Regarding the couch, I think it needs to be either or. Letting her on sometimes sends a mixed message so you may always have problems. For instance, Blue started resource guarding our bed (they sleep with us). So he's not allowed on it at all now until we all go to sleep. It's funny too because he'll sit in our bedroom and wait for us to come to bed. So maybe try that. Only allow her up when you're there. But there needs to be some kind of logic that her doggy brain understands.
The bed thing I'm not sure of. You can try again once she's a little older and see how she does. But I don't think that's contributing to the couch issue.