BuddercupKelly

New member
Jan 5, 2014
206
7
Citrus County, FL
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Dozer
I've been around bullies my entire life. I've owned two since being an adult, but have NEVER had to contemplate giving up a dog. I am an "until death do us part" kind of person. My dogs are my world. However, I lost my husband of 29 years about 11 months ago and am about to lose my house and move in with my mom and although she loves my bully there are some health issues that are too disgusting for her to handle in her home. He has a bloody tail pocket and I've tried everything to get it healed. If it's not bleeding then its oozing.

So anyway with the health issue and the fact that I am going to have to get a part time job in addition to my full time job, I am at a loss. I just don't know what to do with my boy. Part of me feels it would be kinder to just put him to sleep so as not to have to go through any more loss or change, but I know that is me projecting my feelings. However, my mom tells me he acts depressed throughout the day, when I am away too much. (Right now she comes to my house during the day and lets him out and visits for about 30 minutes every afternoon with him while I work or if I have to be away).

I love this dog with all my heart but I just don't know what to do. Please any help or advise would be appreciated. I want to do what is best for him, but I'm just not sure what that is - even if it breaks my heart.

By the way he is four years old and the best most well behaved bully I have ever known which is why I love him soooo much. He has been a blessing from day one.

Sorry to ramble, I am just a mess over this whole situation.
 

brutus77

Skinny-Dippin' Smokin' Tidy Bowl Bionic Woman
Jul 18, 2013
6,940
593
Long Island NY
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Brutus, Frankie, and Jack
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Honestly, and this is just my opinion, I would not put a otherwise healthy 4yr old dog to sleep. Has the tail been addressed by a vet? I know often times it can be amputated and that solves the problem. I'm not sure how much it costs, but maybe your vet can come up with a payment plan or something? If you can't get his tail taken care of, please, please, please, surrender him to a Bulldog rescue. It is the kindest thing you could do for him. There are many out there, I just google your area and came up with this one bulldog.rescueme.org/Florida.

This must be the hardest thing for you to have to think about and I'm so sorry you are, please consider rescue if you cannot keep him. We have a rescue that his family was unable to care for him and I can promise you, he is loved every day of his life. Maybe you can take comfort in knowing there is someone out there that can offer that for your boy. I really think putting him to sleep will break your heart more than anything. Feel free to PM me or just continue to vent/talk all you want. we are here to help you though this terrible time.
 

TyTysmom

Moderator
Nov 4, 2014
5,474
392
Katy, TX
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Tyson aka "Ty-Ty"
I've been around bullies my entire life. I've owned two since being an adult, but have NEVER had to contemplate giving up a dog. I am an "until death do us part" kind of person. My dogs are my world. However, I lost my husband of 29 years about 11 months ago and am about to lose my house and move in with my mom and although she loves my bully there are some health issues that are too disgusting for her to handle in her home. He has a bloody tail pocket and I've tried everything to get it healed. If it's not bleeding then its oozing.

So anyway with the health issue and the fact that I am going to have to get a part time job in addition to my full time job, I am at a loss. I just don't know what to do with my boy. Part of me feels it would be kinder to just put him to sleep so as not to have to go through any more loss or change, but I know that is me projecting my feelings. However, my mom tells me he acts depressed throughout the day, when I am away too much. (Right now she comes to my house during the day and lets him out and visits for about 30 minutes every afternoon with him while I work or if I have to be away).

I love this dog with all my heart but I just don't know what to do. Please any help or advise would be appreciated. I want to do what is best for him, but I'm just not sure what that is - even if it breaks my heart.

By the way he is four years old and the best most well behaved bully I have ever known which is why I love him soooo much. He has been a blessing from day one.

Sorry to ramble, I am just a mess over this whole situation.

I'm going to speak frankly, as I too have experienced loss, and I know its heartbreaking and hard to understand. However, I feel as if you may need Dozer far more than you think, and he needs you as well. The tail issue is something that can be addressed, if you have a "usual" vet - I would consult with another, who has bulldog experience....

He will adjust to your new hours & your new home; and if your mom is home - he won't be alone, and will slowly grow to love her more as well. I would completely erase the putting him down thought from your head. He is healthy, why would you ever do that to him. Dogs live in the moment, my Tyson was a rescue, and he has lived the good life ever since coming to me so many years ago. They can be re-homed, but the best & only way to ever do that is through a rescue.

Also, I feel like if you parted with him, you may fall deeper into a sadder state. Tyson was my back-bone during a very rough time in my life. If it wasn't for him, who knows where I would be. He saved me. I woke up for him, I got out for him. Otherwise I probably would have just sat in bed all day long. There were days where I only had money to either buy him food or buy me food. Of course - he always got food.... sorry to drag out this post, but he belongs with you, I believe you need him, he will help you cope, and heal. He will adjust to his new surroundings, and I would hate for you to have your heart broken again by giving him up. There were times where I thought the same, that I should rehome him, or take him to a rescue...but I knew deep down inside that I loved him far too much, and I was the one who needed the rescuing. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us here. Sending hugs your way.
 

NewEnglandBully

Poopah Scoopah
Community Veteran
Dec 29, 2013
1,767
83
Massachusetts
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Sebastion (Sea Bass)
Kelly, I'm so very sorry…that is a LOT for one person to deal with!!
This is my first bully, never had to surrender one, but...I am judgement-free for owners re-homing to a forever home - or surrendering to an established rescue if they are no longer able to care for their baby.

Life throws so many curve-balls and there is no way for someone to predict what their future holds. Things happen and that is why there are great organizations and people out there to help, that are kind.

Dozer still has many more years of life…I am going to send lots of prayers that a forever home comes your way to help out w/this situation. I'm glad you posted here before making any decisions…cannot imagine how you must be feeling or going through. :heart:
I think Rosalie's advice is awesome, the rescue volunteers work diligently at finding and placing bullies.

Sending you my deepest condolences and prayers to help you through this!! xo
 

harveyspecter

Harvey's Executive Assistant
Community Veteran
Aug 5, 2014
5,533
331
Yorba Linda (The OC), California
Country
United States
Bulldog(s) Names
Harvey Specter
I'm going to speak frankly, as I too have experienced loss, and I know its heartbreaking and hard to understand. However, I feel as if you may need Dozer far more than you think, and he needs you as well. The tail issue is something that can be addressed, if you have a "usual" vet - I would consult with another, who has bulldog experience....

He will adjust to your new hours & your new home; and if your mom is home - he won't be alone, and will slowly grow to love her more as well. I would completely erase the putting him down thought from your head. He is healthy, why would you ever do that to him. Dogs live in the moment, my Tyson was a rescue, and he has lived the good life ever since coming to me so many years ago. They can be re-homed, but the best & only way to ever do that is through a rescue.

Also, I feel like if you parted with him, you may fall deeper into a sadder state. Tyson was my back-bone during a very rough time in my life. If it wasn't for him, who knows where I would be. He saved me. I woke up for him, I got out for him. Otherwise I probably would have just sat in bed all day long. There were days where I only had money to either buy him food or buy me food. Of course - he always got food.... sorry to drag out this post, but he belongs with you, I believe you need him, he will help you cope, and heal. He will adjust to his new surroundings, and I would hate for you to have your heart broken again by giving him up. There were times where I thought the same, that I should rehome him, or take him to a rescue...but I knew deep down inside that I loved him far too much, and I was the one who needed the rescuing. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us here. Sending hugs your way.



so heartfelt. Yes they save us time and again. I always make it a point to hug my boy when I get home from work. Great post.
 
OP
BuddercupKelly

BuddercupKelly

New member
Jan 5, 2014
206
7
Citrus County, FL
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Dozer
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #7
I hug and play with my boy every day I get home. My whole evening is about him. I'm just so confused right now. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words.
 

TyTysmom

Moderator
Nov 4, 2014
5,474
392
Katy, TX
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Tyson aka "Ty-Ty"
I hug and play with my boy every day I get home. My whole evening is about him. I'm just so confused right now. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words.

Kelly - I have read many "I need to rehome my dog" and "What do I do" posts about dogs, and people wanting to give them up, and I've always only chimed in with rescue information, and pretty much just begging for them to take them to a rescue and not a shelter.

However your post was different. I felt your heart, and love for him. I know people say you cant express emotion through a post, or text - but you can. Those other posts from the past were dry, almost as if the dog should go to a rescue to be better off.....but not with yours. I feel the love you have for him. When I was alone, and lost, all I could think about was coming home to him. He would great me at the door, was so excited to see me, he cuddled me, snuggled me when I cried.... I can't even express it. Makes me emotional just thinking back to that time. I just feel like his home is YOU. And I pray you get through this....I know that no matter what you do, it will be in his best interest.
 

Vikinggirl

Norwegian Rose
Community Veteran
Oct 8, 2012
9,740
597
Burlington, ON Canada
Country
Canada
Bulldog(s) Names
Bulldozer and Blossom
I've been around bullies my entire life. I've owned two since being an adult, but have NEVER had to contemplate giving up a dog. I am an "until death do us part" kind of person. My dogs are my world. However, I lost my husband of 29 years about 11 months ago and am about to lose my house and move in with my mom and although she loves my bully there are some health issues that are too disgusting for her to handle in her home. He has a bloody tail pocket and I've tried everything to get it healed. If it's not bleeding then its oozing.

So anyway with the health issue and the fact that I am going to have to get a part time job in addition to my full time job, I am at a loss. I just don't know what to do with my boy. Part of me feels it would be kinder to just put him to sleep so as not to have to go through any more loss or change, but I know that is me projecting my feelings. However, my mom tells me he acts depressed throughout the day, when I am away too much. (Right now she comes to my house during the day and lets him out and visits for about 30 minutes every afternoon with him while I work or if I have to be away).

I love this dog with all my heart but I just don't know what to do. Please any help or advise would be appreciated. I want to do what is best for him, but I'm just not sure what that is - even if it breaks my heart.

By the way he is four years old and the best most well behaved bully I have ever known which is why I love him soooo much. He has been a blessing from day one.

Sorry to ramble, I am just a mess over this whole situation.

Hi Kelly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and now you're home. That's so much for anyone to deal with. I'm also sorry that you may to rehome your baby. I also have a Dozer and I can't imagine having to give him up, it would break my heart. I agree with others that losing him would be another loss for you, and you would miss him greatly. You can talk to,your vet and have his tail amputated which would fix the tail pocket problems and infections. It seems your mom likes taking care of him when you're away, and I'm sure if he didn't have the tail pocket issues, she would be okay with him being in her home. If you decide you can no longer care for him, please don't put him down, but rehome him or give him to a rescue who will find him a new home. I hope you get to keep him. Please keep us posted. Hugs
 

2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
Staff member
Community Veteran
Jul 28, 2011
48,580
3,669
Gilbertsville, PA
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Chelios (Frenchie), Nitschke (2004-2011) Banks (2005-2014) and Lambeau (2014-2024)
I hug and play with my boy every day I get home. My whole evening is about him. I'm just so confused right now. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words.

I can't even imagine having to make this decision. I've read your other posts about the tail... if costs is an issue and you find a vet that can help... look into Care Credit, it is kind of a credit card for vet bills.

Here are other options to that might be able to help with the cost of the procedure:
Here is a list of organizations that provide financial assistance. Please check their websites to see if you qualify.

Angels For Animals - Angelsforanimals.org
Brown Dog Foundation - Browndogfoundation.org
Canine Cancer Awareness - Caninecancerawareness.org
Care Credit - Carecredit.com
Cats in Crisis - catsincrisis.org
Extend Credit - Extendcredit.com
Fairy Dog Parents - fairydogparents.org
Frankie's Friends - frankiesfriends.com
Gracie's Mission - graciesmission.org
Paws 4 A Cure - paws4acure.org
Shakespeare Animal Fund - shakespeareanimalfund.org
The Dog and Cat Cancer Fund - DCCFUND.org
The Magic Bullet Fund - Themagicbulletfund.org
The Mosby Foundation - themosbyfoundation.org
The Pet Fund - thepetfund.com
The Riedel & Cody Fund - riedelcodyfund.org

You can also check with National Animal Organizations For More Info.
Alley Cat Allies - alleycat.org
American Humane Association - americanhumane.org
ASPCA - aspca.org
Best Friends Animal Society - bestfriends.org
HSUS - hsus.org
Petsmart Charities - petsmartcharities.org
 

Vikinggirl

Norwegian Rose
Community Veteran
Oct 8, 2012
9,740
597
Burlington, ON Canada
Country
Canada
Bulldog(s) Names
Bulldozer and Blossom
I can't even imagine having to make this decision. I've read your other posts about the tail... if costs is an issue and you find a vet that can help... look into Care Credit, it is kind of a credit card for vet bills.

Here are other options to that might be able to help with the cost of the procedure:
Here is a list of organizations that provide financial assistance. Please check their websites to see if you qualify.

Angels For Animals - Angelsforanimals.org
Brown Dog Foundation - Browndogfoundation.org
Canine Cancer Awareness - Caninecancerawareness.org
Care Credit - Carecredit.com
Cats in Crisis - catsincrisis.org
Extend Credit - Extendcredit.com
Fairy Dog Parents - fairydogparents.org
Frankie's Friends - frankiesfriends.com
Gracie's Mission - graciesmission.org
Paws 4 A Cure - paws4acure.org
Shakespeare Animal Fund - shakespeareanimalfund.org
The Dog and Cat Cancer Fund - DCCFUND.org
The Magic Bullet Fund - Themagicbulletfund.org
The Mosby Foundation - themosbyfoundation.org
The Pet Fund - thepetfund.com
The Riedel & Cody Fund - riedelcodyfund.org

You can also check with National Animal Organizations For More Info.
Alley Cat Allies - alleycat.org
American Humane Association - americanhumane.org
ASPCA - aspca.org
Best Friends Animal Society - bestfriends.org
HSUS - hsus.org
Petsmart Charities - petsmartcharities.org

This is great information, thanks for sharing. I didn't know there were so many organizations that help animals.
 
OP
BuddercupKelly

BuddercupKelly

New member
Jan 5, 2014
206
7
Citrus County, FL
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Dozer
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #12
Hi Kelly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and now you're home. That's so much for anyone to deal with. I'm also sorry that you may to rehome your baby. I also have a Dozer and I can't imagine having to give him up, it would break my heart. I agree with others that losing him would be another loss for you, and you would miss him greatly. You can talk to,your vet and have his tail amputated which would fix the tail pocket problems and infections. It seems your mom likes taking care of him when you're away, and I'm sure if he didn't have the tail pocket issues, she would be okay with him being in her home. If you decide you can no longer care for him, please don't put him down, but rehome him or give him to a rescue who will find him a new home. I hope you get to keep him. Please keep us posted. Hugs

She would definitely be ok with him living there. I've just been trying so many things for the tail pocket with no luck. I don't want to give up. I adore my boy and he is a life saver and joy to have.
 
OP
BuddercupKelly

BuddercupKelly

New member
Jan 5, 2014
206
7
Citrus County, FL
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Dozer
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #13
Thank you so much for you understanding words. It is killing me trying to decide what is best for this baby. I would love not to give him up. He is definitely my emotional support. I have a great family, but there is nothing like a bully who will just sit with you for hours while you cry and hug him.
 
OP
BuddercupKelly

BuddercupKelly

New member
Jan 5, 2014
206
7
Citrus County, FL
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Dozer
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #14
I just want to thank you all for your kind words and support. I am going to do everything in my power to get this tail pocket thing worked out, even if we have to amputate it, so he can move in at my mom's first. I just hate putting him through a surgery. He already has a slight heart issue. If this doesn't work, I will do the rescue thing. Thank you for all your support with this and words of encouragement. I really appreciate you guys.
 

Texas Carol

Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN
Community Veteran
Jul 4, 2012
7,581
832
Central Texas
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Brutus & Cami live in Heaven
Your story is very similar to mine, Kelly, and so undeserved to happen to you
or anyone. It's very embarrassing altho it shouldn't be but we live in a very
judgmental world, if everything doesn't work out right then it must be our
bad decisions or fault!

Understandably you are overwhelmed and beat up right now from what's
happened (rightfully so), your Hubby's death was so recent, that alone is
so difficult to get beyond and back to functioning. My sincere condolences
on his loss, Kelly , and the loss of your home as well. I too, lost my husband,
my home & health insurance 3 years ago so I completely understand your
dilemma. Five months after losing Hubby, my 1st bully died unexpectedly...
it just continued to get worse & worse. You feel like you are being punished
and you feel guilty & tormented...the great news is...this group is so very kind
and compassionate, like a big 'ole family and we'll help you find yourself again.
This is what EBN did for me & others here, so much more than a bulldog club.

My advice is to get a 2nd opinion, try the remedies suggested and see where it
goes. Can you crate him at Mom's or is there a 'lil room he can be in (utility room)
while he's healing up? Many here have had tail amputations and did well afterwards.
Don't give in just yet unless you just can't do this anymore. If so...Honey...it's okay!
Then a good rescue can take him, fix him and find a forever home. None of us are
super humans and there's only so much we can take, especially after the tragedies
you're still going thru...YOU come 1st!

Yes, I've had to give up beloved pets, sometimes that's the best & only option for all.
I send love & prayers and you can private msg me any time, Kelly...HUGS!
 

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