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Thread: Need Prayers

  1. #25
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Sorry to say this, but it is quite OBVIOUS from your thinking he would appreciate this, that you had NO kids of your own! Soon you will look back and laugh-and feel lucky that you discovered his actions before your "babies" DID get hurt! Most of the time, even the BEST teenagers freak!! Yes, they think they know it all, and shouldn't be told what to do-but they live in YOUR (parents +) home, eat your food, etc. BUT it doesn't occur to them, that they are the opposite of what they think, and they ACT like babies!! The influences on the outside now are much worse! In a way, you can see WHY he may be the way he is, other than being 18-he may have never been taught responsibility-is his father very responsible?! He made a deal with you..... Most teens freak-it just depends to what degree! At least you learned a quick lesson, and didn't have to endure ALL the teenage years!! A few years ago, my 42 yr. old son apologized for a few things!ha!ha! Very happy that your Wilson seems to be okay!
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by Manydogs View Post
    Sorry to say this, but it is quite OBVIOUS from your thinking he would appreciate this, that you had NO kids of your own! Soon you will look back and laugh-and feel lucky that you discovered his actions before your "babies" DID get hurt! Most of the time, even the BEST teenagers freak!! Yes, they think they know it all, and shouldn't be told what to do-but they live in YOUR (parents +) home, eat your food, etc. BUT it doesn't occur to them, that they are the opposite of what they think, and they ACT like babies!! The influences on the outside now are much worse! In a way, you can see WHY he may be the way he is, other than being 18-he may have never been taught responsibility-is his father very responsible?! He made a deal with you..... Most teens freak-it just depends to what degree! At least you learned a quick lesson, and didn't have to endure ALL the teenage years!! A few years ago, my 42 yr. old son apologized for a few things!ha!ha! Very happy that your Wilson seems to be okay!
    Haha! Yeah, I definitely don't have any children. I do believe that you're correct that he's never been taught responsibility from his parents. His father is currently living with his sister since he cannot afford a place go his own & doesn't know if / when he'll even be able to.

    Yeah, I am grateful that I found this out before things got far worse, I can't imagine how he would be acting if this is him on his best behavior since this is a new place...

  3. #27
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by s5nelson View Post
    haha! Here I was kinda hoping he did It's SO different having a kid under your roof versus working with them in school. I felt like a total idiot when trying to deal with him half the time. That makes a lot of sense...

    So his mother has been beating on him, from my understanding, for the exact things that I described earlier. He's not a bad kid at all...just a teenage boy who doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. His mother has pretty much lost all patience with him & has kicked him out to sleep on the streets multiple times. He does have 2 other siblings, but they seem to be more well adjusted. When I spoke to the father Friday & began to explain the things that were going on, he basically said that if I don't take him & he has no where else to go, that he's going back with his mother... I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point because I can't risk my pets health / welfare nor my business, but I don't think it's a wise decision for him to go back with his mother.

    At the same time I don't know the full situation & it strikes me as odd that he's only been here for 3-4 days and this is how he's acting. I would have thought that he'd be doing everything in his power to stay out of his old home.
    The Mom was beating him for being a slob, and not taking a bath?!! Hmm that seems pretty brutal to me… The Dad doesn't want to take him in? I'm assuming that this is a divorced situation? First of all it sounds like the Dad is trying to put a guilt trip on you, and GUESS WHAT… that kid is NOT your responsibility!!! Sounds like you are not getting the whole story here… does the Mom even know he was staying w/you? I know that you want to help, and I think that is wonderful that you care about this kid, but I don't understand what kind of game these parents are playing w/you. My son does the exact same crap, and I usually threaten to take away privileges like the car keys & stuff, or I won't allow him to leave the house.

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by ddnene View Post
    The Mom was beating him for being a slob, and not taking a bath?!! Hmm that seems pretty brutal to me… The Dad doesn't want to take him in? I'm assuming that this is a divorced situation? First of all it sounds like the Dad is trying to put a guilt trip on you, and GUESS WHAT… that kid is NOT your responsibility!!! Sounds like you are not getting the whole story here… does the Mom even know he was staying w/you? I know that you want to help, and I think that is wonderful that you care about this kid, but I don't understand what kind of game these parents are playing w/you. My son does the exact same crap, and I usually threaten to take away privileges like the car keys & stuff, or I won't allow him to leave the house.
    Yes, from what I understand, the last time this happened she tried to beat him with a broom so he took it from her & tried to break it so she couldn't hurt him with it. This of course escalated the situation, the police were called & he was arrested. The parents aren't even divorced yet. They've only been separated for 3 months (in Maryland you're required to be separated for a year). Apparently, this sort of thing has been happening for a while.

    No, his mother doesn't know where he's been staying. The father filed week before last a protective order against the mother & the hearing took place on Tuesday. The father was granted temporary custody of the kid & dropped him off at my house later that same night. The father was supposed to take him for a night during the week & then also on the weekend, but he "was no longer able to".

    I agree that that I'm not his parent & therefore not responsible for him, but I feel like his parents were just trying to use me to get rid of their child / not be responsible for him. I volunteered to take him until he graduated, but on Friday when I spoke to his father on the phone it started to sound like he wasn't planning to take the kid even after he graduated. Personally, I don't want to have that kind of responsibility. I was just trying to help him get out of a bad situation.

    i actually wound up taking the kid to Kohls to buy him clothing, shoes, socks & underwear because all of his clothes have holes in them & his shoes are coming apart (he tried to tape them back together). I think that's why I thought he'd appreciate what I was trying to do for him more. Who knows?
    Last edited by s5nelson; 12-08-2013 at 01:07 PM.

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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Sorry to say this-but I think you have done your part. MOST of the time, children learn what they live. Sometimes good ones go bad-if they are weak, and have to "be one of the guys". But this kid sounds like he didn't have a chance from jump. You will wind up in the middle of a mess, and I don't think you can help him. He is the type that will have to go in service to learn respect,discipline sounds like. Just look at who he has for parents......you tried-don't feel guilt-his parents sure don't.Your family(and you) comes first.
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  6. #30
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by s5nelson View Post
    Yes, from what I understand, the last time this happened she tried to beat him with a broom so he took it from her & tried to break it so she couldn't hurt him with it. This of course escalated the situation, the police were called & he was arrested. The parents aren't even divorced yet. They've only been separated for 3 months (in Maryland you're required to be separated for a year). Apparently, this sort of thing has been happening for a while.

    No, his mother doesn't know where he's been staying. The father filed week before last a protective order against the mother & the hearing took place on Tuesday. The father was granted temporary custody of the kid & dropped him off at my house later that same night. The father was supposed to take him for a night during the week & then also on the weekend, but he "was no longer able to".

    I agree that that I'm not his parent & therefore not responsible for him, but I feel like his parents were just trying to use me to get rid of their child / not be responsible for him. I volunteered to take him until he graduated, but on Friday when I spoke to his father on the phone it started to sound like he wasn't planning to take the kid even after he graduated. Personally, I don't want to have that kind of responsibility. I was just trying to help him get out of a bad situation.

    i actually wound up taking the kid to Kohls to buy him clothing, shoes, socks & underwear because all of his clothes have holes in them & his shoes are coming apart (he tried to tape them back together). I think that's why I thought he'd appreciate what I was trying to do for him more. Who knows?
    Holy COW… what a frigging mess!!! I tend to agree w/Lynn @Manydogs it sounds like this is a complete mess that they are more than willing to let you deal with… and my heart just breaks thinking you had to buy clothes for the poor kid!!! Are the police aware that he is living w/you? He's probably too old for foster care… is there any other family in the area that he could stay with? I just feel like this is a TOTAL mess that you don't need to get more involved in. The parents need to GROWUP & take responsibility for the whereabouts of their son!!!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by Manydogs View Post
    Sorry to say this-but I think you have done your part. MOST of the time, children learn what they live. Sometimes good ones go bad-if they are weak, and have to "be one of the guys". But this kid sounds like he didn't have a chance from jump. You will wind up in the middle of a mess, and I don't think you can help him. He is the type that will have to go in service to learn respect,discipline sounds like. Just look at who he has for parents......you tried-don't feel guilt-his parents sure don't.Your family(and you) comes first.
    I agree with you 100%, which is why I told my friend that I couldn't be in the middle anymore. He's staying with another family down the street & I think that they might be better suited for him that I am. I just don't have the experience to be able to help teach him. You aren't the first person who's mentioned that maybe he should consider going into the military. It would probably do wonders for him.

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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by ddnene View Post
    Holy COW… what a frigging mess!!! I tend to agree w/Lynn @Manydogs it sounds like this is a complete mess that they are more than willing to let you deal with… and my heart just breaks thinking you had to buy clothes for the poor kid!!! Are the police aware that he is living w/you? He's probably too old for foster care… is there any other family in the area that he could stay with? I just feel like this is a TOTAL mess that you don't need to get more involved in. The parents need to GROWUP & take responsibility for the whereabouts of their son!!!
    You're telling me haha! How all of this started is because a close friend of his is a neighbor of mine. She actually tried to bully me into keeping him on Friday when I told her that I was done (I had gone into the basement to do laundry & the whole basement reeked because he hadn't flushed the toilet & there was trash everywhere). I told her the same thing that I posted here; I'm not a parent, I don't have the knowledge or experience to raise this kid & he needs more than what I can give him. She tried to ask what it would take for him to continue living here & I responded with "he would have to be an adult. Not physically, but mentally, and he's no where close to that".

    Child Services apparently went to the school on Friday to ask him about his current living situation. He told them that he was staying with me & gave them my phone number. He doesn't turn 18 until February, but my guess is that they won't put him in foster care for that short of a period of time.

  9. #33
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Your neighbor is HIS close friend? She didn't take him in? Does that tell you something? SHE wants YOU to board him? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
    "
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

  10. #34
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by Manydogs View Post
    Your neighbor is HIS close friend? She didn't take him in? Does that tell you something? SHE wants YOU to board him? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
    Oh yeah I agree 100%...
    @s5nelson
    I'm so sorry you got hung up in this mess, and you know the sad part is… YOU are the only one who cares about this kids well being!!! It's too bad that in today's world it's almost impossible to help kids nowadays… Sigh!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Too many throw away kids now a days. Fortunately for you, he is not your problem. My kids used to always bring home someone who needed a place to stay because they had been thrown out of their house. As much as our kids make us angry, and drive us insane, they are our kids and we have to be responsible. Unfortunately not everyone should be a parent--just like some should never have dogs. I pray Winston is OK! So sad the poor little guy got caught in a all of this!




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  12. #36
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    Default Re: Need Prayers

    Quote Originally Posted by Manydogs View Post
    Your neighbor is HIS close friend? She didn't take him in? Does that tell you something? SHE wants YOU to board him? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
    I'm sorry, I meant to say her daughter is close friends with him, but she wanted me to take him in. Yeah, I thought at the time it was just because I had more room, could afford him (she lives off of her child support checks) etc, but in really started to question her motives on Friday when she kept asking what it would take for him to stay with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by ddnene View Post
    Oh yeah I agree 100%...
    @s5nelson
    I'm so sorry you got hung up in this mess, and you know the sad part is… YOU are the only one who cares about this kids well being!!! It's too bad that in today's world it's almost impossible to help kids nowadays… Sigh!
    I think that's the most frustrating part of everything! No one else seems to care about him at all. His parents, his siblings, my neighbor, even the school / the counsellors / child protective services gave me the run around. What I went through just to get him out of his mother's house was absolutely ridiculous & I even had pictures as well as first hand reports of incidents. Everyone cares about covering their butts and not the welfare of others. It's so incredibly sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisRN View Post
    Too many throw away kids now a days. Fortunately for you, he is not your problem. My kids used to always bring home someone who needed a place to stay because they had been thrown out of their house. As much as our kids make us angry, and drive us insane, they are our kids and we have to be responsible. Unfortunately not everyone should be a parent--just like some should never have dogs. I pray Winston is OK! So sad the poor little guy got caught in a all of this!
    Thank God Winston seems to have pretty much recovered. He's taken 3 giant poops today & thanks to him loving to go poo in bushes I wasn't able it get to all of his poop, but I'm hoping whatever he ate came out. My friend pointed out that he doesn't usually swallow things like plastic / paper, just chews it & spits it back out. So we were wondering if there was leftover spoiled food from the kids lunch that he ate and that's why he was SO sick on Saturday.

    I am glad that there are parents who genuinely care about their kids. No lie, this whole incident kinda made me not want to have children haha! It is definitely a lesson learned on my part, and I'm really upset that Winston had to be a part of it, but at least he's ok.

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