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Thread: How To Know When Its That Time

  1. #13
    Member of Bulldog Addicts Anonymous Become a 4 Paw Member Hankster's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    It's so hard to even respond with anything but hugs and support. I wish there was something to take the pain away but I know it's just something that we all face and have to somehow have the strength for. The support you have here is fully with love and prayers... Bless your heart for the years you've given. Huggs, me and Hank

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  3. #14
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Hello @Denisea, your story really shook me. My Henry is only 12 weeks old... but I'm so deeply attached and he's made me discover so much love... that I often find myself thinking about THIS. The time will come, I know, we WILL outlive them most of the time. And I have no wise words for you, just as there is probably no recipe to know WHEN is the time. Just wanted to send you some peace of mind to guide your decision. Dont let guilt get in the way of your love. Big hugs from Canada.

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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Thank you so much @manecya. We've made our decision today that we are going to let our baby boy go. I've been sick with emotions and like you, I always had this in the back of my mind and when i would hear stories of other bully parents who lost their babies, i would get so emotional knowing that one day i would face the same heartbreak. I knew that it would hurt terribly, and it does...and what scares me is that the final moment hasn't even arrived yet. I need to have some time with him so we're going to schedule a in-home service to be done in a couple of weeks. I'm so thankful that I found this forum and have been met with such kind and non-judgmental words from you and others. Love that little stinker until you can't love anymore.....it's all we really have to give them.

    Take care and bless your heart,

    Denise

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  7. #16
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Quote Originally Posted by Denisea View Post
    Thank you so much @manecya. We've made our decision today that we are going to let our baby boy go. I've been sick with emotions and like you, I always had this in the back of my mind and when i would hear stories of other bully parents who lost their babies, i would get so emotional knowing that one day i would face the same heartbreak. I knew that it would hurt terribly, and it does...and what scares me is that the final moment hasn't even arrived yet. I need to have some time with him so we're going to schedule a in-home service to be done in a couple of weeks. I'm so thankful that I found this forum and have been met with such kind and non-judgmental words from you and others. Love that little stinker until you can't love anymore.....it's all we really have to give them.

    Take care and bless your heart,

    Denise
    Enjoy your time with him... love and spoil all you can.

    We are here to help and support... sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts and hugs to you all


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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    -img_0017-jpg

    Just wanted to share a picture of my sweet fella ❤️
    Last edited by Denisea; 08-16-2017 at 09:00 PM. Reason: Added text

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  10. #18
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Quote Originally Posted by Denisea View Post
    -img_0017-jpg

    Just wanted to share a picture of my sweet fella ❤️
    beautiful well loved and taken care of boy.. Nice to see that sweet fella and thanks for sharing your lovely boy...

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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Oh this breaks my heart what you are going through such a hard decision we all have to make over time Sending lots of prayers and will be thinking of you over the next few weeks.

    He is one handsome boy and looks like he has a splendid and loving life.

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  13. #20
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    Default How To Know When Its That Time

    Quote Originally Posted by Denisea View Post
    I'm the proud mama of Tiberius, my 9 year old male English Bulldog...and Lola, my 2 year old female English Bulldog. Tiberius (Ti) had always been such a healthy boy from the day we brought him home with us at 9 weeks old. It wasn't until 2015 when he developed a torn CCL and had his first TPLO. 6 weeks later his 2nd TPLO was done due to both legs being impacted. He had an easy first surgery but after the 2nd...he just wasn't the same. His fur took a year to start to grow back and he developed a terrible skin condition that caused hair loss and scabbing. We were told it was pyoderma and that antibiotics and time would clear it up. It never cleared up and he started urinating in the house when he had been potty trained for the previous 7 years. I took him to another vet who tested him and diagnosed him with Cushings Disease and we started to meds and continued on with the numerous regular tests and medication dosage adjustments. Several months went by and we saw no improvement and Ti became extremely lethargic and lost his appetite. Fearing that he had developed Addison's, I asked the vet if we should stop the meds and he said no. I knew something wasn't right so off we went to another vet. This time we went to UC Davis where we were told that he did not have Cushings. He had an ultrasound, a scope, tons of tests and still no diagnosis. Flash forward to today and his urinating indoors is extreme. Daily I find urine on the carpet, furniture, pee pads, you name it. He stares off without really focusing on anything and gets agitated at what seems like nothing. He used to love chewing on bones and now has no interest and we have to prod him to eat. He's lost weight without trying and has no desire to go out for even the shortest of walks. We're at our wits end with the urinating and I don't know what to do. Part of me says that he must have CCD (dog dementia) and it's time to let him go but without an actual diagnosis, I'm so torn. My own quality of life has deminished because I spend so much time mopping, shampooing, and laundering urine in my home. Anyone have any words of wisdom?
    Here is our experience in losing our 15 year old Terrier in May. The dog was as you described Tiberius except for the fact that she had never had a surgery or illness. She was the light of my husbands life. I knew months before the end that it was time to humanely help her over the rainbow bridge. My husband refused to even think about it. He became angry with me for even suggesting it. She pooed and peed all over the house. She stood on the corner staring into space. She was totally deaf and partially blind. We had many arguments over what to do about Taffy. But, she was my husbands beloved and he would not budge.
    The end came one morning when I was awakened by my husband screaming my name. I thought he was dying or that something had happened to my daughter. I ran out of the bedroom and saw my husband standing by the pool. There was Taffy, lying at the bottom of the pool. This was a dog who swam daily until the last few months. I had to tell my husband to jump in and get her out. He was in shock. Clothes and all, he had to get that poor dog out of the pool. She was already stiff. It was about 7 am. My husband had let her out at 6 am and then he fell asleep again. We had to wrap Taffy in a beach towel and let her lay out there on the side of the pool until the vets office opened at 8:30am. Then we had to place her in the car to drive her to the vets office. I had to hold the dead dog on my lap while my husband drove.
    I will never ever forgive my husband for his lack of courage to do the right thing at the right time got poor Taffy, the dog he adored so much. I will never forgive him for being mean to me when I suggested many times that it was time for Taffy to cross the bridge, that all of her Taffyness was gone and she wasn't there behind those once sparkling eyes. I will never forgive myself for not just taking her to the vets alone and holding her in my arms with courageous love whiles she passed over. Instead, she died alone in a pool, her lungs filling with water, probably so frightened, struggling.
    Do not let yourself have to deal with some tragic end for Tiberius. Send him over the bridge with courage and enduring love.
    Know that I am and will continue to think of you both.
    Dana


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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Quote Originally Posted by Denisea View Post
    Thank you so much @ddnene...it's absolutely gut wrenching. I am sick to my stomach just thinking about this. I have decided that if we decide to have my baby put down, we will have it done in our home where he's comfortable and has all of his familiar surroundings. I'm already an emotional mess and to think of him in a cold and sterile environment with strangers for his final moments just kills me.
    Oh I agree w/you wholeheartedly... I wish I could have done it at home as well, but at that time my hubby was gone and it was just me and the kids. I literally broke down, and I don't think I would've felt ok doing that in front of my kids. My vet broke down w/me as well... and it's okay.

    No matter what you decide we are here for you...

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

  16. #22
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    Quote Originally Posted by Daphne DuMaurier View Post
    Here is our experience in losing our 15 year old Terrier in May. The dog was as you described Tiberius except for the fact that she had never had a surgery or illness. She was the light of my husbands life. I knew months before the end that it was time to humanely help her over the rainbow bridge. My husband refused to even think about it. He became angry with me for even suggesting it. She pooed and peed all over the house. She stood on the corner staring into space. She was totally deaf and partially blind. We had many arguments over what to do about Taffy. But, she was my husbands beloved and he would not budge.
    The end came one morning when I was awakened by my husband screaming my name. I thought he was dying or that something had happened to my daughter. I ran out of the bedroom and saw my husband standing by the pool. There was Taffy, lying at the bottom of the pool. This was a dog who swam daily until the last few months. I had to tell my husband to jump in and get her out. He was in shock. Clothes and all, he had to get that poor dog out of the pool. She was already stiff. It was about 7 am. My husband had let her out at 6 am and then he fell asleep again. We had to wrap Taffy in a beach towel and let her lay out there on the side of the pool until the vets office opened at 8:30am. Then we had to place her in the car to drive her to the vets office. I had to hold the dead dog on my lap while my husband drove.
    I will never ever forgive my husband for his lack of courage to do the right thing at the right time got poor Taffy, the dog he adored so much. I will never forgive him for being mean to me when I suggested many times that it was time for Taffy to cross the bridge, that all of her Taffyness was gone and she wasn't there behind those once sparkling eyes. I will never forgive myself for not just taking her to the vets alone and holding her in my arms with courageous love whiles she passed over. Instead, she died alone in a pool, her lungs filling with water, probably so frightened, struggling.
    Do not let yourself have to deal with some tragic end for Tiberius. Send him over the bridge with courage and enduring love.
    Know that I am and will continue to think of you both.
    Dana


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    these are the most gut wrenching truths and the stories could go on about 'waiting to long.' I pray that when it's each of our turns to give the gift of letting go comes, that we are aloud to do so with dignity for them 'and' ourselves.. Prayers for heeling for all who need healing in this.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Daphne DuMaurier View Post
    Here is our experience in losing our 15 year old Terrier in May. The dog was as you described Tiberius except for the fact that she had never had a surgery or illness. She was the light of my husbands life. I knew months before the end that it was time to humanely help her over the rainbow bridge. My husband refused to even think about it. He became angry with me for even suggesting it. She pooed and peed all over the house. She stood on the corner staring into space. She was totally deaf and partially blind. We had many arguments over what to do about Taffy. But, she was my husbands beloved and he would not budge.
    The end came one morning when I was awakened by my husband screaming my name. I thought he was dying or that something had happened to my daughter. I ran out of the bedroom and saw my husband standing by the pool. There was Taffy, lying at the bottom of the pool. This was a dog who swam daily until the last few months. I had to tell my husband to jump in and get her out. He was in shock. Clothes and all, he had to get that poor dog out of the pool. She was already stiff. It was about 7 am. My husband had let her out at 6 am and then he fell asleep again. We had to wrap Taffy in a beach towel and let her lay out there on the side of the pool until the vets office opened at 8:30am. Then we had to place her in the car to drive her to the vets office. I had to hold the dead dog on my lap while my husband drove.
    I will never ever forgive my husband for his lack of courage to do the right thing at the right time got poor Taffy, the dog he adored so much. I will never forgive him for being mean to me when I suggested many times that it was time for Taffy to cross the bridge, that all of her Taffyness was gone and she wasn't there behind those once sparkling eyes. I will never forgive myself for not just taking her to the vets alone and holding her in my arms with courageous love whiles she passed over. Instead, she died alone in a pool, her lungs filling with water, probably so frightened, struggling.
    Do not let yourself have to deal with some tragic end for Tiberius. Send him over the bridge with courage and enduring love.
    Know that I am and will continue to think of you both.
    Dana


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    these are the most gut wrenching truths and the stories could go on about 'waiting to long.' I pray that when it's each of our turns to give the gift of letting go comes, that we are aloud to do so with dignity for them 'and' ourselves.. Prayers for heeling for all who need healing in this.

  17. #23
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    It is an act of love.... to let go... I'm pretty sure nobody has ever felt regret of letting go too soon, but sometimes we might regret that we held on for too long.

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  19. #24
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    Default Re: How To Know When Its That Time

    I'm so sorry that you both had to go through that....how horrible and sad. We've decided that we need to let him go and i think it's true that when you look into their eyes, you'll know. I had a long talk with him last night, although it was only one sided, and i truly believe that we understood each other and his eyes told me that he was tired and although he'd stay with me as long as i needed him to.....it would be selfish of me to make him do that. I just wish that i could have just one hour to be able to talk to him and him talk back to me. I have so many questions....and i want him to know how much i love him. I honestly love him more than i love most people in my life. I would do anything, and I mean anything for him. He's one of the very few best things that has ever happened to me.

    Thank you for sharing your story and I hope someday you will be able to forgive your husband. We make decisions based on emotions at times and they don't always turn out to be the right decisions, but they came from the right place and that has to count for something.


    Denise

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