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Thread: I feel absolutely awful!

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    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default I feel absolutely awful!

    Feeding time this morning. I tried the 1 kibble in bowl thing. Seemed to work fairly well. Chubbs laid down 95% without me telling him to (sitting would've been perfectly fine but he went all the way down, even his head!) So we did this for about 20 minutes, then I slowly added a few more pieces of kibble. One time he started to chow down too fast so I slowly moved my right leg. He didn't like that because he stopped eating, got tense, looked back at me and started to growl. Before he could do anything else I stepped on the leash and slowly walked backwards. Then waited for him to relax, see the 'sigh' people talk about. Once I saw that I started looking around my place for a location to put him... a tether thingy. Finally realized I was close to the linen closet. Foot still on the leash, I slowly walked backwards towards the closet. Then used my foot to 'pick up' the leash (no way in h3ll I was bending down.) Once I had the leash in hand I opened the door, fed it thru the crack a little and then closed it. Chubbs couldn't do anything. It took him about 15 minutes but he finally realized I was in control of him and his food. I almost lost patience and put the food away but he sat down as soon as I turned.

    I hate that we have to go thru this but what else is there to do? Our first behavioral session isn't until next week. My arm hurts like h3ll, even with pain medication.

    On another note, I saw a cute, black/brown Frenchie this evening at PetLife.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -uploadfromtaptalk1422665972571-jpg   -uploadfromtaptalk1422666001653-jpg   -uploadfromtaptalk1422666018905-jpg  

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    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Why do you feel awful? It worked! it is a tough journey, but once you get there, you will love what you find!

    Breathe and know you can do this
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
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    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  3. #3
    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by 2BullyMama View Post
    Why do you feel awful? It worked! it is a tough journey, but once you get there, you will love what you find!

    Breathe and know you can do this
    Yea, it worked but I feel like locking the leash in the closet was somewhat mean. It's not in the pictures but he bumped into the baby gate and it fell, not on him rather the floor. The noise scared him, so I moved it out of eyesight.

    I'm breathing but I keep breaking down which is extremely abnormal for me. I can't wait for the appointments next week, I don't think I've ever been so excited. This just makes me feel worse.

    My mom made a good point yesterday. With me staying in another room, it only gives him more strength/power. The fact that I have to stop in my tracks if he's out and starts growling because for some unknown reason... he thinks I'm gonna take something away from him. Yes, this happened tonight. Hubby thinks he growled because he thought I was coming to take away the leash. No, just trying to come into the kitchen. I don't think keeping the leash on inside the home is such a great idea because of this exact reason. Same goes with toys and others. I'm seriously wondering if the 'no privileges' tactic was a good idea. Without anything for him to chew away his anxiety/stress/boredom, is it my fault?


    Omg, why am I doing this to myself??? Ahhhh

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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    So I'm a little confused. Is he showing more aggression all the time now? Did he bite your arm? We told you he can sense your anxiety and it makes the situation worse. You have to be a calm assertive owner. And why in gods name would you even mention another dog at this point?? I think you may have already made your decision and have given up in spirit on chubbs. If this is the case, find a rescue in your area and give him up so he can be rehomed. I'm not judging you, it just sounds like it isn't going to work out.
    My smooshy face boy!

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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    I agree with @brutus77 This did sound confusing...it sounds like you are terrified of your dog. He will feel your fear-and he will respond with fear/aggression.
    I can't really give you any suggestion to help with your fear. I have had an awful lot of different kinds of animals in my lifetime-never was I afraid of them.)! When my hubby and I bought a Malanois-just to get him out of a horrible situation(2 yrs. old) I put him in the back seat, and then he tried to shove his way into the front between the bucket seats. I shoved him and said "you stay in the back!" My husband said"Aren't you afraid he might bite you?" I said if he going to be my dog, I can't be afraid of him! I guess I have been really lucky, because I can't even understand how your dog got to this point-unless he had a previous owner who mistreated him?
    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Blue has toy aggression that gets out of hand. He growls and even brings the toy to you almost daring you to take it.
    I've been bit (accident or not I don't know), and lunged at in the past. He bit Chris so hard that we thought he needed stitches. It's definitely going to scar.

    What I've learned is, I don't believe there will come a time when he's not toy aggressive. All I can do is control the situation as best I can. Meaning, I can't back off. So I try re-directing and bartering if you will..lol. Sometimes he'll drop the toy for a treat, other times he won't. Either way though, when I want this toy, I don't stop until I get it.

    Lately, instead of trying to intimidate me, his new tactic is to run from me with the toy dangling from this mouth. We're still working on that one!

    He also started resource guarding our bed. Before we let that get out of control (like the toys did), we took his lead and tethered him to us. He was going around the apartment either tied to Chris or me. We did this until he learned "down" really meant down, and now, he's not allowed on the bed at all until we all go to sleep.

    I understand how you feel. I've had moments where I was scared of Blue too. But that didn't stop me from doing what needed to be done, because really, there's no choice other than to give him up. That's not an option.

    You need to understand that this is something you may be working on for the rest of his life, and it's something you need to come to terms with. If you can do that, your whole attitude will change and the fear starts to subside.
    But you need to be committed and not back off.

    If you're prepared to do that, we're here for you every step of the way. We'll listen to you bitch, moan,whine- and still encourage you.
    We're also here for you when you have those break through moments, and we'll cheer and applaud right along with ya.

    We all know this breed can be one pain the butt. But when you get through to them, it can be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever feel.

    .. we know it's not easy.


  7. #7
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    I totally agree with ellie. Brutus is food aggressive also and we have to feed him separately from the others. He is never allowed to growl or show his aggression without being corrected, but I am not sure it is something I will ever break him out of. what I am sure of is I can never show fear or let him think I am not the boss. There has to be a reason he is displaying a different personality for your husband.
    My smooshy face boy!

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    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by brutus77 View Post
    So I'm a little confused. Is he showing more aggression all the time now? Did he bite your arm? We told you he can sense your anxiety and it makes the situation worse. You have to be a calm assertive owner. And why in gods name would you even mention another dog at this point?? I think you may have already made your decision and have given up in spirit on chubbs. If this is the case, find a rescue in your area and give him up so he can be rehomed. I'm not judging you, it just sounds like it isn't going to work out.
    Yes to more aggression however not all the time. Only with food, toys, leash, hubby, the bathroom! I know he can sense my feelings.
    I mentioned the Frenchie because I thought it was cute. Forgive me for trying to be positive and knowing I still love dogs. I am definitely NOT giving up on Chubbs. If anyone is, hubby is the one who wants to re-home Chubbs for my own safety. But I said no, I am not giving up so quickly. That's why we went to the behaviorist and scheduled our first session with the owner.

    We noticed the aggression began when he started growing up, we don't think he knows how to handle all the hormones. We used to be able to keep our hands in his bowl as ate and he didn't care. He's extremely confident. I on the other hand aren't anymore and yes I know I need to work on it. And yes, he did bite me. All I was trying to do was dry his face (dinner time, he had just drank water.)

  9. #9
    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by Manydogs View Post
    I agree with @brutus77 This did sound confusing...it sounds like you are terrified of your dog. He will feel your fear-and he will respond with fear/aggression.
    I can't really give you any suggestion to help with your fear. I have had an awful lot of different kinds of animals in my lifetime-never was I afraid of them.)! When my hubby and I bought a Malanois-just to get him out of a horrible situation(2 yrs. old) I put him in the back seat, and then he tried to shove his way into the front between the bucket seats. I shoved him and said "you stay in the back!" My husband said"Aren't you afraid he might bite you?" I said if he going to be my dog, I can't be afraid of him! I guess I have been really lucky, because I can't even understand how your dog got to this point-unless he had a previous owner who mistreated him?
    I'm not terrified of my baby, I never was until the other day. I just need to gain the courage back to be comfortable touching him.
    I've ever never been afraid of an animal, well maybe snakes but that's a whole different story. We have no clue how he got to this point either. The only idea we can come up with is hormones. He has an appointment at the vet this week so hopefully she can help. The only other owner was the breeder. Chubbs was totally fine when I brought him home... it's just been these past couple of weeks his behavior changed. He's stayed at my in-laws overnight a few times while hubby and I had to go out of state, but they would never hurt an animal... let alone their 'grandson'.

  10. #10
    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by nycbullymama View Post
    Blue has toy aggression that gets out of hand. He growls and even brings the toy to you almost daring you to take it.
    I've been bit (accident or not I don't know), and lunged at in the past. He bit Chris so hard that we thought he needed stitches. It's definitely going to scar.

    What I've learned is, I don't believe there will come a time when he's not toy aggressive. All I can do is control the situation as best I can. Meaning, I can't back off. So I try re-directing and bartering if you will..lol. Sometimes he'll drop the toy for a treat, other times he won't. Either way though, when I want this toy, I don't stop until I get it.

    Lately, instead of trying to intimidate me, his new tactic is to run from me with the toy dangling from this mouth. We're still working on that one!

    He also started resource guarding our bed. Before we let that get out of control (like the toys did), we took his lead and tethered him to us. He was going around the apartment either tied to Chris or me. We did this until he learned "down" really meant down, and now, he's not allowed on the bed at all until we all go to sleep.

    I understand how you feel. I've had moments where I was scared of Blue too. But that didn't stop me from doing what needed to be done, because really, there's no choice other than to give him up. That's not an option.

    You need to understand that this is something you may be working on for the rest of his life, and it's something you need to come to terms with. If you can do that, your whole attitude will change and the fear starts to subside.
    But you need to be committed and not back off.

    If you're prepared to do that, we're here for you every step of the way. We'll listen to you bitch, moan,whine- and still encourage you.
    We're also here for you when you have those break through moments, and we'll cheer and applaud right along with ya.

    We all know this breed can be one pain the butt. But when you get through to them, it can be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever feel.

    .. we know it's not easy.
    Lounging, yes I receive that as well. Bartering, yup sounds familiar, haha. Chubbs is extremely food motivated
    Chubbs bit thru hubby's thumbnail but that was definitely his own fault. Chubbs wouldn't drop a toy at puppy class so we agreed that when
    he finally dropped it due to food or something else... one of us would pick it up. Chubbs dropped the toy in the car, hubby thought he could get it
    and bam. 3 weeks later his cracked thumbnail is still black and blue. Like I said, his own fault.

    What's the name of the lead you use? Does it work well? Chubbs has claimed the bathroom which was his 'timeout' location. Now we don't allow him in there which stinks because I used to let him come in with me while I had to pee or shower. He's also claimed hubby. If they're sitting together and Chubbs was there 'first', he lets me know I'm not wanted which hurts.

    When hubby isn't home I take care of our baby. Does it take me longer? Sure, but I still get it done. I agree, giving him up isn't an option. At the moment I believe I can work like that and be committed.

    Thank you for sharing.

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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    @binxrexchubbs I just wanted you to know that I wish you the best of luck with Chubbs, and the route you are taking with the behaviorist/trainer. I know how upset and sad you must be about this situation, as I would be, also. I will be praying that things go well, and the problem can be figured out, and you all will be able to solve this.
    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

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    Dog Groomer binxrexchubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel absolutely awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by brutus77 View Post
    I totally agree with ellie. Brutus is food aggressive also and we have to feed him separately from the others. He is never allowed to growl or show his aggression without being corrected, but I am not sure it is something I will ever break him out of. what I am sure of is I can never show fear or let him think I am not the boss. There has to be a reason he is displaying a different personality for your husband.
    Whatever the reason is, I would love to know. Hubby gets some of the negative behavior but not to the extent of what I get. What's weird is I'm the one who feeds Chubbs, gives him water, out for potty and walks. I'm home most days until I have to go to work (PT at night.) Hubby lets Chubbs do pretty much whatever he wants, while I apparently am too strict. Aka I don't allow him on the couch, in the bedrooms, no walking in front of me, etc.
    I don't know. What I do know is that I've been wreaking my brain trying to figure this out. *sigh*

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