Need Prayers

[dolphin]

Sounds like he's going to be ok, that's a really good thing. It's funny how you never think you would be so happy for snoring and pooping. Bully's will do that to you. :D

 

[ddnene]

I'm so very sorry to hear about Winston… I hope that he feels better soon, please keep us posted!!!
I'm also sorry to hear about the teen, but honestly I have an 18 year old and I have to remind him to do everything INCLUDING brushing his teeth!!! OMG they are like giant toddlers at times… Your heart is in the right place, and I hope he appreciates what you were trying to do for him!!! Praying for you & Winston…

 

[bullmama]

You & me both! I tried to give the teen a list of things that he couldn't feed Winston when he first got here, but I didn't think I'd have to remind a 17 year old to do things such as throw away empty wrappers, flush toilets, shower daily, lock the front door....etc

ok so far so good. He slept through the night & had a normal BM this morning. I'm on poop patrol & so far nothing has come out, but keeping fingers crossed / praying! He's eating a little & drinking water so that's a good sign as well. Thank goodness he snores (never thought I'd say that) so I could keep listening to him as he slept last night.

Good news, I'm so glad he ate and drank today.


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[s5nelson]

Sounds like he's going to be ok, that's a really good thing. It's funny how you never think you would be so happy for snoring and pooping. Bully's will do that to you. :D

Haha! You aren't kidding! It's the little things in life sometimes!

 

[s5nelson]

I'm so very sorry to hear about Winston… I hope that he feels better soon, please keep us posted!!!
I'm also sorry to hear about the teen, but honestly I have an 18 year old and I have to remind him to do everything INCLUDING brushing his teeth!!! OMG they are like giant toddlers at times… Your heart is in the right place, and I hope he appreciates what you were trying to do for him!!! Praying for you & Winston…

To be 100% honest, I thought I was signing up for more of a roommate situation & not a parent / child situation. I don't have any children of my own so I'm not equipped to be his parent, nor do I have the knowledge, experience, patience, understanding etc. His father was supposed to be more involved, but then decided that he was just going to basically back out and leave me to be the parent figure, which shocked me to say the least. I don't think that it would benefit the teen to stay with me since I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to all of this kind of thing & I have SO much to lose (I run my own business & have ss#'s / EIN #'s / bank account info etc in my office...him leaving the door unlocked is too big of a liability...I could lose everything & ruin whatever future I could have possibly had not to even mention my pets getting hurt from swallowing all of the stuff he's left around).

 

[brutus77]

Sorry I'm reading this so late. It sounds like he is on the mend! Bless you for trying to help this boy. It's a shame his dad wasn't more helpful.

 

[ddnene]

Let me be the first to tell you that kids do NOT come w/a manual, and most of the time I feel like I'm winging it… LOL I have found w/my own son that especially at this older teen age, they pretty much think that they know EVERYTHING!!! And sometimes respect goes right out the window… It's a VERY hard age to deal with because they can do adult things, but most of the time they are ill equipped to handle the consequences. It's sad to hear that they Dad pretty much backed out… but at least you showed him that you cared!!! It's surprising today how many parents just GIVE up on their kids & walk-away…

 

[s5nelson]

Let me be the first to tell you that kids do NOT come w/a manual, and most of the time I feel like I'm winging it… LOL I have found w/my own son that especially at this older teen age, they pretty much think that they know EVERYTHING!!! And sometimes respect goes right out the window… It's a VERY hard age to deal with because they can do adult things, but most of the time they are ill equipped to handle the consequences. It's sad to hear that they Dad pretty much backed out… but at least you showed him that you cared!!! It's surprising today how many parents just GIVE up on their kids & walk-away…

haha! Here I was kinda hoping he did It's SO different having a kid under your roof versus working with them in school. I felt like a total idiot when trying to deal with him half the time. That makes a lot of sense...

So his mother has been beating on him, from my understanding, for the exact things that I described earlier. He's not a bad kid at all...just a teenage boy who doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. His mother has pretty much lost all patience with him & has kicked him out to sleep on the streets multiple times. He does have 2 other siblings, but they seem to be more well adjusted. When I spoke to the father Friday & began to explain the things that were going on, he basically said that if I don't take him & he has no where else to go, that he's going back with his mother... I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point because I can't risk my pets health / welfare nor my business, but I don't think it's a wise decision for him to go back with his mother.

At the same time I don't know the full situation & it strikes me as odd that he's only been here for 3-4 days and this is how he's acting. I would have thought that he'd be doing everything in his power to stay out of his old home.

 

[s5nelson]

Sorry I'm reading this so late. It sounds like he is on the mend! Bless you for trying to help this boy. It's a shame his dad wasn't more helpful.

Thank you so much! I really hope so. Winston is back in bed snoring. I'm praying that he passes whatever he ate & is back to his happy / perky self.

 

[Manydogs]

Sorry to say this, but it is quite OBVIOUS from your thinking he would appreciate this, that you had NO kids of your own! Soon you will look back and laugh-and feel lucky that you discovered his actions before your "babies" DID get hurt! Most of the time, even the BEST teenagers freak!! Yes, they think they know it all, and shouldn't be told what to do-but they live in YOUR (parents +) home, eat your food, etc. BUT it doesn't occur to them, that they are the opposite of what they think, and they ACT like babies!! The influences on the outside now are much worse! In a way, you can see WHY he may be the way he is, other than being 18-he may have never been taught responsibility-is his father very responsible?! He made a deal with you..... Most teens freak-it just depends to what degree! At least you learned a quick lesson, and didn't have to endure ALL the teenage years!! A few years ago, my 42 yr. old son apologized for a few things!ha!ha! Very happy that your Wilson seems to be okay!

 

[s5nelson]

Sorry to say this, but it is quite OBVIOUS from your thinking he would appreciate this, that you had NO kids of your own! Soon you will look back and laugh-and feel lucky that you discovered his actions before your "babies" DID get hurt! Most of the time, even the BEST teenagers freak!! Yes, they think they know it all, and shouldn't be told what to do-but they live in YOUR (parents +) home, eat your food, etc. BUT it doesn't occur to them, that they are the opposite of what they think, and they ACT like babies!! The influences on the outside now are much worse! In a way, you can see WHY he may be the way he is, other than being 18-he may have never been taught responsibility-is his father very responsible?! He made a deal with you..... Most teens freak-it just depends to what degree! At least you learned a quick lesson, and didn't have to endure ALL the teenage years!! A few years ago, my 42 yr. old son apologized for a few things!ha!ha! Very happy that your Wilson seems to be okay!

Haha! Yeah, I definitely don't have any children. I do believe that you're correct that he's never been taught responsibility from his parents. His father is currently living with his sister since he cannot afford a place go his own & doesn't know if / when he'll even be able to.

Yeah, I am grateful that I found this out before things got far worse, I can't imagine how he would be acting if this is him on his best behavior since this is a new place...

 

[ddnene]

haha! Here I was kinda hoping he did It's SO different having a kid under your roof versus working with them in school. I felt like a total idiot when trying to deal with him half the time. That makes a lot of sense...

So his mother has been beating on him, from my understanding, for the exact things that I described earlier. He's not a bad kid at all...just a teenage boy who doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. His mother has pretty much lost all patience with him & has kicked him out to sleep on the streets multiple times. He does have 2 other siblings, but they seem to be more well adjusted. When I spoke to the father Friday & began to explain the things that were going on, he basically said that if I don't take him & he has no where else to go, that he's going back with his mother... I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point because I can't risk my pets health / welfare nor my business, but I don't think it's a wise decision for him to go back with his mother.

At the same time I don't know the full situation & it strikes me as odd that he's only been here for 3-4 days and this is how he's acting. I would have thought that he'd be doing everything in his power to stay out of his old home.

The Mom was beating him for being a slob, and not taking a bath?!! Hmm that seems pretty brutal to me… The Dad doesn't want to take him in? I'm assuming that this is a divorced situation? First of all it sounds like the Dad is trying to put a guilt trip on you, and GUESS WHAT… that kid is NOT your responsibility!!! Sounds like you are not getting the whole story here… does the Mom even know he was staying w/you? I know that you want to help, and I think that is wonderful that you care about this kid, but I don't understand what kind of game these parents are playing w/you. My son does the exact same crap, and I usually threaten to take away privileges like the car keys & stuff, or I won't allow him to leave the house.

 

[s5nelson]

The Mom was beating him for being a slob, and not taking a bath?!! Hmm that seems pretty brutal to me… The Dad doesn't want to take him in? I'm assuming that this is a divorced situation? First of all it sounds like the Dad is trying to put a guilt trip on you, and GUESS WHAT… that kid is NOT your responsibility!!! Sounds like you are not getting the whole story here… does the Mom even know he was staying w/you? I know that you want to help, and I think that is wonderful that you care about this kid, but I don't understand what kind of game these parents are playing w/you. My son does the exact same crap, and I usually threaten to take away privileges like the car keys & stuff, or I won't allow him to leave the house.

Yes, from what I understand, the last time this happened she tried to beat him with a broom so he took it from her & tried to break it so she couldn't hurt him with it. This of course escalated the situation, the police were called & he was arrested. The parents aren't even divorced yet. They've only been separated for 3 months (in Maryland you're required to be separated for a year). Apparently, this sort of thing has been happening for a while.

No, his mother doesn't know where he's been staying. The father filed week before last a protective order against the mother & the hearing took place on Tuesday. The father was granted temporary custody of the kid & dropped him off at my house later that same night. The father was supposed to take him for a night during the week & then also on the weekend, but he "was no longer able to".

I agree that that I'm not his parent & therefore not responsible for him, but I feel like his parents were just trying to use me to get rid of their child / not be responsible for him. I volunteered to take him until he graduated, but on Friday when I spoke to his father on the phone it started to sound like he wasn't planning to take the kid even after he graduated. Personally, I don't want to have that kind of responsibility. I was just trying to help him get out of a bad situation.

i actually wound up taking the kid to Kohls to buy him clothing, shoes, socks & underwear because all of his clothes have holes in them & his shoes are coming apart (he tried to tape them back together). I think that's why I thought he'd appreciate what I was trying to do for him more. Who knows?

 

[Manydogs]

Sorry to say this-but I think you have done your part. MOST of the time, children learn what they live. Sometimes good ones go bad-if they are weak, and have to "be one of the guys". But this kid sounds like he didn't have a chance from jump. You will wind up in the middle of a mess, and I don't think you can help him. He is the type that will have to go in service to learn respect,discipline sounds like. Just look at who he has for parents......you tried-don't feel guilt-his parents sure don't.Your family(and you) comes first.

 

[ddnene]

Yes, from what I understand, the last time this happened she tried to beat him with a broom so he took it from her & tried to break it so she couldn't hurt him with it. This of course escalated the situation, the police were called & he was arrested. The parents aren't even divorced yet. They've only been separated for 3 months (in Maryland you're required to be separated for a year). Apparently, this sort of thing has been happening for a while.

No, his mother doesn't know where he's been staying. The father filed week before last a protective order against the mother & the hearing took place on Tuesday. The father was granted temporary custody of the kid & dropped him off at my house later that same night. The father was supposed to take him for a night during the week & then also on the weekend, but he "was no longer able to".

I agree that that I'm not his parent & therefore not responsible for him, but I feel like his parents were just trying to use me to get rid of their child / not be responsible for him. I volunteered to take him until he graduated, but on Friday when I spoke to his father on the phone it started to sound like he wasn't planning to take the kid even after he graduated. Personally, I don't want to have that kind of responsibility. I was just trying to help him get out of a bad situation.

i actually wound up taking the kid to Kohls to buy him clothing, shoes, socks & underwear because all of his clothes have holes in them & his shoes are coming apart (he tried to tape them back together). I think that's why I thought he'd appreciate what I was trying to do for him more. Who knows?

Holy COW… what a frigging mess!!! I tend to agree w/Lynn [MENTION=8741]Manydogs[/MENTION] it sounds like this is a complete mess that they are more than willing to let you deal with… and my heart just breaks thinking you had to buy clothes for the poor kid!!! Are the police aware that he is living w/you? He's probably too old for foster care… is there any other family in the area that he could stay with? I just feel like this is a TOTAL mess that you don't need to get more involved in. The parents need to GROWUP & take responsibility for the whereabouts of their son!!!