. I would call him or he would call me when we would here the song. When they pulled the plug I was holding his hand. He had over 300 people at his services. He was an awesome person, husband, Dad, Grandpa, brother and Uncle! I will miss his guidance, love and talks. BTW, my son is doing great, he could have gone down the wrong rode, but he didn't! I am so proud of him.
I know this was long, but I have a broken heart coming near the year and felt I needed to share my story. If you had the patience for reading all of it, Thank you. I just want each and every one of you to take the time to hug, kiss and tell the person you love that you love them, life is too short! Live today as if it is your last or the last day of your loved one. I have no regrets with my Dad and I am sooo thankful for that! Pick yourself up and think positive and you can be anything you want to be, it will not all be easy, there will be bumps in the road. Continue to stay positive and move forward and you will be successful!
Your name is all you have in life! You cannot go to heaven with your toys only your name!
Thank you for reading!
Very touching BB. Thank you for sharing with us and we all are sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad was extraordinary. ((Hugs))
DS, yes he was, thank you so much. It helps me to put my feelings down in writing sometimes. Thank you!