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Thread: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

  1. #1
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    cali baker's Avatar
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    Default Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    The reason for my post title is b/c I do at times feel like I'm not a good parent. (I can be rather self-critical and this is something I'm working on, believe me).

    So last night I decide to take the boys out for a walk. This is something I have been VERY lax in during the past year. There would be days and days where I would not take the boys out on a walk. And then I'd wonder why Finn would get into fights with Tate. I know that exercise is very important for not only physical but also mental health benefits.

    Anyway, we're walking last night when we approach this corner house. This eldely man walks out his front door and he has either a cane or a walker (it was dark so hard to really tell). At this point, Tate sees the man and goes ballistic! I mean, barking, lunging, just going nuts. Of course Finn has to get in on the excitement too so now I have two bulldogs who are lunging and barking and acting wildly out of character towards this elderly man. Meanwhile, I'm literally dragging both boys, trying to get the HECK out of there and round the corner so we could just disappear out of this man's sight! It took a couple minutes but I did manage to drag them away and I hear the man yelling. I think he said something like, "This is terrible...!" or something like that. As we finally round the corner, away from the man and his house, Tate is running as fast as he can and he keeps looking backwards as if he's totally SPOOKED! The remainder of the walk consisted of both Tate and Finn walking as fast as they could, and acting very much "on alert", jumping at every little noise.

    I remember this elderly man from a year or so ago. We passed by him once before as he was taking out the trash and Tate did bark at him then too, and I do recall the man holding up his cane (or walker) and yelling out at Tate. That interaction was very brief however and I just recall the man being weird.

    This time it was more intense, like Tate just sensed some negative energy.

    So why am I sharing this story and telling you that I feel "inadequate". I guess I feel like I haven't raised two of the most well behaved bulldogs and I also know they both can still use some more training in being more social. Finn doesn't get along with other dogs, and mostly only tolerates Tate. I know that's how some dogs are. I also know I'm still a work in progress and have much to learn when it comes to animals. I think I tend to compare myself to other dog parents and think everyone else has "got it all together" so much more than I do when it comes to our dogs!
    Thanks for listening!




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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Don't beat yourself up. I'm a horrible dog parent. Brutus and Ruthie have some manners but they do act out sometimes on walks....especially if they sense something like don't like or another dog I know they won't like. I would trust my dogs instincts on a person better than i would my own. That mans walker probably freaks them out too since it's not something they are used to seeing.

    I personally don't think anyone has it "all together", so just keep your head up and maybe work with them a bit more!

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    That makes two of us Henny. Which leads me to think, none of us are perfect. Now, Tyson doesn't have any type of acting out issues or aggression but I feel guilty for alot of things with him. I feel guilty for leaving him alone during the day, I feel like its our fault he ate the socks last year. I feel like its our fault he's overweight. The list goes on and on....

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Think about it this way, you at least understand them each, and love them unconditionally. Had they been in any other home, perhaps they would not get the love/treatment they get with you or even worse they would be dropped off at the shelter. You are home. Its hard to change a dog that is set in their ways. Yes, you can work on it, etc.... but in the end, they are healthy - they are loved - and that's the best life any dog could ever ask for.

    What about taking them to a seclusive area? We take Tyson to some baseball fields near our house during times that we know no one is there. We close the gates, and let him have at it. He runs, and plays, etc. Just a thought - that way they get their fun, and workout and you don't have to deal with interruptions/people/or other dogs.

    My whole heart, Tyson.
    Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend, obviously never owned a Bulldog.

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Thanks, Jennie and Jessica. I know none of us are perfect. I keep saying to myself that I'm going to find a trainer again so this is something I'm planning on actually doing in the coming months!

    Jessica, that's exactly what I try to do...find a less-well-travelled area so that the 3 of us can walk and romp with some relative privacy. I'm off from work today and tomorrow so we went for a good, peaceful walk this a.m. at a different neighborhood than ours and didn't run into anyone (which was nice). When I just walk one of the boys by himself I feel more confident. I feel like I can handle him better when it's just one. When I have both together is when things can get a little dicey for me and my confidence level especial b/c Finn can be a tad difficult at times.

    anyway, i'm glad i'm not alone. I knew you guys would "get it"!




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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    @cali baker Oh, girl friend! I have had dogs for probably more years than you have been on this earth. Since I've always had fenced yards, I actually only did REAL leash work with the large dogs. There is no way I could walk my two bullies together. I took two of them to the vet together,and it was like a comedy show on tv. They walk like ladies alone(with a chain collar on(never having to correct) but two together are too much for me to handle.Talk about being a bad parent-they get so spoiled,as far as toys and vitamins,etc. but leash work-NOT! I can't go for a walk here-I'm in the country,but loose pitbulls come out of no where-unattended. I've never even seen a dog on a leash around here! So mine go out in their fenced yard,and they go to the vet one at a time-for regular visits. There are no such thing as dog parks,or dog sitters,etc. There are not all perks about living in the country. I know my dogs get bored,and I feel guilty about that-so then I get new nylabones!! Bored dogs cost me $$$You are a wonderful mother-and so good with duct tape! Next time duct tape that old guy to his house You know dogs can sense things that we can't. He may be an evil ole man, and the dogs knew it! READ MY LIPS:You are a great Mom!!!!
    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    You are not a bad parent!! Maybe the dogs were spooked by the old mans cane or walker, afterall, this isn't something they see on a daily basis!! As for the walks, my bulldog and boxer hardly ever go for walks (mainly because Im just lazy and don't feel like going) Dually will not go for a walk without me so if I don't go he doesn't go. The boxer Gunner is up for a walk anytime day or night but since I live in Michigan and usually hibernate in the winter he only gets to go if the temperature is above 50 degrees. Mine are far from well behaved although most people think Dually is extremely well behaved since he is afraid of new people and usually doesn't get excited when people come over, Gunner is a completely different story. He is a total psycho dog when he meets new people and we can not control him, if you try he ends up peeing all over because he just cant contain his excitement. So that being said, don't beat yourself up, we all have our faults and so do our fur babies.

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Well I GUESS I will join the club too… Lol

    Walter has been to training several times AND socialized BUT if someone rings our doorbell/comes in the house he acts like a complete maniac!!! It's embarrassing… and don't get me started on walks, the first 5 minutes he's either pulling me down the driveway or eating the leash THEN of course my new baby Willow likes to POOP on the vents… WINNING!!!

    I think that ALL of us have these thoughts at times… BUT the point is to keep working w/them and hopefully ONE day soon a lightbulb will click and they will get it!!! TILL then my motto is "FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!!!"

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Can't secondguess yourself knowingly you did what you can in rearing them. Just like your kids, you just wish they turn out to be awesome people when they mature.
    Hug your bully today

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    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Got it all together.... good Lord, who does? Hey, hello.... BANKS.... 9 yr training session is all I got to say on that topic

    Do not beat yourself up --- we all have down and/or off days and some pups are just harder than others. Try to find a good balance for you and work from there... it will come together.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
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    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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    Rescue Volunteer Become a 4 Paw Member Cali Doll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    You know what'll make you feel better? Seeing Bella when someone comes into the house or when she sees another dog. She's a complete psycho! I feel very guilty, I can't lie. She was a very well-socialized puppy (2 sessions of Petsmart puppy class, daily daycare for almost a year, regular walks, etc). I'm starting to feel like she's just psycho. I have a psycho dog. It is what it is. LOL

    I'm sorry...I totally understand, but try not to beat yourself up.
    {MEAN JOE BELLA}



    IG: @bellatheenglishbully

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    This sounds like an issue with the man, not your dogs!!!

    I too sometimes feel like I've done a sh*t job with Winslow. Why can't he be normal, and nice, when we have company?! What did i miss, will he always be this way, etc. I totally get it.

    But again, this sounds like something with that man. Maybe they were picking up on something, and maybe hightailing it outta there was the best thing whether they were behaving or not!

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    Default Re: Sometimes I feel like an inadequate dog parent

    Bulldogs are difficult dogs a lot of the time, they all have their quirks
    and bizarre behavior, it is what it is. Focus on the good, forget about
    the odd bad and enjoy them and your life with them.

    We can all guilt ourselves to death about what we should/shouldn't be
    and do or don't do. Remember, be your own best friend! If something
    is truly out of hand, work on it but lovingly & kindly do so. At the end
    of the day, rest, relax and let it go, tomorrow is a brand new day!

    Shared from a former perfectionist.


    My 1st bully, Brutus
    RIP beloved boy.

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