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Thread: What's Best For My Bulldog?

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    Kennel Cleaner DeeDee's Avatar
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    Default What's Best For My Bulldog?

    I have not been on here for a long time, but I have a big problem and don't know what to do. Busters is my 3.5 year old English Bulldog. He was born with a cleft palate, and therefore, has a lot of health problems.....he can only eat ice cubes (water comes out his nose) --- his drool is especially bad because brown stuff comes out his palate, and he chews, chews, chews! I have tried to get him trained but both trainers have said that they think he chews because as a pup he couldn't suck and he even chews his blanket in his sleep. ANYWAY, to say the least, he is a lot of work and a handful. When we got him we were told that we couldn't have kids. Then we surprisingly ended up having a baby! Now, fast forward two years, and I am about to have TWINS! Due to complications with my first, I will be getting a C-section.
    Busters requires constant supervision because of his chewing (already has had surgery to remove a kong from his intestines, and we were told that he cannot chew anything non-food again!). SO -- with the c-section recovery; the two year old; the twin newborns who are due December; and the constant supervision needed, what do I do??? I would never drop him off at a shelter or give him to someone I didn't trust, but I am worried that his life is going to suck so much. He can't just be in the house without supervision....which means a cage or a dog run a lot of the time come December?! I want him to be happy and have a good life, but I am so overwhelmed by everything and I don't know what to do. His trainer has a huge acreage and she has a pack of dogs....he goes there for boarding if we go out of town for a weekend or whatever, and she said she would take him -- either for a few months or forever. I am wracked with guilt. He is part of our family, but I don't know if I can keep up and give him a good life at the same time. He will always have food, shelter, and his basic needs met, but I know that I cannot walk him after my section for at least 6 weeks, and at this point, when I try to walk him I start to have braxton hicks contractions, which isn't ok with twins. I am worried that he is going to have a sad lonely life and not enough exercise! The trainer says that if he goes to her place for a few months until I am healed and the in a good routine with the twins, then I can decide if I can manage him and the babies, etc. If yes, then take him back, and if not, then she would keep him. I just don't know if that is cruel or if it is cruel to send him to her for a couple of months and then take him back? Will he adjust to all those changes...not to mention that in less than a month we are moving to a new house. So do I put him through the adjustment of a new house; then send him to the boarder when I can't move or the twins are born; and then bring him back when I'm capable? Is that too much change? I don't know what to do, but I do love him and want him to be happy! Also, any advice on how to keep the dog hair in check...with twin newborns I need to do something --- at this point I could vacuum 3 or 4 times a day to keep it in control!
    Ok sorry so long...I am just very very stressed and have been crying for days and weeks about this and don't know what to do!
    Dee & Busters (aka Bustys)

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    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Dionne.... i tagged some members to hopefully help and provide some support in your decision. I honestly do not know what I would do, but in reading your post (several times) and the stress I am feeling tells me it is overbearing for you.

    First the small thing -- the shedding could be from the food you are feeding or just the time of year it is does he have allergies? My girl is just a heavy shedder, but it did lessen some what when I took her off a chicken based food and placed her on Fromm grain/chicken free food.

    Now, the big item, knowing the love you have for Bustys and you want what is the absolute best for him, it might be you know your decision. The more I read the post, the more I lean to having Bustys stay with your trainer and work him back into your home when you are capable of caring for him. all this stress just is not good for the health of the babies and you... also, all the changes in such a short time could have a negative impact on Buster... you know how OCD they can be. allow him to be a happy boy at the trainers home and you can go visit alone or with the babies and then when the time is right slowly, with the trainers assistance, you can work him back into your home. It may all work out in the end that he stays with them, but at least you know you did what was best for everyone's health, including your own.

    hugs and many prayers for you !!
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    e.

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    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Honestly..I read this earlier and didn't know what to say. It breaks my heart all around. My ONLY concern is really for Busters. You will be sad but move on. Your trainer has many dogs..will he just be another one? It concerns me, will he be able to get his palate fixed? I'm not sure it's even repairable..?? Might it not be best for Busters to surrender him to a rescue..where he can get his physical condition fixed and get a forever home? I just hate for any dog to go back and forth...but especially a Bully. Once your babies come, your life will never be the same. I don't really know how he relates to the trainer..if YOU feel he loves her and will truly be happy there, then I'm for a permanent home for him. Wherever the very best one is.

    Good Luck with your delivery...you've got a big job ahead!

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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Hi Dionne, wow that's a lot to dal with, and I totally understand how you must be feeling, you are torn between your skin babies and your furbaby, they are also part of our family, and are like one of your kids. You have a lot of valid concerns, with twins coming, and a toddler, that's a lot of work, and you want what's best for Buster as well. You mentioned that he was born with cleft palate and he can't have water as it comes out of his nose, and that he has brown stuff that comes out of his palate. Was his cleft palate surgically repaired or is it still open?
    I think that placing him temporarily if you think you need to, or if you will find it hard to cope with having three small babies, and a dog, post C- section surgery, would be a good option. You can place him with the trainer, he's familiar with both her and her place, as you said he has been boarded there before when you went away, and she is a trainer so is familiar with dogs. It sounds like a good place to be, the trainer has a huge property so Buster will have plenty of room to run around and get exercise, there are other dogs there so he will also be socialized. Then after a few months, and you have had time to heal from surgery and you are home with the kids and in a routine, and after you've settled in from your move, you can revisit your situation and make a decision if you can handle having the kids and Buster again. If you decide that you want him back, then you can bring him back to your new home, and since you would have already moved and settled in, and have a routine with the kids, the transition shouldn't be to upsetting or traumatic for Buster, and if you decide that your plate is too full, and you wouldn't have the time to give Buster, then you can make the decision to give him to his trainer, and that would be okay too, as he would have been living there for a while, and he would be settled and well taken care of. You are lucky to have this choice and option, to know you have a safe place where Buster can go even if its just temporary, while you are recovering from surgery, and all the changes in your life. You know he will be okay there, he will have room to run, and play, and will have a good home. And if you decide to place him there permanently, then at least you know you did what was best for him, and at least you know where he is, and you can stay in touch with the trainer and him through pictures, e-mails and even visits. Whatever decision you make will be hard, but will be what's best for you and your family, and what's best for Buster, and it will be made with love. Good luck Hun. Keep us posted on what you decide, and also on the birth of your twins, Congratulations, this must be so exciting.
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

  5. #5
    Norwegian Rose Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Hi Dionne, wow that's a lot to dal with, and I totally understand how you must be feeling, you are torn between your skin babies and your furbaby, they are also part of our family, and are like one of your kids. You have a lot of valid concerns, with twins coming, and a toddler, that's a lot of work, and you want what's best for Buster as well. You mentioned that he was born with cleft palate and he can't have water as it comes out of his nose, and that he has brown stuff that comes out of his palate. Was his cleft palate surgically repaired or is it still open?
    I think that placing him temporarily if you think you need to, or if you will find it hard to cope with having three small babies, and a dog, post C- section surgery, would be a good option. You can place him with the trainer, he's familiar with both her and her place, as you said he has been boarded there before when you went away, and she is a trainer so is familiar with dogs. It sounds like a good place to be, the trainer has a huge property so Buster will have plenty of room to run around and get exercise, there are other dogs there so he will also be socialized. Then after a few months, and you have had time to heal from surgery and you are home with the kids and in a routine, and after you've settled in from your move, you can revisit your situation and make a decision if you can handle having the kids and Buster again. If you decide that you want him back, then you can bring him back to your new home, and since you would have already moved and settled in, and have a routine with the kids, the transition shouldn't be to upsetting or traumatic for Buster, and if you decide that your plate is too full, and you wouldn't have the time to give Buster, then you can make the decision to give him to his trainer, and that would be okay too, as he would have been living there for a while, and he would be settled and well taken care of. You are lucky to have this choice and option, to know you have a safe place where Buster can go even if its just temporary, while you are recovering from surgery, and all the changes in your life. You know he will be okay there, he will have room to run, and play, and will have a good home. And if you decide to place him there permanently, then at least you know you did what was best for him, and at least you know where he is, and you can stay in touch with the trainer and him through pictures, e-mails and even visits. Whatever decision you make will be hard, but will be what's best for you and your family, and what's best for Buster, and it will be made with love. Good luck Hun. Keep us posted on what you decide, and also on the birth of your twins, Congratulations, this must be so exciting.
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    I just wrote a long reply to this thread, and somehow it disappeared. In a nutshell, I think now is the time for you to let Buster go to the trainer(you are, at this time,lucky to have someone who will care for him) because you have left him there in the past-so you must feel that "they" are trustworthy, and your stress, moving, giving birth, and all the confusion, would seem to stress Buster out more than being at the trainer's place. When things settle down(hopefully they will) and you have a fairly good routine, then you can make the decision about bringing Buster home-or not. You will have had one less thing on your plate(for the time being) you can know that Buster is taken care of, and if, in the future it turns out that you have more than you could handle bringing Buster home-you will have been "weaned" from him a little, where you can make the right decision for HIM and YOU, and your family. I pray for you that things work out, and try not to feel guilt(though I know we all would) because you WILL do what it best, at least temporarily for Buster and your family. When things settle down, you will be able to think more clearly and make the right decision. Consider this a temporary situation right now.I know we will all be praying for you. "I can do all things through Christ, who strenghtheneth me." Or a mantra of your choice will give you strength to do the right thing, for now.
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    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"

  7. #7
    Kennel Cleaner DeeDee's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Thanks to everyone who replied.....of course I cried through all your posts! They did help me though --- I have never had a dog before, or even been around dogs. Growing up I had an actual phobia of dogs (needed psychiatric help to get me to the stage, as a teen, of even leaving my own yard), so Busters was a huge step, but I don't know a lot. I thought that everyone would think I was a horrible person for even thinking of giving him to the trainer, temporarily or permanently. I know that she has lots of dogs, but she is retired, and her lifestyle is to be WITH the dogs all the time. They are never alone. They are outside with her all day. Busters is very well socialized and loves other dogs, and she really loves him. She thinks he is the funniest dog she's ever met and that he could be in movies! ha ha She doesn't just keep them locked up or outside alone all day, without her. She even sleeps with them sometimes when the weather is nice. She also totally understands his health issues and is careful to crate him if she can't supervise him, as he does eat things he shouldn't. As for the cleft palate ---- this was also a very difficult decision for my husband and I. When he was 4 months old we did get his palate "fixed". It was a horrible recovery for him, and he ended up having to eat tiny homemade dog food meatballs (200 out of my hand per day), and then wear the cone, and stay in his crate with nothing that he could put his mouth on (not even a blanket), as they didn't want him to rip the stitches out. Anyway, that was a good 3 months. The soft part of the palate stayed closed, but the hard part reopened. The vets here have suggested many times that we redo the surgery until it is fully closed, however, they admit it could take up to 4 more tries. I just can't imagine putting him through such an ordeal 4 more times. Not only does it cost $2000 each time, but he is then stuck in his crate 24 hours a day for 3 months, because if he puts ANYTHING in his mouth, it could rip open the stitches. He is not suffering --- he is not losing weight --- he is not sick in anyway, shape, or form, with his palate as it is. As long as he only eats hard food and nothing soft, it doesn't seem to get up there. Soft food, water, etc gets into his palate, and the concern is he could aspirate it into his lungs and get pneumonia. If this happens too many times he could die, however, it has not happened once and he is over 3.5 years old. He can drink water, but chooses not to, as it is more comfortable for him to eat ice. I really stressed over the decision to redo the surgery or not, but he's already had eye surgery, a surgery to remove a kong from his intestines, and one cleft palate surgery. He's also got a leg problem, so had to spend a few weeks resting it (yet again -- crated).
    The funny thing about Busters is that he has absolutely no anxiety -- he LOVES going to the vet --he LOVES other dogs -- nothing phases him. When I leave him at the trainers he doesn't seem to miss me at all. He doesn't get really excited or happy when I come home. He doesn't really seem to care about anything but eating and chewing. If food is involved he's so excited, and he loves other dogs, but he doesn't really seem to care about us. He doesn't even act like he wants to be around us most of the time. He always wants to go to the basement and chew his bone or toy alone. I thought he would be really attached to me since I hand fed him meatballs and such, and he was with me all the time, but unless I have food or treats, he doesn't really care!
    Dee & Busters (aka Bustys)

  8. #8
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    Quote Originally Posted by DeeDee View Post
    The funny thing about Busters is that he has absolutely no anxiety -- he LOVES going to the vet --he LOVES other dogs -- nothing phases him. When I leave him at the trainers he doesn't seem to miss me at all. He doesn't get really excited or happy when I come home. He doesn't really seem to care about anything but eating and chewing. If food is involved he's so excited, and he loves other dogs, but he doesn't really seem to care about us. He doesn't even act like he wants to be around us most of the time. He always wants to go to the basement and chew his bone or toy alone. I thought he would be really attached to me since I hand fed him meatballs and such, and he was with me all the time, but unless I have food or treats, he doesn't really care!
    You are not a horrible person for struggling to do what is right..... like i said, I think you know your answer, but acting on it is the hardest part.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
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    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  9. #9
    Rescue Volunteer Lokismom's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    I think you reaching out to EBN is the best thing that you could have done! This group has helped many people in many situations. I would have to agree with the other members maybe putting him in a rescue situation might not be a bad idea. Then you know that he will get the love and attention that he needs. What a tough decision you have to make.
    "If our dogs don't like you we probably won't either"

  10. #10
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    I agree a rescue might give him the opportunity to be placed with another family. Whatever you decide I wish you the best. I know this is not easy decison.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    This post is breaking my heart. I can't imagine what you are feeling. Good luck with your decision and your new babies. Just make sure Busters gets the love, attention and family he deserves.

  12. #12
    Pet Sitter jlcox24's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Best For My Bulldog?

    What a tough choice, however although I think rescues are great, if you feel as though it sounds you do about the trainer then Personally that's where I would lean if needed! She know's him, You know her, he knows her, and as mentioned she's willing to take him temporarily if that's what you so choose. I think that would be a great option as you could adjust and decide to add him back in to your family slowly, like another mentioned taking the kids to her house to get him used to the new babies and such. Whatever choice you make it sounds like you have him in your best interest and a good option to go with so don't feel guilty. Good luck and keep us posted!!

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